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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP - ‘my life is SO boring!’

97 replies

Niceeyes · 14/04/2021 22:51

I’m beyond pissed off! DP and I weee having a lovely text chat today then he randomly texted ‘my life is sooo boring!’ Then he quickly deleted it. I challenged him on it but he kept changing the subject. When he got home from work I asked him what he meant, he said it was meant for me but he deleted it as he’d spent it wrong....buff if it actually had zero to do with what we were texting about.
I asked him again at bedtime and he just said he’s tired and rolled over. I’m fuming! We have an amazing life never argue, do date nights, great sex life. I think he meant to text someone else

OP posts:
Incywincyspinsters · 14/04/2021 23:13

If it was a random interjection in your text chat I’d say yes, it’s likely he meant to send that to someone else. Which would also tie in with why he promptly deleted it, too.

What you make of that is up to you.

rainbowthoughts · 14/04/2021 23:19

I think he meant to text someone else too. That's not to say it was anyone he shouldn't be texting. He could have been messaging a mate, but deleted in the hope you wouldn't see because calling his life boring sounds like it is partly about you

MindyStClaire · 14/04/2021 23:28

I agree it sounds like he was texting someone else, but that doesn't mean it was in any way improper. Isn't everyone feeling a bit that way ATM?

AlrightTreacle · 14/04/2021 23:30

Isn't everyone's life a bit boring atm?

Woodlandbelle · 14/04/2021 23:30

I think he was texting a friend. Life is pretty boring at the moment though. If you have a decent relationship I wouldnt get too worked up.

Ponoka7 · 14/04/2021 23:31

I'm happy in my relationship, but bloody hell life is so boring at the moment. It was for someone else and not necessarily a reflection on your life together.

bonfireheart · 14/04/2021 23:38

Agree with others, have a lovely home life challenging job happy DD but omg am I bored!! Even the great sex and date nights you mentioned, wouldn't help my boredom right now.

expectopelargonium · 14/04/2021 23:39

Everyone's life has been boring for the last year though, hasn't it? I wouldn't read all that much into it.

MimiDaisy11 · 14/04/2021 23:43

There are lots of possible innocent reasons for it. If things in the relationship are fine I wouldn't worry about it. I've said that to my sister before as she lives in Australia and hasn't been affected by covid really. She goes to comedy shows and outdoor events all the time. Maybe his friend was saying he was doing some crazy fun things and your husband meant to reply to that. In a context like that it's basically just saying that sounds fun I'm not up to that much.

mellicauli · 14/04/2021 23:48

He wasn't saying you were boring. He was saying he hasn't got any news. I mean he's not going to tell his sister about great sex life ,is he?

MessAllOver · 14/04/2021 23:50

My DH's life is unbelievably boring. I get bored and start yawning just thinking about it. Not my problem.

newstart1337 · 14/04/2021 23:54

Its possible that they could indeed be 'bored'. Its unfair of you to dismiss that just because you are not. Maybe time to understand their concerns rather than just ridicule them.

newstart1337 · 14/04/2021 23:57

Date nights can be exciting for one person and 'boring' for the other. Sex can be exciting for one person and 'boring' for the other.

Its unfair to ridicule them.

Lou98 · 15/04/2021 00:08

To be honest I would assume if it was written like that it was sarcastic and probably meant for someone else.

If you have a good relationship which it sounds like you do, I wouldn't give it anymore thought

Siepie · 15/04/2021 00:21

We have an amazing life never argue, do date nights, great sex life.

I have all of those things and my life is still boring at the minute. His life being boring isn't a reflection on you especially after over a year of covid restrictions!

NicEv · 15/04/2021 00:26

Why are you so bothered by this ? Surely he is allowed to have a moan to his mates every now and again. I think your response is over the top and sounds controlling to be honest

steff13 · 15/04/2021 00:28

He's allowed to think his life is boring sometimes. He's not being unreasonable unless he expects you to make it more interesting for him.

Jobsharenightmare · 15/04/2021 00:30

As it was out of context of the conversation and he deleted it it seems very unlikely it was meant for you. That leaves two possibilities. He was messaging a friend/family member or someone he doesn't want you to know about.

There would be less reason to delete it and get defensive if it was meant for a friend. Why wouldn't he be honest and say you're right, me and X were having a Covid moan/I'm jealous of X for Y...or I don't mean to hurt your feelings but yes I'm really bored atm etc.

I remember the first coatsprotectionleague thread and how defensive her DH got re the photo he sent to her in error in the middle of other photos and chatting via messages. Many people said that innocent mistakes don't usually make someone delete or disengage; innocent people can laugh this kind of error off. So many people replied to try and find any reason OP should ignore her gut and drop it. She was right unfortunately and he was involved with someone else.

That obviously might not be the case here but context is key. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.

Lanique · 15/04/2021 00:53

I can't understand why he didn't just say "yeah sorry, it was meant for xxx, we were talking about how crap lockdown is, but I sent it to you instead. Of course I don't find YOU boring, and I'm very happy in our relationship and love you very much. I guess I'm just struggling with how monotonous things are at the moment." Or words to that effect. Easily done, easily forgivable, no big deal.

Why he's bluffing over some crap about spelling mistakes, however, is puzzling, and suggests he's feeling guilty over what he said for some reason. No you're left wondering why that might be Hmm. For that reason OP, I can see why you're feeling a little pissed off.

aurynne · 15/04/2021 03:40

So if your DH finds his life boring, do you really think that getting angry with him will help things? In which way exactly?

Helenahandbasket1 · 15/04/2021 03:50

He is entitled to feel bored by his life.

He is not entitled to let you know he is bored (accidentally or otherwise) and then refuse to discuss it. You are now left doubting the life you have together. He could have explained it away - he could have been messaging a friend about work and meant it in that context. Or he could be flirting with another woman a be justifying an affair. You don’t know. I’d be furious in your shoes.

DownUdderer · 15/04/2021 03:52

But why is he lying about this text? If it was meant for someone else and it's innocent then why is he lying about it?

PatrickBatemann · 15/04/2021 03:59

@Ponoka7

I'm happy in my relationship, but bloody hell life is so boring at the moment. It was for someone else and not necessarily a reflection on your life together.
This. I'm beyond bored of life lately, but not my DP
Blacktothepink · 15/04/2021 04:03

Did you give him a blow job yet? Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2021 04:13

I texted my mate the exact same text yesterday.

I would told DP if he'd received it in error. Unless he was weirdly controlling and invested in me being super-happy during lockdown. Or I was having an affair. Either one.

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