To think the male GP just mansplained?

[FuckingFabulous]

I have called today to speak to a GP because for the last eight months I've been having an issue with my periods. Rather than a light to medium flow for five days , I've been having a light flow for five, a crazy heavy flow for one abs then back to light for three days. And I mean crazy heavy. I know many women have it worse but on that day I'm changing super plus tampons every 40 minutes and waking up absolutely flooded three times a night. I feel light headed and trembly on this day and the two days after too, and I get a lot of sparkly/flashing lights in my vision for about a week after.

So. GP. I called the GP when the second period was like it and was told to monitor it for six months. By a male GP, just in the interest of full disclosure. I called again today. And the GP told me I should consider myself lucky that the full eight days aren't like it and what I need to realise about the menstrual cycle is that all women have a varied cycle and sometimes it's extremely heavy and sometimes it's extremely light. It's all normal. I said I didn't find it normal to be bleeding through super plus protection in under an hour, despite it only being a 24-36 hrs event in my monthly cycle. I use more protection in that one day than I do in the seven others! And the feeling of being so light headed for days and the visual aura make me feel unsafe to drive. I explained that I literally go wobbly and start to get that darkening at the edge of my vision so need to put my head between my legs, multiple times a day. He sighed and said "oh, I'm afraid it's part of the trials of being female. You'll get used to it. There's nothing I can suggest except take yourself to bed with a hot water bottle or go out for a jog."

What. The .Fuck?! Firstly, I'm a mother of three and can't just fuck off to bed. Go out for a jog when I'm bleeding like I just gave birth?? And I've been having periods for 25 years- I know what they are! Get used to it, indeed.

I'm so annoyed. Years ago I had Mefanemic acid or something similarly named for heavy bleeding, but apparently now there's "nothing" and I'm to just appreciate that it's not for the full eight days.

AIBU to be pissed with his attitude?

He needs reporting and quickly before he misses a serious medical condition, what an utter utter twat.

I'm livid in your behalf, I have endometriosis so took 7 years to get heard, I ended up self referring privately even the female GPs don't listen as they should.

But what you are having yes could be peri menopause, could be fibroids, could be anything!

Anything that's not "normal" for you needs investigation, tests, solutions and care and attention.

Sounds so debilitating and exhausting, imagine if you were bleeding out of any other place on your body!!

One tact I did use successfully with this type of GP was asking if he would give his wife or daughter the advice he's just given me.. that tells you everything.

@dopenguinsdance

Very sympathetic OP and no, you're probably not wrong. I'm increasingly frustrated by the lack of interest/expertise from GPS on all sorts of issues, but particularly on women's health. If I hear 'what do you want me to prescribe/who do you think I should refer you to?' once more I will lose my rag. I can't decide if they're ignorant, lazy or just not interested in women patients at all. There's a worrying level of indifference and misogyny in the medical profession imo.

This. Most GPs I have seen have been arrogant and ignorant. We have one fantastic female GP at our surgery, appointments with her are like hen's teeth. A GP started a AMA thread on here last month. Turned out to be, "AMA, but I won't actually answer anything". She posted a couple of answers about her training and her brilliant attitude towards her patients , and then disappeared when people started asking hard questions about gynae and mental health and the attitude of GPs as a whole towards women and any conditions unique to women. Clearly she was expecting fawning praise for her dedicated service , (for which she will be handsomely overpaid), not to be asked about the integrity of her profession.

Oh, and always see any doctor with a notepad and pen and take detailed notes of everything they are saying. Read it back and ask them to confirm that this is what they have said to you. Ask them to confirm their advice, as you have recorded it, will be on your medical records. If they are hostile to you taking notes, that tells you everything you need to know about them.

Outrageous behaviour from your GP, OP. I hope you take others' advice and seek help elsewhere. Be well.
After TTC for several months I contacted my GP and it sounded very much like he was reading from a script. When explaining when I needed to go for the progesterone blood test he mused that I would obviously have no idea if / when I had ovulated. I told him I'd been tracking my basal body temperature and using ovulation prediction kits so I have a fairly good idea. He cut me off as I was speaking to say "yeah...you obviously won't know" as if the months and years of getting to know my own body was completely useless and it's all a great big mystery. Reassuring.

Providing he's not the senior partner at the practice (and I have a sneaky suspicion he might be), ask to see the senior partner and awfully nicely explain what this chap a'hole advised you to do but you would like some further advice and a referral because you know this isn't right for you and you would like it noted that you would like further investigations and for anything more serious to be discounted.

I imagine you will be referred as a result and you will also have drawn to the senior partner's attention why you are concerned and what your concerns are.

FWIW I once saw a lady GP well into her 40s for a blood pressure check a HRT repeat. She actually said "well, when you wind down at work or stop working you might not need HRT any more". I was about 54. When I said "as I have a professional role and love my job I will not be giving it up and every woman whether they work or not is entitled to the best possible treatment to have the best possible quality of life." She went bright red, stuttered a bit and apologised.

When I was newly diagnosed with osteoporosis and had a slow healing broken foot, I saw a male GP who suggested the best thing I could do was weight bearing exercise like running. At least he laughed when I said "what on my broken foot?"

Prats.

Ask to see your full medical records, call the practice out on any mistakes and make a note of any acronyms and then get the practice to give you a translation. There's innocuous official ones like these patient.info/doctor/abbreviationsand then there are the ones that doctors use and let slip messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms.htm, and then are the pearlers I could tell you about but which would probably get the thread shut down.
It's astonishing and downright frightening to see the potentially life-threatening mistakes and fuck twattery assumptions that doctors record as fact.

That’s horrendous. I hope you can see someone else and sort it out.

I saw a female GP a few years ago when I’d worked up the courage to ask about the tearing I was having during sex at my perineum, I’d tried lubes etc. but was at the end of my tether. I explained and she stared at me and said ‘what do you want me to do about it?’ She didn’t want to examine me and just wrote a prescription for hydrocortisone (which did nothing). She couldn’t have been less interested and actually sighed as I was explaining the pain.

She made me feel I was making a fuss for saying I was finding it difficult to have sex because I was either tense or in pain. Whether she thought I should accept the pain or give up sex I’m not sure. I cried after that appointment, only time I’ve ever done that and it took me several more months to want to see another GP who was thankfully really helpful.

That is awful treatment in this day and age.

I would ask for a different GP. If there are no female GPS in your practise I think you can ask for a referral. Perhaps the Practice Nurse would be an alternative.

I had this when a bit older than you. I had about three days heavy. GP ( lovely woman) considered peri menopausal and tested me for it ...yep!
The worse thing was my male Boss hauled me in for a pattern over the year had me missing work three times on a Monday. When I mentioned it was period related it was all ‘cough cough see W.’
I saw W who after discussion told me I should be on HRT. No sympathy from the woman at all. I told my GP who was furious
” And what medical qualifications does SHE have?” GP wanted to phone her and although I would have loved that the repercussions would have been worse. I was scared to go out on those days and I had four kids and DH worked away so like you no chance of going to bed as much as I would have liked that some days. It really is awful. You have my full sympathy. The plus points, as GP predicted, was that I sailed through the Menopause after three years of peri menopausal. I was completely finished with periods by 45 and it is one thing I don’t miss!

I hope you find a way through and be kind to yourself on those days pre cook or ready meal to feed everyone /easier day bed early. 💐good luck.

I have every sympathy, OP, and echo what everyone else has said - YANBU.

There's a certain type of male GP who thinks women presenting with any condition, of any sort, are simply making a fuss, and taking up his valuable time. (I recently contacted my GP about something, and got a text to "take a paracetamol". I'm already on opioid pain medication, for fucksake - what does he think a paracetamol will do?! And this is SOP from him, so I am looking for a new GP.)

Change in bleeding to heavier usually needs investigation by examination, smear, swab +/- ultrasound scan. Tranexamic acid can be used on the worst days of bleeding, depending on the cause. It's not really something you need to "put up with".

As others have said, see another doctor. Women's health care is a total crap shoot under our primary care system. It can be hit and miss even at specialist level especially when you factor in the low priority given to many gynae conditions, including those leading to long term conditions.

I would also complain about being mansplained/fobbed off and told another variant of "its a woman's lot".

Until you get appropriate treatment/medication take ibuprofen on your heavy day - if you can predict it take it the day before as it helps reduce the bleeding.

Side note you mustn't take it with tranexamic acid and likely the other one further up the thread suggested.

@MojoJojo71

Disgraceful. I’d write a letter of complaint and point him in the direction of the NICE and RCOG guidelines which define heavy menstrual bleeding as ‘excessive menstrual blood loss which interferes with a woman's physical, social, emotional and/or material quality of life’. You meet those criteria and deserve proper care. Patronising prick.

Ugh yes complain. Explain mwnstrual bleeding is normal but extremely heavy menstrual bleeding is not and because this is a womens issue you got the impression any variation was dismissed by the gp when a patient losing substantial amounts of blood for another reason would be a serious issue. You provided enough evidence that this is outside the range of normal, that menstrual products are not adequate to manage it, and that you have 25 years of experience of your own periods to compare and were told to go for a jog. Pregnancy and birth are also quite normal conditions that kill people, does he also recommend patients go for a jog rather than provide medical care?

I am all for the NHS. God forbid I had a car accident or had cancer etc.

But my god for day to day minor issues they are flipping awful.

Save yourself a headache and just go private. Consultations probably between 100-300. You may already have health cover somewhere - work, house insurance, bank etc.

They may just write you a prescription there and then (which are often less than the NHS prescription cost), and if the scans are too expensive they can refer you directly to NHS scans or specialists

My DD had similar issues and was diagnosed with endometritis but I am not sure if you can get it later in life, she was 15 when she was diagnosed. Do you get really painfull periods as well as heavy? Like another poster said it could also be Fibroids, I hope you get a proper diagnosis and change your useless GP

@Jenasaurus you can get endometriosis at any age even post menopause, it's a misconception that it's related to periods, it's an inflammatory all body chronic condition that points to the fact we are born with it as they have found endometriosis cells in embryos. The various hormones will trigger the flare up and symptoms but stopping periods etc is just pushing the disease down the road and masking its spread.

The best and gold standard for treatment is wide excision surgery, yet another massive failure on the NHS who think it's acceptable to burn (ablation) the cells inside women.

It's actually a fascinating condition vastly under researched, as common as diabetes and bastard painful.

Disgraceful treatment. You must get an appointment with another doctor.

You def need blood test. If you have 1 autoimmune disease you could have another like premature ovarian insufficiency/failure. Please go back

Ffs women are still treated in medicine as if they were a kook in 17th century Salem.
I half expect to be prescribed a calendar of the cycle of the moon, sometimes. I'd press immediately for a second opinion. Just forget the first doctor, he's treated you as if you've only just started menstruating when in reality your symptoms changing vastly after years of menstruating is very significant. Blood tests and if nothing is picked up and it continues then scans. You need to be under the care of a gynaecologist if this carries on. Don't be deterred by rudeness as you are likely to encounter a lot of it for having the audacity to complain about issues related to being female!

With gps like that you really want to say when you have periods then you can tell me what is normal. Argh!
I'd get referred to gynae to have a transvaginal scan to see if you have polyps or fibroids. This is what causes my heavy periods.

@mrwalkensir

had similar chat with young female gp - not necessarily mansplaining

I was once told that my 3 week, heavy periods were ‘still within normal range’ and didn’t require treatment or investigation by a female GP. When I became pregnant with my ds and my routine bloods showed that I was severely anaemic. The midwife who saw me called me at work and insisted that I had to leave immediately to see her that day was appalled and said that she couldn’t believe I had managed to even get out of bed when my levels were so low.

This doctor is clearly clueless, but unfortunately some female doctors are equally so.

I had the coil fitted and took some tablets to control bleed after this was fitted for similar reasons I understand this wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but try leaving and working under those circumstances . Also a mother too .

Excuse my language but what a sexist twat. 100% mansplaining. I once had a Doc tell me my hair was falling out due to over-styling it (I'm a scruff, I don't even own a hairdryer), and another tell me I was fainting as "women get emotional". Turned out I had a bad thyroid problem. Pricks

OP - My sister (late 40s) is having something very similar and has been told my her non-twat Doc that it's menopause related.

My advice - complain about the sexist Doc and see another one asap. What you're going through is definitely not right. I hope you get it sorted soon.

Omg I’d be raging OP.

Some good advice upthread. Second opinion pronto, Gynae referral and a complaint to practice. And GMC. For good measure. That GP needs re-training and I would say also supervised practice.

I have endo and some personal experience of being fobbed off for similar stuff (‘have another baby, that will sort it out’ type thing) so I have a low threshold but this is beyond ridiculous.

Hope it’s sorted soon x

YANBU to complain about his attitude but YAB a bit U to make it about his sex (or imply it might be because he was a man). In my experience of GPs and this kind of problem, female GPs were no better. Very much go away, grit your teeth and get on with it. Unfortunately the state of health services for women is not what it should be. The Government is actually doing a public consultation right now on women’s health priorities - please do fill it out.

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/womens-health-strategy-call-for-evidence?utm_campaign=talk-womens-health&utm_medium=o&utm_source=st&utm_content=