To ask you, what is the point of life?

[Stormwhale]

My question is not related to c19, and I can see that I may be depressed, but I can no longer see the point of living. I am not suicidal, noone needs to talk me off the ledge, but I just can't see the point anymore.

Everything I do, just seems so pointless. What is it that makes life worth living to you? Am I fundamentally missing something? I'm not sure if I need to make some huge changes in my life or if everyone feels like this.

I feel like every day I am just waiting for it to be over. I have children, and I think they are the closest I feel to feeling like life is worthwhile, but the rest. Nope.

Hmm good question actually.
In the depths of depression I had no joy in anything, thought all the the time “what’s the bloody point”.
If I don’t turn up for work, they carry on without me, my kids do ok, but actually would they do ok without me?
The conveyer belt of the same thing day in day out and to what end?
I don’t know what to say to you.
Apart from that depression badly clouds your views.
On the other side of it, I think back at my thinking and it blows my mind that such thoughts were even there.
Get the help, get yourself to the other end of this, summers on its way xxx

Sadly, I feel like this too. It hit me after my mother died. I’d always been important to the wellbeing of the people I love most - dependent children, dependent mother, main breadwinner. Then I found myself unnecessary. Mother died, children launched but no prospect of grandchildren yet, doing a part time fairly pointless job for a fraction of my previous income.

I have a nice life, good friends, am able to enjoy my hobbies, but I’m not convinced I would be that fussed if I fell under a bus.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I went through this at age 25-27ish, it was an existential crisis and unbearable and miserable at the time. But something I feel I very much had to go through to come out the other side appreciating life more.

Yes you definitely sound depressed. Depression doesn't have to be lying in bed all day, or crying a lot. It can be a constant feeling of "what's the point? and not finding any joy in life.

You could start by discussing things with your doctor.

Also, what do you enjoy in life? Exercise can be very beneficial. Spending some time outdoors. Being self-indulgent and doing what you want for a bit - reading a book, watching a boxset - going out to the pub!

I know how you feel. I think the only people who feel there is a meaning to life are those with either a lot of money (so they can buy their way to happiness) or no imagination or analytical thinking (so they can't comprehend that ultimately, everything they do is worthless).

You will get people telling you the meaning of life is to be happy with your family, or to do what is right, or to do your best and be satisfied that you are the best version of yourself, or a whole host of other trite reasons. These are, at best, merely a way of coping with life, of tricking oneself into surviving.

The truth is there may be no point to life at all other than that it is the natural order of things. Humans may be abnormal in that we have developed to consider existential questions like this: other species just seem to be stuck in a survive/reproduce/evolve cycle.

Essentially the fact that we are here is just because of a prolonged string of random accidents. Some people realise this, others don't have the imagination to. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to enjoy life and find ways to make ourselves happy, it's just that in doing so we are acting to make our time alive better and not for any grand masterplan of the universe.

That sounds like depression to me too. I had it very badly for a while many years ago, but I recovered and now I wish I could live to 150, as its the only way I will get everything done that I want to do. Life to me is about enjoying myself and having as many experiences as I can with the people I love.

Hmm...interesting.

We are here because science, and the adults before us, put us here. The purpose of our being here - well, I suppose that differs person to person. Some will leave a tangible benefit or legacy when they go (scientific discovery, great works of art or literature, laws etc). Some will assist with repopulating. Some will simply just be along for the ride.

I suppose I figure "well, i am here. I exist. Might as well just crack on with what occurs each day"

Is it my purpose? Nah. Even my kids - they are fucking fabulous (if you dont mind me saying so), but they are not my purpose neither is my job. I like it, and I work hard, but is it my purpose? Nope.

I'm just here for the ride, grabbing bits of joy where they present themselves.

It's something I try not to stop and think about too much or it feels a bit overwhelming. I'm quite a goal orientated person, I'm terrible for not living in the moment which is not good for lots of reasons but it does distract me from the overarching feeling of doom that this is all pointless 😬 I always try to have something to look forward to which helps motivate me, Covid has made that difficult.

Although I don't want it to end and death terrifies me! The void...so it's not from a place of why even bother if that makes sense.

I felt like this when I was depressed. As pp said, looking back now at that time in my life I don't recognise those feelings. Definitely try to get some help, talk to your gp if you can, if not just talk to someone, it really can help.
For me personally life is about being comfortable and accepting that I won't be happy all the time, I try to enjoy the small things, and let the mundane things kind of just happen. Every now and again there's a huge burst of happiness and joy, but I get just as much joy from a book or a hobby I'm trying out.
Contentment and being a good person is my goal in life. Aswell as a lot of adventures on the way.
Hope you feel brighter soon.

Do you have a meaningful job (or volunteering) that makes a difference to others? That gives more meaning to life I think.
We need to be able to do things that are important to us and in line with our values. If nothing seems important enough to bother, then yes you are probably a bit depressed.

OP I've posted this question under different usernames quite a few times over the last few years as I used to feel very very much the same.

No matter what natural remedies I engaged in like exercise, etc I still felt this way.

I had therapy which helped massively as my husband spelled out the way I'm thinking is depression and I was kidding myself that it wasn't.

Therapy helped massively and then after years of fighting it I caved into taking medication - a very very small amount of sertraline. I'm now off it as an TTC but the few months I took it has made me feel better. Maybe this is worth a try for you too?

I feel like this and I'm not depressed. But for me I think it is definitely covid. Life is just so monotonous, I work from home. Without the birthday parties and anniversary dinners, the girls drinks, street music, a trip to France just because, a crazy unexpected night out that started as dinner....what's the bloody point? I can't remember the last time I met someone new, or last time k danced, or saw something beautiful nor unusual, or attended a seasonal market. I haven't seen my mum and sister in 7 months. Actually I'm doing really well to not be depressed!

I don’t know the answer. For me I think - we are here - for a finite period ( none of us know how long) - the best we can do is to take opportunities for happiness and fulfilment where we can, and give something back to others too. I found Bertrand Russell’s book ‘The Conquest of Happiness’ helpful. Also Buddhist philosophy.

I know how you feel. I think the only people who feel there is a meaning to life are those with either a lot of money (so they can buy their way to happiness) or no imagination or analytical thinking (so they can't comprehend that ultimately, everything they do is worthless

Please stop with the ignorance - people with money are not automatically happy. Why do you think celebrities die of overdoses and mental health issues - because of all that money they had?

I have money - not being goady at all just facts - and this made me feel guilty about my depression, it's not helpful.

Depression is to do with chemicals in your brain and no amount of money can change that if the chemical balance isn't right.

Depression doesn't discriminate against how much money you have in the bank.

I see many people with not a lot of money happy as Larry - so don't bring money into it.

Also OP I recommend you read Derren Brown 'Happiness'

The concerning thing is that I'm already on antidepressants. I'm on amitryptiline for pain, but the gp kept increasing it until it is now in the depression treatment range. So not sure what else could be done for me.

I am 30. It could possibly be an existential crisis. I catch myself thinking all the time that humans as a race are quite pointless. It seems crazy to me that we do so much to save lives. Again, not relating to c19, more situations like paramedics working to save someone's life, its all to stop other humans grieving.

Have I lost the plot? I still laugh, I dont cry all the time, I feel some joy in my children, but everything else feels pointless.

The things I enjoy are not always possible as I have long term health issues. I am stuck in the house a lot at the minute because of it which probably doesn't help. The last time I felt alive and like I was enjoying life to the full was probably about 3 years ago now. We had a dog, were out in the country side a lot. She died a couple of years ago now and it's not possible to take on another dog at the minute.

I don't feel like life has to have a "meaning". I like life and live it to the full. That's enough for me.

This does sound like depression to me.

Not finding pleasure in anything is one symptom. I remember the moment I first found pleasure again, after I'd started antidepressants. It was incredible, and I hadn't even realised it had been missing until it came back.

Also scheduling things you enjoy into every day, so you are balancing duty and pleasure, is good. If you can't think of anything you enjoy, that in itself is a useful clue.

Intellectually I can see your point, but take seriously the question of depression first.

I don’t think questioning the meaning or point of life automatically means you are depressed. Philosophers have been asking these questions for centuries.

I don’t know if the OP is depressed or not. I struggle with the same thoughts and ultimately I don’t think there is a point to life so some people are able to make their own point or find a way to give it meaning.

Therapy really gave me the opportunity to think about this issue without the person I was talking to assuming I was depressed or suicidal. I was able to say things that I didn’t feel I could express to others.

Again, not relating to c19, more situations like paramedics working to save someone's life, its all to stop other humans grieving.

I do see where you're coming from I really do! I also think maybe review things after lockdown as the current situation isn't going to help these feelings - we are not living under normal conditions which may be heightening the way you feel

skirk64

You have nailed it there. I constantly compare us humans to animals, and cant work out why we bother. I would quite like to be a koala. They are so intrinsically stupid, they would never feel like this. I feel like ignorance would be incredibly peaceful.

I felt like this, I have kids, they are great, but lockdown has made me realise that outside my kids I do t have a life. Nothing. When lockdown ends my life will be no different. I’ve changed that now.

The answer to your question is - have fun, there’s lots of it out there, find it!

I don’t think questioning the meaning or point of life automatically means you are depressed. Philosophers have been asking these questions for centuries.

I guess there are some merits to this too. Very interesting thread - now you have me questioning again OP what's the point!

Purpose of life biologically and scientifically is to procreate and then make sure your offspring are successful at procreating. I know it sounds primitive but it's factual.

But anyway I don't really feel like that's what matters. Who cares what point of life is. I would just say try and find some happiness ( you don't need to be happy all the time ) and also see if you can eliminate the things that make you unhappy.

CBT therapy can help a lot with depression. It helped me a lot so did exercising, exercise is probably the most significant thing you can do on your own but I would recommend doing CBT as well.

For me it was CBT, exercise and eliminating a couple big stressors in my life. I had to leave my job and move cities to do that though but everyone's situation is different.