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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by message about washing my car

430 replies

21summers · 13/04/2021 13:42

Neighbour has sent me a (second) message asking us when we’re going to wash our car. We ignored the first message.

It’s not muddy or dirty. The alloys are still silver. It’s just dusty because car washes have been closed for months. They’re good neighbours otherwise. AIBU to be irritated and to think I can decide when I want to wash my own car that’s doing nothing to them except sitting outside on the public road (and it’s not parked in front of their house, it’s parked in front of ours).

OP posts:
Bitofanexpert · 14/04/2021 08:52

I really would love to have your neighbour’s problems and spare time in life Grin

Surely this is a misguided attempt at a joke from them?

Donotgogentle · 14/04/2021 08:54

@Hophopandaway

I can see your point and i would say you are not being unreasonable however this just highlights the general lack of care of modern Britain. people have just lost standards, I accept of you are disabled washing the car may be beyond someone however in the 80's I remember everyone washing their car each weekend in my estate and in the 60's when having a car was much rarer the pride in ownership caused them to be washed weekly. And actually get a cheeky smile from "I wish my wife was as dirty as this" scrawled in the mud on the back as a subtle reminder the car probably needs a clean. Really a filthy car is like having a filthy garden, or not showering or brushing ones hair. Also cars that are barely cleaned are often those maintained worse as people pay less attention to them. So no it was a bit much recieving a message however having a dirty car is like wearing unpolished shoes just not great standards and for a lot of people they will judge people for it.
I judge people who consider themselves entitled to impose their cleaning standards on other people a lot more.
longwayoff · 14/04/2021 08:59

O, please, women used to be assessed by nosy neighbours on whether or not they'd scrubbed their front doorstep and how white the result was. It's not a loss of standards that women now have better things to do. It's not a loss of standards if a car that does not belong to you is dirty. It is, regrettably, a sad loss to acceptable standards of behaviour that some people are so mannerless as to presume it's their duty to comment on how other people choose to live when it doesn't affect them. Crass beyond words.

RonSwansonsChair · 14/04/2021 09:01

@Bitofanexpert

I really would love to have your neighbour’s problems and spare time in life Grin

Surely this is a misguided attempt at a joke from them?

I would have said maybe you're right Bitofanexpert, but then I read Hophopandaway's post and I fear it's legit!
EverythingRuined · 14/04/2021 09:09

Lol, I think your neighbours are teasing you. 😂😂. The fact that you have had to ask in AIBU if you are being unreasonable shows that you are gullible and someone who can be teased.

YouAreYourBestThing · 14/04/2021 09:43

Oh god, I've never washed any car I've ever owned 🤣 (until the day before I've taken it back to the garage in p/x 👍)

LadyHedgehog · 14/04/2021 09:53

@TiggeryBear

I'm reasonably sure the dirt is holding my car together 😬🤣 I wish I was joking... ☹
We had to get a new car when we cleaned the old one before its MOT and the rust that was basically holding the whole car together started coming off. Pretty sure it would have failed its MOT anyway, but still...
DenisetheMenace · 14/04/2021 09:54

Bloody cheek. They really need to get a hobby.

BorisandHarriet · 14/04/2021 09:57

@FelicityPike

Wow they would hate me. My car gets washed by the rain!
Same. And it’s still dirty. But I don’t really care as long as it’s safe to drive.
HappydaysArehere · 14/04/2021 11:06

They don’t have enough to do. So give them a sponge etc and thank them for the offer.

SnoopyOnALude · 14/04/2021 11:10

tell them they are welcome to wash it if they are that bothered.

BadLad · 14/04/2021 11:17

@Longdistance

Mine is covered in bird shit from my work place. Do you want me to park outside your neighbours house? Grin
Isn't bird shit really bad for a car's paintwork, because of the acidity? Or have I been believing an urban myth?
RandomLondoner · 14/04/2021 11:26

It is, regrettably, a sad loss to acceptable standards of behaviour that some people are so mannerless as to presume it's their duty to comment on how other people choose to live when it doesn't affect them.

Everything someone sees may affect them, however they generally only have the right to change the things they own.

bookworm1632 · 14/04/2021 11:34

Write back and ask if they're offering - say what a wonderful gesture and how much you'd appreciate it if they cracked on and would they do the interior as well.

HoppingPavlova · 14/04/2021 11:40

I would respond ‘Hi (neighbour), I take it you are commencing up a car washing business and after start-up clients. Are you running this out of home or another location now Covid restrictions are lifting? How exciting! We have no plans to wash in the near future so let us know the location and we’ll swing by and support you, happy to do so. Thx 21summers.’

HoppingPavlova · 14/04/2021 11:40

No idea what the ‘up’ is doing there.....

JustSleepAlready · 14/04/2021 11:45

Ignore. Cheeky feckers!!!

Ifixfastjets · 14/04/2021 12:02

My reply would be
" it's not dirt, it's a high tech anti glare coating "
Which is what my teen writes in my dust!

thetemptationofchocolate · 14/04/2021 12:46

I will wash mine when it goes for the MOT test, but other than that I don't bother. And if any of my neighbours asked me when I was going to wash it I'd laugh at them.
But I doubt they would because my neighbours are not as rude as yours are, OP.

timeforanewnameagain · 14/04/2021 13:01

Oh talking of washing a few posts back, my FIL once came out whilst I was hanging mine out on the line and offered to show me how to hand it correctly. I am a 36 year old mother of two married to a man who plays sports twice a week. I know how to hang washing out, I do enough of it thank you very much!!

I had to stop him when he was quite insistent and went to un peg my pants! He was going to show me 'optimal drying positioning' apparently!! No! I don't even want my FIL to see my knickers let alone touch them. Argh.

timeforanewnameagain · 14/04/2021 13:06

Oh and I literally never wash my car. DH might take it to the car wash twice a year, if that. I don't usually notice it's dirty until moss starts collecting on the window ledges! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Justilou1 · 14/04/2021 13:34

Mine’s going in for a service tomorrow. It will come back fully derailled. Where I live in Aus we have fruit bats (flying foxes) that shit copiously. They’ve got their work cut out for them!

crosstalk · 14/04/2021 14:02

I have pet spiders in mine - and webs outside between wing mirrors and car. There's a whole ecosystem that would be destroyed if I cleaned it. And round here it's so agricultural that the world would flood if farmers cleaned mud off their Hiluxes. The only things I clean are the number plates since it's illegal otherwise.

RonSwansonsChair · 14/04/2021 16:41

Pretty sure I've got moss on mine at the moment Blush

NoGoodPunsLeft · 14/04/2021 16:53

@Quincie

Just tell them you're doing it as soon as - people are so petty 'how dare they' bla bla bla - what a cheek!!!!

Whats wrong with being nice to people but no - let's be dfiant - we'll show them even though theyre the neighbours you need to get on reasonably with for a pleasant life.

But what does it have to do with the neighbours???? It isn't their car, it is literally none of their business when it gets washed
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