To ask you, what is the point of life?

[Stormwhale]

My question is not related to c19, and I can see that I may be depressed, but I can no longer see the point of living. I am not suicidal, noone needs to talk me off the ledge, but I just can't see the point anymore.

Everything I do, just seems so pointless. What is it that makes life worth living to you? Am I fundamentally missing something? I'm not sure if I need to make some huge changes in my life or if everyone feels like this.

I feel like every day I am just waiting for it to be over. I have children, and I think they are the closest I feel to feeling like life is worthwhile, but the rest. Nope.

OP, think of it as like being in an aeroplane - you have to sort out your own mental health, before you can be there for your children.

Sounds good that you've done some little things. You definitely need to take some time, and thought, for yourself so you can recharge

Please stop apologising OP. People only reply if they want to, and they have done so because they did.

Enjoy your new garden plants and plan something nice to do tomorrow. I'm not sure how old your children are, but even if they are still young it's fine to have lots of downtime between outings. And once they are teenagers it's often beyond my skill set to drag them out at all!

I know what you mean? At school I was never good enough for anyone, and for most, everything is based on some pointless exams that later on mean fuck all. Never good enough for your parents then work starts and you have more criticism especially in the dire corporate world that I'm in not through wanting to be there either. You have kids then question your parenting abilities.

You are judged by what you wear, how you look. Some people have very magical lives but for other its trudging through school then work which a hate and spend my life exhausted then probably won't be able to retire so will have to either carry on working until I drop down dead or end it as won't be able to support myself. Deep joy.

As an agnostic:

I think a lot of people have times when they question the purpose. Because in the end we don't, according to science (religion does see it differently). The planet Earth doesn't care what lives on its surface, it just exists. How and why, we have theories but no actual solid proof. It doesn't matter to Earth whether we procreate or not.

Our universe is reckoned to be about 14bn years old. That's an awful lot of years we - that is, those of us on Earth right now - didn't see, and there's be millions more that we won't when we're gone.

That's the macro level. but on the micro level we are here, now, and we have the capacity for love, friendship and many more emotions. So it makes sense to take advantage of them. Do things because they arouse those emotions in us. Our planet is beautiful, so let's enjoy the fact that we are here and can appreciate it.

I think it's normal to feel this way every now and again. The last time I went to counselling was when these thoughts became too intrusive for me to function normally but most of the time I can keep them at bay.

Just to add as well, I think sometimes there is too much expectation to be happy/fulfilled all the time, I try and aim for basically content/balanced these days. Taking pictures also weirdly helps me as it forces me to notice the little details in the world and be in the moment more.

skirk64 You have posted my exact thoughts. Animals just get through the moment and have no angst about where their life is heading, and it would be so much easier if we were like that ! I dont have children or any family so do wonder what Im here for, or what on earth my life has been.
Evolution has perhaps not done the human race a favour

For me it's the little things I've close siblings, inlaws, my DC.
When I'm feeling like you are I make a pack with myself to do some good deeds and retraining my brain with positive thinking.
I don't know what the actual point of life is but I'm glad I'm alive.

I'd call not seeing the point in endless pursuit of pre set goals, accolades, money and other socially constructed things progress :)

Animals just follow their instincts and so do we - look up Sam Harris "free will" we spend so much time defending an ego with attached labels that we think is us buts it not.

The thing a lot of people get angry about at one time or another is that we realise the conditions of the lives we lead were not our choice - or anyone's choice. We just happen to be here, as a PP brilliantly said along for the ride.

There's only so many fucks you can give op - give them wisely and do speak to Gp about a different med - that's a fuck definitely worth giving

Honestly OP I felt the same for years until a couple of years ago and I came to the conclusion that the best thing to do is to stop looking for the point.

Life doesn't have a point- it just is, however what it is is pretty amazing- complex, rich, beautiful, sometimes painful. Things like human connection and connection/interest in the world give people a purpose in life. If you are not so depressed that you are unable to find joy in things then seek out things that you enjoy or find ways to make other people happy or the world around you better.

@lovevlyt unfortunately only someone with money would say money doesn't help! I'm not saying it solves everything, but if I thought I had nights out, holidays etc to look forward to I'd feel so much happier. I constantly feel sad that my kids can't take up hobbies or sports they show an interest in because i can't afford it. It would cheer me up no end to be able to do nice things,travel and not have a constant low level of anxiety over money shortages.

skirk64 fantastic answer. Have always struggled with the question of what is the actual point .
Once one accepts the answer how you have put it .. it makes sense to do things that reward the brain such as community work .. stroke andog.. complete a task .. things that make you feel alive while u have this life .

This has honestly been so helpful. I started today feeling utterly hopeless, but this thread has helped massively. I think I do need to make some changes to help how I feel, and generally look for the things that make me happy.

I used to sing, in choirs mostly, some shows. Music and singing help me process emotions, and spark a whole range of them. I think I want to join a choir once c19 is under control. I think that would bring me joy, and I'm also going to play more music. I am going to focus on the garden too, as i really do enjoy that. Hopefully my health will improve and I will be able to get back to the long walks I enjoy as being in nature is very good for me too.

It has been helpful to hear that others feel like this, but still manage to love life. This morning I felt totally disillusioned with it, whereas now I feel hopeful. I dont think it helps that my illness causes horrendous brain fog, which makes me feel like I'm not quite here. It's harder to be mindful and enjoy the present when it feels like your head is in a bowl of jelly.

I do honestly think some of my mindset is factual, but perhaps not helpful to my level of fulfillment and happiness. Perhaps I need to join some sort of philosophy group and hash out the big questions there.

My only other thought was what about religion? Do I feel like this because I am not religious? Is that what I'm missing? My mother is very religious, and very content despite a hard life because she believes God is looking after her and has a path for her. I wish I felt like that to be honest, but I just don't.

There is no point in life. No fundamental meaning. We are all just here. We just do what we enjoy. Well, we do what we enjoy in our very limited free time...

I am going to read the couple of things suggested on the thread now the kids are in bed. Just found Free Will, thank you Warsawa, it looks very interesting.

I recommend the (free) Coursera course www.coursera.org/learn/finding-purpose-and-meaning-in-life/home/welcome I found it a human, practical, existential take on your question.

I am in a place where I find the thought of another 40+ years of this pretty unbearable, so I remind myself not to think about it and just focus on today.

I agree. There is no point. No meaning to it. At all. But equally, just being here is such a gift. To see the sun rise. To feel the warmth on your skin. To love. To feel. This planet is so beautiful and actually I feel grateful to reside on it's back and witness its beauty for the short time I'm here. The sky, the trees, the animals, just all of it. Weather. Everything. Utterly incredible. Even just watching my favourite tv show or reading a book. Hugging my child. Stroking my cat. Bliss.

I felt like this in my late 20s and when I hit 30. I always had very high aspirations for my life and was feeling disappointed in myself. I was also clinically depressed. I know it’s not this easy for a lot of people, but I left my hometown and got myself out of a rut. When I was away from the familiar I felt like I had to make things happen for myself.

For me, the purpose in life is found in learning new things, meeting new people, having new experiences, travelling and having a job that fulfils me intellectually. My job is public service based, so I feel like I’m making a difference in the world and to the lives of others.

You should definitely join a choir! It’s such a wonderful thing to be a part of. I used to be in one too, you’ve just inspired me to try to find another one to join once this wretched pandemic eases off!

So there’s some purpose right there, you’ve just inspired another person! Someone you’ve never even met.

@ToooOldForThis I hear you didn't mean to sound rude but people need to be kinder and as someone suffered from mental health that from the outside 'appears to have it all' is quite upsetting - and the very reason many are afraid to voice how their mental health is suffering out of fear they won't be taken seriously.

Money, I promise you, does not eradicate you from suffering from mental health.

Agreed it may give you options to seek helps etc but many well off people are depressed.

@lovevlyt I am so sorry, no I did not mean to be rude, and I absolutely understand that money does not protect you from mental health issues.
But saying that money doesn't help isn't true either- not worrying about money on a daily basis would transform my life. And it gives options and choices and opportunities that are completely closed to me.

@ToooOldForThis it's ok, I understand your point just also trying to make you see that money can create its own problems I guess x

unfortunately only someone with money would say money doesn't help! That is ridiculous money does make you safe from depression, far from it, if anything it would make you feel shitter for feeling depressed without poverty in the mix.
I'm far from a rich person or even someone with savings so not coming from a smug place.

OP I hope you're feeling better today, set yourself little tasks it helps even if you don't want it. William Glasser's audio choice theory helps me put things in shape. Life is amazing when you're feeling good. I spent 2 years under clouds of darkness a few years ago, sertraline helps too.

@lovevlyt

OP I've posted this question under different usernames quite a few times over the last few years as I used to feel very very much the same.

No matter what natural remedies I engaged in like exercise, etc I still felt this way.

I had therapy which helped massively as my husband spelled out the way I'm thinking is depression and I was kidding myself that it wasn't.

Therapy helped massively and then after years of fighting it I caved into taking medication - a very very small amount of sertraline. I'm now off it as an TTC but the few months I took it has made me feel better. Maybe this is worth a try for you too?

@lovevlyt, just out of interest what dose of Sertraline did you take? and were you okay coming off it? I'm not currently depressed but have diagnosed OCD and need to start taking an SSRI. I am just considering which one to try!

[quote lovevlyt]@ToooOldForThis I hear you didn't mean to sound rude but people need to be kinder and as someone suffered from mental health that from the outside 'appears to have it all' is quite upsetting - and the very reason many are afraid to voice how their mental health is suffering out of fear they won't be taken seriously.

Money, I promise you, does not eradicate you from suffering from mental health.

Agreed it may give you options to seek helps etc but many well off people are depressed. [/quote]
Anyone, regardless of wealth, can have Clinical Depression.

Chronic stresses do contribute to and/or trigger Depression though so chronic financial difficulties, inability to access resources/provide for your family, not being able to afford a healthy diet (which has a major impact on mental health), needing to work all hours just to survive etc. can definitely impact on Depression.