To tell DH he's not on a sodding low carb diet

[puginamug]

DH is a bit funny about food. In that he likes to do the shopping and decide what we eat.

He'll ask us but if 'he doesn't fancy it' he'll decide we're having something else.

This involves sometimes daily trips that the supermarket.

What annoys me is that he keeps pretending he's on a low carb diet. He's not. He eats crisps, bread, chips, whatever he fancies. Whenever I go to the supermarket or suggest dinner he'll complain that I am sabotaging his diet.

Tonight texted me at work to ask if I wanted him to get dinner. I said yes. DH has taken DS to training but didn't have time to go shopping.

I've said fine, I'll rustle everyone up some pasta for everyone to be ready when they get back.

DH has said no, because of his low carb diet. So he's planning to go shopping when training has finished.

It's a weird control thing.

I'm fucking starving! It will be at least an hour before we eat.

Tell him DS is a child, what’s his excuse?!?

My bf thinks he is on 16:8 diet. I think he has just given himself so many exceptions that he doesnt think those count. Additionally he thinks anything with a vegetable is healthy and I'm looking at the plate thinking "it's not the worst but very healthy is really pushing it".

I'm just saying that your partner might think he is on low carb but he has given himself so many exceptions and has done zero research and only pushes it on the e situation he feels like cause he feels guilty. That being said, he needs to either do proper food shop and when you want carbs then he can replace the pasta with some vegetables. He cannot expect every one else to follow his diet.

What’s weird is that you go along with it.

Are you a sahm who feels like she has to cowtow to the Man Of The House because he has an Important Job that Pays The Bills? Which to many people means they have to do what they are told. Perhaps there are more things you need to consider if that is the case?

Apologies if not, just saying.

I agree with pp who say feed yourselves and let him know in advance to get something suitable for himself on the way home if what you’re eating isn’t what he wants for dinner.

Not helpful but I am dying to see what “‘low carb” shopping he comes in with!

Why aren't you sitting down right now with a big bowl of carbonara and a glass of wine? And let him crack on with whatever he comes home with. If he's still cooking at 9pm, maybe he'll eat what's put in front of him another night.

My husband and I sat separately. I prefer eating with my kid around 17:00, and I'm a veggie. Husband eats around 20:00 and eats meat etc.

I would let no one dictate what and when I could eat. Come on woman! Make yourself some bloody pasta

I'm making pasta

Nah I'd freak. You have far more patience than I do. Your husband would rather keep you and DC hungry while he fannies about doing a shop for ONE dinner he likes? Would you ever just take control and make food for yourself and the child and don't be sitting there hungry or waiting. He's an arsehole and a control freak, not to mention wasting money. A meal plan and ONE weekly shop is how most people manage, even those on low carb diets. You have a family, you can't be expected to be waiting like fools while he meal plans like a bloody student.

Every time he ate carbs I would point and say "carbs". Every time. I would turn it into a game.

Ooh what pasta are you making Op? My favourite is spaghetti shape with basil pesto with pine nuts

Does he know what cards are ??? . I'd write him a list of all the carbs he eats to show him he is definitely not on a low carb diet !!

I would have a specific notebook at the ready and every time he eats carbs I would say out loud...carbs...packet of crisps and the date and time

Why don't you just ignore him and do the meal planning/shopping for the rest of you?

This would seriously annoy me. But then I wouldn't let someone like your DH dictate what we were eating!

Why not cook for you, and DC if they want the same, then leave him to it?

It's fine for him to be on a "low carb" diet that includes carby snacks, but that's not really healthy for a child. Your DS would be better off in a balanced diet with healthy complex carbs like oats, other wholegrains, potatoes, higher carb vegetables and fruit not too many unhealthy snacks like crisps and cakes. Children do better getting into good habits if you stick to the same plan for them all the time not messing about with different diets. I think you need to take control of things to make sure your DS is getting the best diet for a young boy.

I can never understand why people are such bloody martyrs. Sitting there starving because someone else told them they can’t eat until they get home? Seriously, get a bloody grip.

Just cook for yourself and DC. Why pander to him. Also who the f goes to the supermarket so often. I HATE food shopping. Once every ten days is enough for me. 20mins in there and OUT. I'd rather have a filling the go to the shops. If I lived alone I honestly wouldn't bother.

Buy some low carb pasta (I'm sure you can get pea or black bean pasta from aldi or Lidl) and some frozen cauli rice and some water noodles (not loads just a couple) then make what you want and if he complains that he's on a low carb diet then reassure him that he'll be fine and when you dish out curry and rice for everyone, his will have cauli rice.... When you dish out bolognese for everyone his will have low carb pasta.

Then he can't complain.

Or alternatively leave him to it whilst cooking for yourself!!

My DH tells people we are veggie. No we bloody aren't. We eat chicken and fish. Its very embarrassing when we get invited to BBQs and dinners etc. Its like those scenes from Gavin and Stacy where Pam has everyone believing she's veggie, then is seen nibbling a sausage.

I have several food allergies and don’t eat meat. I would NEVER force anyone to eat the same meal as me. You eat the pasta. He can make his own dinner.

You said it, it's a weird control thing.

Weird control things, about food or anything, are not a good example to set a child. You need to model 'normal' for your DS.

Did you make the pasta? I hope you did and it was delicious.

What did he bring back from the shops?

Agree with pp that you need to stop letting him dictate like this- do a meal plan for you and the kids, a weekly shop and he can either join you or cook for himself!

Me and dp are both weird about food so as a rule we eat seperately or different meals together. I would say dont buy for him in your weekly shop unless it's a non perishable and only ask him to buy for you if you eating it that day, its makes for less waste. We eat together a couple of times a week when we plan for it and it feels like treat but I can always eat what I fancy every day. Sounds like hes similar just separate yourself from him hes not a child and can eat what likes and the same goes for you!

What does he say when you tell him he isn’t low carb if he eats carbs all the time? Have you tried straight up telling him he’s to stop being controlling with the meals and stop pretending to be on a low carb diet when he isn’t on one in the first place? I couldn’t deal with this nonsense.

Sounds like my DH with his ever changing dietary requirements and no carb obsession. We’ve just decided to eat different things. So I cook for DD and I, something that I want and that I know she’ll eat, then he cooks his own (usually grilled fish/chicken and some vegetables). We try to time it so we can all sit down and eat together. Lots more washing up but it creates fewer arguments and we can all eat what we want. We just meal plan in advance and buy the weeks worth online.