To ask you, what is the point of life?

[Stormwhale]

My question is not related to c19, and I can see that I may be depressed, but I can no longer see the point of living. I am not suicidal, noone needs to talk me off the ledge, but I just can't see the point anymore.

Everything I do, just seems so pointless. What is it that makes life worth living to you? Am I fundamentally missing something? I'm not sure if I need to make some huge changes in my life or if everyone feels like this.

I feel like every day I am just waiting for it to be over. I have children, and I think they are the closest I feel to feeling like life is worthwhile, but the rest. Nope.

I feel the same right now. I seem to go through phases where I think like this and I'm currently going through one now. For me, it is a kind of depression and I've tried antidepressants which make me worse.

Please request a medication review. If you are taking enough amitriptyline to be in the depression therapeutic range then it must be making you feel awful. I take a tiny dose for pain and it causes some drag. There are better meds available for depression ( by a long, long way) and possibly better meds for your pain too.

For me the point of life is found in different things each day, some small some not.

I felt the same about humans vs animals when I was pregnant too. I had so many worries about whether I was fit to be a mum, then able to parent two the second time. I just wished I was an animal, driven only by instinct without the worry that I would screw up.

I also feel like we have over evolved and life has become so far from what we would experience naturally that it is fucking us all up. Social media, the abundance of products and foods available to us, the pressure to work constantly (which I am not able to due to health problems, so feel like a constant failure), beauty standards imposed on women, the constant need for everyone to appear perfect at all times.. the list goes on. It all feels worthless.

I think I would be genuinely happy if I had a very simple existence, off the grid, growing my own food and raising animals to help sustain us. Maybe I was born in the wrong time?

@Stormwhale sounds like an existential crisis to me. I definitely went through what you are describing. I felt like I was losing my mind and I would watch all my friends going to uni, getting good jobs, saving etc and I thought what's the point as we are all going to die anyway, what is the actual point? Then I went to the doctors and got put on fluoxetine and voila, I don't feel like that anymore. I now know there really is no point to life, we are just advanced animals to our own detriment but I know that we have to make the most of our own lives whilst we are here. That doesn't mean curing cancer and saving the world but just being as happy as we can be. Have you watched videos on YouTube about existential crisis? It's really not nice to go through but I'm glad I did because I feel it's added to my overall experience of life and how I view it. Maybe you should speak to doctor about changing anti ds?

Sorry, I am aware this thread is completely self indulgent, but I am just trying to work it all through. The thoughts are getting to a point where they are filtering into everything. I was watching a police program, and all i could think was, what is the point of even policing crime.

I have had a lot of talking therapy in the past, so perhaps you are right that I need more help. I sort of thought I was fixed, but this has steadily snuck up on me since my dc2 was born and my health has deteriorated badly. My experience with the NHS has been very poor and has made me feel like noone cares if I live or die to be honest. I have recently seen a private specialist who is genuinely trying to help me improve my physical health, so I am hoping I will be more able to live life properly soon.

Stormwhale - when I read your post i felt very sad for you. Newly widowed i was feeling very low and then I picked up a photo of my grandchildren, the next generation, and suddenly the sun came out again and I felt so happy to still be alive. I wish you well.

"I'm on amitryptiline for pain, but the gp kept increasing it until it is now in the depression treatment range. So not sure what else could be done for me."

Some people have to try a few different meds before they find the one that works for them. It's trial and error. If you're already on depression meds then absolutely you need to be talking to your GP about whether it's working. Please go back to her/him.

I'm so sorry that your husband died longterm. Children do have a way of showing you that you still have something to live for.

I think c19 has definitely not helped. We are all cut off from our loved ones in a way that hasn't happened before for any of us. I guess we are only every truly irreplaceable to our loved ones, and the pandemic has separated us from them for so long.

Depression is to do with chemicals in your brain and no amount of money can change that if the chemical balance isn't right.

That's a myth. There is no evidence base to support it.

I definitely think there is an element of depression to this way of thinking

And yet I also don't believe in a higher purpose or greater meaning to life. Which in some ways is quite freeing. We are here for a limited amount of time so just fill it with as many experiences and make as much of an impact on others as we can.

Highly recommend everyone watches the video below.

www.news.uwa.edu.au/archive/201309176069/alumni/tim-minchin-stars-uwa-graduation-ceremony/

I realise that's very easy to say and hard to do in current times, but I still think it's about just staying as connected as we can and filling our time as much as we can with things that we enjoy. Even if it's just small things.

But some days are just about survival and that is ok. Might not be great fun but it's absolutely ok.

I don't frigging know. I have been depressed for a long time, I am now, somewhat disabled. I don't see my being brighter, or any way out of my situation. I go on for my kids, I hope still offer them some things like love, empathy and understanding. It all seems so pointless.

I do gain some comfort from the fact that we don't know the meaning of reality. We don't know what consciousness is, or even wtf we are doing in this plane of existence. I find people who are fully in the materialist mindset quite dull, but grounding. I can't concentrate on the we are on planet in the middle of an unknowable universe mindset very long. It freaks me out

I sometimes wonder about this too OP, and I think unless you’re very religious or a brilliant scientist who’s going to do something amazing to save the world, there is not really a “point” to many people’s lives. But what’s the alternative to just carrying on? I don’t want to die, so I try not to think about and just enjoy life wherever I can.

I wish I knew, OP. I've still not figured it out at nearly 45. I've not met any of the "normal" milestones like having a career, owning a home, having and maintaining good interpersonal relationships and suchlike. I've gone from job to job, find no joy in anything, too exhausted to find whatever the "anything" might be and now I'm newly diagnosed with ADHD. Every day is a battle just to appear normal and functioning - being able to actually get stuff done without being on the edge of constant meltdowns would bring some meaning to life for me. I'm awaiting medication that can't come quickly enough.

There is no point to life. Life is an absurdity, brought about by random chance. Now, you can dwell on this concept as a negative, or you can see it as incredibly freeing. I have opted for the latter. If there is no point, then there is nothing and no one you are beholden to. So you can live your life as you please. I quite enjoy finding the beauty in life. Regarding your comparison of humans to other animals, it is true that our neural and social complexity can be a seen as a curse sometimes. Focus on the positives that have come from this, though. Our ability to create art and make music, for instance. I love listening to music, dancing, and staring at beautiful works of art. I love reading poetry. There is a huge amount of happiness and joy to be found in the pointlessness of life.

What a cheerful thread on a wet Wednesday morning.

That is the meaning of life.

For me life is about living - I work hard in a job that I find interesting and stimulating, exercise to feel good and challenge myself, have good mates to laugh and cry with - I like buying treats for myself and travel - I try and get the most out of life because it's short

there is no 'point' to life - it's what you make it!

It's best not to think about it ime.

There isn't one.

We are all here by accident of birth.

There's no actual point to any of us being alive. Some people have great lives, others have shit ones.

My own had been pretty terrible but it comforts me to realise there is no point in it all. In 100 years (probably less, my children don't really care much about who the great grandparents were), ill be long forgotten. And that's ok.

I decided long ago that there is absolutely no "point". There is no "meaning of life", or any of that. I'm not religious and don't believe in any form of after life.

I'm not remotely depressed though. If anything quite the opposite.

Humans suffer from thinking this due to our oversized brains! No other animal thinks about it! Basically “the point” biologically, is to reproduce. But we have the benefit of being able to take joy and pleasure from things in a way that other animals do not, music, art, travel, learning. I guess we all have to find our own “point” otherwise there isn’t one!

I would say psychological therapy can absolutely help you work through this stuff. There is definitely more to do to help.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling OP. I'm struggling mentally at the moment too but with a specific issue rather than general existentialism

To answer your original question, I don't think there necessarily is a 'point' to life. I don't think there's a definite purpose for everyone that must be fulfilled or else you end up feeling unfulfilled. People are happy sometimes, sad sometimes, and the ratio of happy times to sad times varies wildly from person to person. So I just try to do more of the things that make me feel happy and avoid things that make me feel sad (as much as is realistically possible!).

Sure, some people are out there doing massive good in the world; charity work, research into illnesses, conservation efforts etc., but I don't think you should contrast yourself negatively to these people. Or any people. It's human nature though, but at least don't dwell on it. Being 'good enough' for yourself is very important if not vital imo. Now, how to actually manage that... 🤔

I don’t need it to have a point or a meaning. I drove myself to distraction trying to find one and it only made me feel hopeless.

Now I am fine with it the idea that it’s just something we experience, rather than having an end goal or validation.

Live it as best you can, whatever that means to you, and notice the world around you. That’s all there is, and it can be pretty amazing.

Thank you for all your advice. I have been mulling it all over today, trying to work out what actually makes me happy, and what doesn't.

So far my happy list comprises of some things I can do at the minute, and some that I cant (either due to covid or my health), but its a start. Today I went out and bought a few plants to add to our front garden that I have been working on. That makes me happy, it feels worthwhile. I love the way it looks when you approach the house, and I can look at it from the sofa on really bad health days.

I think part of this is that I have been so focused on trying to shield the children from my health problems, constantly focusing on what they need, want, or would make them happy, especially during the pandemic, that I have totally lost sight of what I enjoy. I feel constant guilt due to the effect my health has on them, so I'm always trying to make up for it, which leaves me running on empty and utterly flat.

I really do appreciate your help. I'm sorry it isn't a super happy thread, but I actually don't know many people who are feeling super happy right now.