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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the male GP just mansplained?

291 replies

FuckingFabulous · 13/04/2021 18:31

I have called today to speak to a GP because for the last eight months I've been having an issue with my periods. Rather than a light to medium flow for five days , I've been having a light flow for five, a crazy heavy flow for one abs then back to light for three days. And I mean crazy heavy. I know many women have it worse but on that day I'm changing super plus tampons every 40 minutes and waking up absolutely flooded three times a night. I feel light headed and trembly on this day and the two days after too, and I get a lot of sparkly/flashing lights in my vision for about a week after.

So. GP. I called the GP when the second period was like it and was told to monitor it for six months. By a male GP, just in the interest of full disclosure. I called again today. And the GP told me I should consider myself lucky that the full eight days aren't like it and what I need to realise about the menstrual cycle is that all women have a varied cycle and sometimes it's extremely heavy and sometimes it's extremely light. It's all normal. I said I didn't find it normal to be bleeding through super plus protection in under an hour, despite it only being a 24-36 hrs event in my monthly cycle. I use more protection in that one day than I do in the seven others! And the feeling of being so light headed for days and the visual aura make me feel unsafe to drive. I explained that I literally go wobbly and start to get that darkening at the edge of my vision so need to put my head between my legs, multiple times a day. He sighed and said "oh, I'm afraid it's part of the trials of being female. You'll get used to it. There's nothing I can suggest except take yourself to bed with a hot water bottle or go out for a jog."

What. The .Fuck?! Firstly, I'm a mother of three and can't just fuck off to bed. Go out for a jog when I'm bleeding like I just gave birth?? And I've been having periods for 25 years- I know what they are! Get used to it, indeed. Angry

I'm so annoyed. Years ago I had Mefanemic acid or something similarly named for heavy bleeding, but apparently now there's "nothing" and I'm to just appreciate that it's not for the full eight days.

AIBU to be pissed with his attitude?

OP posts:
Monstermunch67 · 14/04/2021 21:04

Keep pushing them until you end up with someone who listens. Don't accept the 'get used to it' bs. It took 30 years for them to find my endometriosis, 25 years after I'd suggested it as my symptoms ticked all the boxes. Good luck.

ConfusedCarrie · 14/04/2021 21:19

I had similar. My period was light for a.day then super heavy (super+ tampon and night-time pad every hour to hour and a half). I am now on meds and bleed for about 5 days medium to heavy but manageable. Your GP is a dickhead. Demand an appointment to a gynaecologist. He cannot refuse you but he may try. Good luck x

MummyBearBoo · 14/04/2021 21:27

Think you can get traxamic acid now on prescription!
Don't let them fob you off though after a TFMR I started bleeding really heavy once a day but nothing else the rest of the day, after 2 weeks of this I went to the hospital where a male doctor told me I was wasting his time, was not a priority and to go home it's just a period! Two more weeks if this I was fainting went back to hospital did a blood test and found that I had half the amount if O2 in my blood, i had an arterial bleed in to my womb where my artery and vessels had fused together. I had to have an operation and blood transfusions. It's called uterine AVM and is extremely rare!

Juelz · 14/04/2021 21:37

You really need to go back to the Doctor, they need to investigate this further, possibly with. an Abdo & TV ultrasound, just to rule out any significant problems. Ask to be referred for an ultrasound in the first instance & if they find anything that needs further investigation, you will be referred to gynae. Good luck & please don’t leave this.

DebHagland · 14/04/2021 21:55

I used to have nightmare periods, very heavy and I was in bed curled up in a ball in agony popping ibruprofen washed down with gin, I went on contraceptive injections, heaven no periods.
Change your doctor, insist on seeing a woman doctor and get her to check you out properly, this man seems like an absolute pratt.

Whoopsmahoot · 14/04/2021 22:15

Change dr and get second opinion

failingmammalian · 14/04/2021 22:16

GPs are useless

We are such mugs

In other countries you’d be seeing a gynae

ThunderKidd74 · 14/04/2021 22:18

As a nurse, my advice would be go and see a family planning or specialised women's health nurse. Skip the middle man

ikeepseeingit · 14/04/2021 22:33

Holy shit your GP are useless! That doctor sounded very condecending, 'part of being a woman' CHRIST why the hell does he think you don't know what's normal for you after 25 years?!! It's like you saying you do a poo every day and one day in 7 they are explosive. It's not fucking normal! That amount of bleeding is in no way normal, you should not be flooding 3 times a night and you should not feel faint several times a day. They need to be checking you don't have anything else wrong with you and exploring why you are suddenly low in iron. It's not hard to put the two together.

Can you change GP OP? I would go further just to get away from that terrible practice. I'm really sorry they're not more helpful to you OP, the last thing you need is for them to be actively making more work for you while you're sick.

ERFFER · 14/04/2021 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Localocal · 14/04/2021 22:52

Please lodge an official complaint for the sake of other women who might go to him and have their legitimate concerns dismissed. And do see another GP about your periods.

I once went to my GP and said I had a urinary tract infection. He said "you're seven months pregnant - it's just the baby sitting on your a bladder." I said "This is my third baby and about my sixth UTI. I can tell the difference." He chuckled obnoxiously and refused to even test my urine. Two days later, blood in my urine, finally tested and found to have a UTI. I learned my lesson - see a female doctor for female problems.

EugenesAxe · 14/04/2021 23:09

YANBU - definitely ask for another doctor to review. I think if the change is enough to concern you they should check for anaemia/ fibroids/ endometriosis etc.

I knew someone who would lose clots of blood so big she would faint (this was at school age), and I had a period (age about 44) that was like what you describe but for 5-6 weeks, and they did check for fibroids in my case - in both cases though it wasn't due to anything discernible. So it is possible to be 'normal' and still lose loads of blood, but he should no way have been so dismissive and patronising. If it's a change they should check everything's OK.

Stilsmiling · 15/04/2021 00:12

Information about Perimenopause from a GP who specialises in Perimenopause and Menopause.

www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/

Mamanyt · 15/04/2021 00:55

You are absolutely justified in being outraged...but you need to talk about this with a female gynecologist. This may possibly be more "doctorsplaining" than "mansplaining," but done by someone who can't really have a clue. I'd want a specialist's opinion on this, and I'd want a specialist who at least knows what having a period entails, first hand!

Justilou1 · 15/04/2021 00:56

I am horrified on your behalf. That whole practice sounds messed up! I think having the NICE guidelines on hand would be very good. You shouldn't have to go through this!!! I'm so sorry!

TinselTinsel · 15/04/2021 01:15

@FuckingFabulous

I have called today to speak to a GP because for the last eight months I've been having an issue with my periods. Rather than a light to medium flow for five days , I've been having a light flow for five, a crazy heavy flow for one abs then back to light for three days. And I mean crazy heavy. I know many women have it worse but on that day I'm changing super plus tampons every 40 minutes and waking up absolutely flooded three times a night. I feel light headed and trembly on this day and the two days after too, and I get a lot of sparkly/flashing lights in my vision for about a week after.

So. GP. I called the GP when the second period was like it and was told to monitor it for six months. By a male GP, just in the interest of full disclosure. I called again today. And the GP told me I should consider myself lucky that the full eight days aren't like it and what I need to realise about the menstrual cycle is that all women have a varied cycle and sometimes it's extremely heavy and sometimes it's extremely light. It's all normal. I said I didn't find it normal to be bleeding through super plus protection in under an hour, despite it only being a 24-36 hrs event in my monthly cycle. I use more protection in that one day than I do in the seven others! And the feeling of being so light headed for days and the visual aura make me feel unsafe to drive. I explained that I literally go wobbly and start to get that darkening at the edge of my vision so need to put my head between my legs, multiple times a day. He sighed and said "oh, I'm afraid it's part of the trials of being female. You'll get used to it. There's nothing I can suggest except take yourself to bed with a hot water bottle or go out for a jog."

What. The .Fuck?! Firstly, I'm a mother of three and can't just fuck off to bed. Go out for a jog when I'm bleeding like I just gave birth?? And I've been having periods for 25 years- I know what they are! Get used to it, indeed. Angry

I'm so annoyed. Years ago I had Mefanemic acid or something similarly named for heavy bleeding, but apparently now there's "nothing" and I'm to just appreciate that it's not for the full eight days.

AIBU to be pissed with his attitude?

Hmm, he told you there was nothing, what a shit GP! Mefenamic acid and / or tranexamic acid can be prescribed for this (depending on your own medical circumstances! ) I feel for you, suffered myself for over 30 years with heavy painful periods.
TinselTinsel · 15/04/2021 01:22

@thenightsky

Bloody hell. YANBU. I never bother consulting my male GP about 'women's things' ever, after experiencing this sort of attitude. I go straight to the female Nurse Practitioner. She is far more helpful.
The last 3 doctors I have seen over my periods were men and all brilliant! The last was a doctor I had avoided for 10 years but he listened to everything I said and gave me what I asked for , no quibble (maybe the fact I am now older he didn't treat me like a prick lol) and now I no longer avoid him haha
lizbethb37 · 15/04/2021 07:08

YANBU - you need to push for another appointment with a female GP ASAP. I had similar and had to push for a few years until I got referred and had an endometrial ablation, which made a difference. Also complain to the practice. Your GP is wholey wrong with his ‘put up and shut up’ attitude. You do also sound anaemic with the light head feeling so need that in investigating. Good luck!

BananaSplitX · 15/04/2021 07:45

Of course you need to complain but more importantly you need to urgently get seen by a (different) GP and get a referral. I am nit a doctor but I had similar symptoms to yours and I had 3 fibroids size of an orange. It was fibroids bleeding and I had an operation etc etc. I would focus your energy in getting to a consultant and once you have done that, then go back to your GP and put in an official complaint. Good luck.

Pipsquiggle · 15/04/2021 10:45

Hi OP - YANBU. GP sounds like a knob. I have really, really heavy periods for about 2 days of my cycle. I did go to the GP about it - he was lovely, very young and put me on transamic acid which worked for a while but unfortunately have now reverted back. He also got me scanned for fibroids which were clear.

TMI warning - I get very big clots which essentially flood any form of sanitary protection I use, including menstrual cups and sanitary towels - both being used at the same time. I am assuming it's due to going into the peri-menapause.

The most important thing to get across to your GP is how it affects your life. He really sat up when I said I was a mum of 2 and didn't want to leave the house on the 2nd day of my cycle so it was affecting my life. I also told him I had had less intrusive miscarriages which is true. Tell your GP how your periods are affecting your life

bemusedmoose · 15/04/2021 16:04

honestly my whole period is like that one day so i feel your pain - everything is soaked, cant do anything because you have to be near a loo to change every hour - it's a massive pain in the arse! He's clearly an idiot - hot water bottles are for pain and you cant jog when bleeding like that especially as it's likely to make you pass out. Stupid advice, typical never had to deal with it man advice, dumbing down something as trivial when it isnt (seriously - if men had periods they would have invented decent products and probably have period leave from work!)

On a plus note - try a cup. It copes with even my heavy ones! (has measures on the side so you know how much you are losing) I change 15mls blood about 6-8 times a day. I got a sileu one and i have never gone back - no leaks, no soaked clothes, no ruined bed and a fab sleep. £10 for 1 and that last you 10 years! I was easily spending more than that per month.

Pipsquiggle · 15/04/2021 16:25

@bemusedmoose yes I have found menstrual cups much better than tampons and towels.

I use Merula XL which has a bigger capacity (50ml) and I have found to be a game changer for most of my period

ThisIsMyID · 15/04/2021 17:18

I have exactly what you described, OP so I saw my doctor and was in hospital less than two weeks later getting fibroids removed. Can you get another opinion? Or an internal scan with a gynecologist? You know you're not well. Check your blood for iron levels too - I needed an infusion.

Diverami · 15/04/2021 17:42

I suffered badly for years. I always had a male GP. I think, as a result of heavy bleeding, I suffered severely from iron deficiency - which left me weak and thinking I was hungry. As a result of eating too much, I put on weight and developed Diabetes Type 2. My gut suffered from my bad habits (IBS). Then I moved and got a female GP. I was about 50. She sent me to consultant and I ended up having a hysterectomy. I wish I had had it years earlier....a long story short. My anaemia made me stupid as well.

Anele22 · 15/04/2021 22:47

You can ask to be referred to a specialist. I would go back and say you’re very worried and think you need to see a gynaecologist. Would he please refer you.

Oh and if iron tablets mess with your tummy you can ‘gentle iron’ from Solgar

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