To ask you, what is the point of life?

[Stormwhale]

My question is not related to c19, and I can see that I may be depressed, but I can no longer see the point of living. I am not suicidal, noone needs to talk me off the ledge, but I just can't see the point anymore.

Everything I do, just seems so pointless. What is it that makes life worth living to you? Am I fundamentally missing something? I'm not sure if I need to make some huge changes in my life or if everyone feels like this.

I feel like every day I am just waiting for it to be over. I have children, and I think they are the closest I feel to feeling like life is worthwhile, but the rest. Nope.

@Stormwhale

I felt the same about humans vs animals when I was pregnant too. I had so many worries about whether I was fit to be a mum, then able to parent two the second time. I just wished I was an animal, driven only by instinct without the worry that I would screw up.

I also feel like we have over evolved and life has become so far from what we would experience naturally that it is fucking us all up. Social media, the abundance of products and foods available to us, the pressure to work constantly (which I am not able to due to health problems, so feel like a constant failure), beauty standards imposed on women, the constant need for everyone to appear perfect at all times.. the list goes on. It all feels worthless.

I think I would be genuinely happy if I had a very simple existence, off the grid, growing my own food and raising animals to help sustain us. Maybe I was born in the wrong time?

Late to the party, and perhaps off topic or too academic, but this struck a chord.

Humans are over-evolved, or rather, their cultures are. You (as in one) could have an extended and robust discussion on just what should be the ideal population of a society to promote the healthiest population: in terms of common identity, economics and under/ over-employment, crucially I think for you balancing over- and under- specialisation in economies.

I can make any subject complicated, but I think you are suffering as so many of us are from having too active a brain that is actively under-employed, in a very large connected world -globalised in fact - that can summon up everything needed for survival using as few people as possible, many of whom are located on the far side of the globe. You have not got access to meaningful employment in short. No wonder so many of us are having extended periods of ennui. We are a species adapted to use intelligence and problem solving skills on a daily basis in order to survive. Our evolutionary purpose is to explore and adapt, and the majority of us are prevented from that by size and increasingly rigid social hierarchies. The latter occur regularly through our history, and then they collapse into the simpler existence you mention.

If you want to try some study to give your brain some activity, you could try the history of humanity - covering all periods from our evolutionary purpose through the creation of economic specialisation and the building of modern globalised economies. Libraries can still support it, just about, if you’ve got access to any.

Also I’ve noticed that the more things go online and abstracted, the more people are absolutely craving the interaction with the physical. Plain old simple mechanics fascinate people. One of our ancestors was named Homo Habilis! Find something to do with your hands therefore. If you can find one of the charities wanting crafty work you’ll hit many birds with one stone.

@MayYouLiveInInterestingTimes

Also I’ve noticed that the more things go online and abstracted, the more people are absolutely craving the interaction with the physical. Plain old simple mechanics fascinate people. One of our ancestors was named Homo Habilis! Find something to do with your hands therefore. If you can find one of the charities wanting crafty work you’ll hit many birds with one stone.

Thanks for the MayYouLiveinInterestingTimes!

I'm not sure about the OP but that has really helped me.

Would you say this fits into the idea that there is no specific 'point' to life except to get to know the world and to use your brain to problem solve within it? There's plenty to enjoy, to learn and problems to solve though.

*that, not 'the'

I have no idea what the point of it is. I've tried everything I can to make it meaningful for the last 40 years, volunteering, doing medical work in the NHS, religion. Nothing makes any sense. I wouldn't care if I died tomorrow.

I've been siting here in tears all morning asking myself the same thing..
I have everything built up inside and can't even say everything I feel but I feel like eveything is consuming me at the moment.
Was meant to be going out with dp and kids to enjoy the lovely weather but am now in my room upset and my mood has pretty much ruined it for us to go out even tho I know iambu.

Inneedoflifeadvice “ Would you say this fits into the idea that there is no specific 'point' to life except to get to know the world and to use your brain to problem solve within it?” well I would, because that’s pretty much my belief.

@Whosaidcake I am sorry to hear that, the weather is beautiful where I am today! Where is everyone else? I would say that at such times it is vital to try even harder to ignore yourself for a moment, get everyone together and get out anyway. Reduce the aims and planning but just start being active. Just go to a park or something - young kids will always enjoy that. It can be like fighting the grip of a black hole sometimes even without others to consider.

Essentially the fact that we are here is just because of a prolonged string of random accidents. Some people realise this, others don't have the imagination to. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to enjoy life and find ways to make ourselves happy, it's just that in doing so we are acting to make our time alive better and not for any grand masterplan of the universe.

I agree with this. There really is no point to life OP other than reproduction. I definitely think of myself as a mammal with no more importance than any other creature. I just try to get through as happily as I can.

I find the Stoics very useful - This Book is great

I feel like this and am in my 50s. It's not necessarily depression.

I have periods where I feel like this. Kids, parents, me stuck in the middle sacrificing all my wants for others peoples. It just seems so dull at times. 90% of the time it is.

I feel the same. I think I am worse because of covid but I have thought this for a while now. I try to discuss it with my OH but he thinks I am just fed up. I am fed up, nothing interesting to do, I love the great outdoors but need something else. I can't stand all this mask wearing and seeing everyone like this. I also would not particularly care of I got hit by a bus and dies instantly. There is no meaning to my life, I just exist I suppose!

I feel I am here to give my son the best life I can (adopted) and to support my family as a whole

What on earth do people think is the point of life? There is no point to it. Is there any point to a beetles life or an oak trees life? We are just the same as they are. We do what we do while we are here and then we are not here and 30 years later no one even remembers us. I have no reason to think you are depressed op. Sensible I would say. Take your happiness were you can, be it family, lattes, holidays, cats...And one day it will stop and that's it. And we are really not very important!

YANBU. Every day just feels like a drag to get through, it's made bearable my things like nice food , wine, experiences, but if I had none of those then there wouldn't be much point.
I get some pleasure from my job helping others who are distressed, but yes if I wasn't there someone else would just do it.
Things get worse as you get older, I dread getting old or being in pain, or seriously ill. When you die, no one really acknowledges all the effort you made for others. Unless you do something really amazing with your life you are insignificant to anyone apart from close family.
We spend all our lives accumulating stuff, property, money but it's all pointless, you don't take anything with you when you die.

Life doesn't have a meaning. We are essentially animals, we live, we reproduce and we die. Getting caught up looking for 'meaning' is a waste of time.

I have kids and I just feel like I've brought them selfishly into the world to run the same meaningless treadmill.

Try to find something you enjoy doing and live for that. I enjoy my kids and I enjoy eating chocolate and curry! I like watching subtitled dramas and sitting by the sea. Nothing life changing but it makes me happy.

I think we are here to simply experience life,.good, bad and everything in between, and it's up to us what we make of it.
I don't think about life having a purpose as such, it owes us nothing,.

I feel like this quite a lot and I’m a counsellor! Maybe it’s time for you to review your life and make some changes if possible. Sometimes I feel like things are pointless when I’m bored and I find learning something new can help to revitalise you. The restrictions of lockdown don’t help at all but maybe you can do some planning for the future. Also keeping a gratitude diary can help - studies show that it can actually change the grey matter in your brain! Good luck!

I don't know anymore.

I've been kind, trustworthy and helpful all my life, always helped people where I can, been supportive.

What has it got me?

Cheated on, lied to, manipulated and stabbed in the back. I don't want to turn into something I'm not but I just don't see the point anymore of being kind when everyone uses it against me.

@Stormwhale

skirk64

You have nailed it there. I constantly compare us humans to animals, and cant work out why we bother. I would quite like to be a koala. They are so intrinsically stupid, they would never feel like this. I feel like ignorance would be incredibly peaceful.

I've found a freedom in embracing "so what?"

So I couldn't sleep and was awake until 4am. So what? I wasn't upset watching a dvd I was smiling and content. I napped in the afternoon when I should have been awake. So what? I needed to sleep, I slept, I felt better for it. Life didn't go as planned. So what? Would I have been happier if it had? I look around at others with a more conventional life, bitching and moaning and spending/drinking their way to happiness and suspect not. If I spent all my money on shoes but the rent is paid and there's food in the fridge. So what? It wasn't sensible. And? Will the world cave in? No. If I don't wear the shoes but get pleasure from looking at them, does it mean I shouldn't have bought them*?

*According to who? Society? So what? Who invented society? Who even knows what decisions I've made if I don't tell anyone? Nobody. So who, exactly, is judging me? And if I do tell someone and they judge me, so what?

However limited your life, you have choices. If you can truly understand that, it makes things a little easier. Reminds me of a poem/quote from somewhere that goes something along the lines of: chain my legs and bind my hands, take me where I cannot stand, you can't hurt me, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.

@Sideorderofchips

I don't know anymore.

I've been kind, trustworthy and helpful all my life, always helped people where I can, been supportive.

What has it got me?

Cheated on, lied to, manipulated and stabbed in the back. I don't want to turn into something I'm not but I just don't see the point anymore of being kind when everyone uses it against me.

Oh yes, with bells on! So, be kind to yourself first of all. Give the others what's left over. Easier said than done, I know.

I feel that at the moment. My life is just grief and poverty. Every day that I wake up I wish I hadn’t.

@SevenAndMe

I feel that at the moment. My life is just grief and poverty. Every day that I wake up I wish I hadn’t.

My life is also grief and relentlessness with a child who has autism. Yes, he's still up. There's not a day I wake up that I'm glad to be here. Really sick of all this and there's no way out. You are not alone. .