Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

@Rangoon

If they are not fat, then they are eating the right number of calories. You do understand that if you reduce the amount of calories they are eating they will lose weight. Now you can maybe change the composition of their diets and stop them taking the 9 year old's food but unless you want them to lose weight you have to keep that calories intake up. This is just science so I think you are being unreasonable. Now I would be saying something different if they were fat when they would be overeating but that doesn't sound like the problem. I guess you could delegate shopping duties to them with a strict shopping list.

There is no suggestion of making them go hungry - just making them realise that eating ALL of the "nice" stuff and leaving nothing for anyone else, is greedy and unacceptable.

OP has nowhere said that she doesn't want them to eat - just that they need to learn not to take everything, not to stuff themselves with rubbish before a meal so that they can't eat the nourishing food she prepares, and when they are cooking, to think about portion sizes when they cook for themselves so that there isn't a lot of waste. I don't think that this is unreasonable.

Thing with the cereal like Krave is it just doesn't fill you up for benefit.

A prime example is usually I have porridge for breakfast. That takes me through until lunchtime.

This morning I had GF honey nut loops. 50g portion as I'd have a 50g portion of porridge. By 11am I was really hungry and had a cheese and ham toastie and a Cadbury caramel egg.
Usually for lunch I'd have rice cakes, soft cheese, ham and pepper/grapes.

I'm not hungry now because I've eaten that but whereas I'd usually have my dinner at 6pm I know by 4.30 I'll be hungry again.

We are having steak, chips and salad which will fill me up adequately until breakfast if eaten at 6.

It's not about amount but what nutrition it has.

It's like when you go to Macdonalds and feel lovely and full and satisfied for about an hour

I resorted to sending them to the Co-op.
Every single time, twice on some days.
Even now one DC will clear the cupboards, lucky he works for Tesco or he'd still be bobbying off down the stores.
It's selfishness.

If they're constantly snacking (on whatever for this example) I would be seriously pissed off if they didn't then eatvtheir main meal. DS1 has does this a couple of times when he's had a KFC in town mid afternoon and then doesn't want his tea, or eats the nice bits but then is too full for the potatoes and veg 😐

I've got 2 teenage boys and most of the time, they do still ask for food before eating it. Or that'll ask what time we're eating lunch/tea so they know what they can fit in before then. I'm quite a lax parent but just think it's polite to ask if you can eat something before tucking in!

Also - 'tis diabetes in a bowl if they continue eating high-sugar, low-nutrition items they way they are now.

Peoples shopping does need to adjust with teens. The food shop that fed 2 adults and 3 smaller children won’t do for 2 that have become teens.

Yes, it’s widely known that teens, especially boys eat people out of house and home. They can often keep going with seconds and thirds and more and still be skinny twigs. They can eat half a loaf an hour before dinnner and still eat their big meal. I’d they see a packet of biscuits they might find they’ve eaten them all without intending to.

Parents need to adjust shopping and need to provide bigger meals and suitable snacks.

That’s not the same as saying teens, because of their larger appetites can eat all of the treats designed for the family and lose any sense of other people and their needs. It doesn’t mean they should think it’s fine to cook a Bolognense at midnight meaning there won’t be any mince for the dinner tomorrow.

Op clearly HAS had conversations about snacking and food that is available to these teens. Perhaps she does need to make bigger meals (although it sounds like they don’t eat the portions they take) and provide snacks they can freely eat in larger quantities, BUT she should still be able to buy treats and snacks for the entire family and be able to expect to explain how long things should last or what to amount there is for each person if these special things, and expect it to be adhered to. It’s not rocket science is it?

It reminds me of a friend I had whose DD had an issue with things like this. Friend had special bubble bath for Christmas...her big treat. The DD and family had plenty of bubble bath and friend told her DD that this was her special present stuff and she wanted to use it herself. The DD used over half of it in about 2 baths. Even at 17 she still went into her Mums room and would fiddle with her stuff and take makeup or shoes. She would rummage in cupboards looking for things like Easter eggs which my friend had to hide....and if she found them, she would eat them. And she would often lie about doing these things. Now is there someone who can say there is a name for this kind of behaviour? Perhaps it’s a recognised special need? It’s not acceptable though is it as general behaviour from teens and I don’t think we could suggest it’s normal or acceptable behaviour that we should just say ‘oh teens, they do that, it’s fine’ do you?

Ugh Bain of my life, my teenagers have lunch in the school canteen but my 9yo likes a packed lunch. I'll go shopping at the weekend and by Monday afternoon the two teens have eaten everything Ive bought for the week for packed lunches. Wtf. I'll tell them not to but DS16 'forgets' and also eats 5 pepperami's in one sitting with 2 packets of crisps, a couple of cheesestrings and a whole punnet of cherry tomatoes. I've actually started hiding tomatoes (amongst other things)

@JensonsAcolyte

Are people really missing the point about the fucking 100g thing?

I made them each a box with the remaining sugary cereal from Sunday’s shop, I measured it out to be petty. DD came downstairs and I explained the concept, that this is what they have for the week but there’s plenty of other cereal, bread etc. and her first reaction was to eat the entire portion.

So? Its gone The end. You sound very controlling tbh

I have this problem with my 2 oldest. I have DS17, DS15 and DD11. I’ve had seriously considered getting a lock for the fridge but I don’t want DD11 to have huge hang ups about food, so I haven’t (yet).
This is what I do:
Constant lectures and reminders about only eating ‘your fair share’, I have used the word greedy too, when the behaviour clearly has been.
I now buy none of the worst binge foods, no Nutella ever (gets eaten in 1 day), no biscuits (multiple packets get hoovered up in minutes), no Pringles or chocolates ‘to have in’ ever. If I want chocolate I buy 1 bar at a time, and keep it in my handbag until I’m ready to eat it.
No fizzy pop - after an all time low of 8 litres guzzled in 24hrs last week. I buy cordial and milk.
The only fruit I buy now are apples and bananas. If they want to eat 3 apples in 1 go they can knock themselves out.
They can have unlimited toast and butter if they are hungry in between meals.

My solution was to buy small plastic bowls for cereal and the recommended weight fits in them perfectly without any room for extra. They can have one bowl. They then can help themselves to whole meal bread, eggs, yogurt and fruit/veg.
I try my best to not buy things with refined sugar as it really doesn’t keep you full. So there is no biscuits or sweets for my kids snack on. They can have home made popcorn, nuts, fruit, and things that are made with natural sugars like bear things and nakd bars.
I have started cooking more at dinner as my eldest will go back in the evening for another plate full - seems to be normal stage that teens go through.

At 17/18 I think they should know better than to gorge excessively when it means others won’t get any. I’d just tell them not to touch the krave cereal and if they want it then they will have to buy it with their own money.

YANBU - it's selfish of your two older children, and you're right to deal with that. It's good parenting.

Now you've done the tuck boxes, you need to follow-through. Your DD has chosen to eat all her sugary cereal in the first day; that's her choice. It just means she'll have to have non-sugary cereal for the rest of the week.

I would have made them replace the Krave from their allowance. Maybe write their allowances for next month up on the board, and dock them when you have to replace food (or send them to replace the food with your money). That way they can see the impact of the food cost.

@WombatChocolate

Peoples shopping does need to adjust with teens. The food shop that fed 2 adults and 3 smaller children won’t do for 2 that have become teens.

Yes, it’s widely known that teens, especially boys eat people out of house and home. They can often keep going with seconds and thirds and more and still be skinny twigs. They can eat half a loaf an hour before dinnner and still eat their big meal. I’d they see a packet of biscuits they might find they’ve eaten them all without intending to.

Parents need to adjust shopping and need to provide bigger meals and suitable snacks.

That’s not the same as saying teens, because of their larger appetites can eat all of the treats designed for the family and lose any sense of other people and their needs. It doesn’t mean they should think it’s fine to cook a Bolognense at midnight meaning there won’t be any mince for the dinner tomorrow.

Op clearly HAS had conversations about snacking and food that is available to these teens. Perhaps she does need to make bigger meals (although it sounds like they don’t eat the portions they take) and provide snacks they can freely eat in larger quantities, BUT she should still be able to buy treats and snacks for the entire family and be able to expect to explain how long things should last or what to amount there is for each person if these special things, and expect it to be adhered to. It’s not rocket science is it?

It reminds me of a friend I had whose DD had an issue with things like this. Friend had special bubble bath for Christmas...her big treat. The DD and family had plenty of bubble bath and friend told her DD that this was her special present stuff and she wanted to use it herself. The DD used over half of it in about 2 baths. Even at 17 she still went into her Mums room and would fiddle with her stuff and take makeup or shoes. She would rummage in cupboards looking for things like Easter eggs which my friend had to hide....and if she found them, she would eat them. And she would often lie about doing these things. Now is there someone who can say there is a name for this kind of behaviour? Perhaps it’s a recognised special need? It’s not acceptable though is it as general behaviour from teens and I don’t think we could suggest it’s normal or acceptable behaviour that we should just say ‘oh teens, they do that, it’s fine’ do you?

I adjusted by buying a lot of cheap noodles, always having hard boiled eggs in the fridge, cheese, cheap pasta and crackers.

Three meals a day...plus a full fruit bowl, eggs and cheese....that has to do them.

They can have a cracker with cheese (or 5) or peanut butter sandwiches but I don't ever buy crappy cereal....always got porridge and live yogurt and honey too.

Not quite in line with the thrust of OP's post but it drives me up the wall that DS2 (14!) is blind to the 'half' bit in 'half empty bottle of ketchup' .

@JensonsAcolyte

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

YANBU to expect some consideration about using large quantities of fresh ingredients or things bought specifically for another occasion. YABU to bin food that they've made; if there are leftovers, why don't you work your own meal plans round what has been left from a previous meal. In not doing so you are guilty of teaching them to waste even more food. Lead by example; use the egg fried rice in a stir fry while it's still fresh (heat it thoroughly), serve the cheese straws for lunch along with hummus and salad etc.

Wombat no one here would disagree about teenagers needing to be respectful and considerate of family,food or other items , to suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

I have this with DS (17).

He's thin but eats like an elephant.

Biscuits/cereal are his "snack" food of choice.

After various approaches I think I've cracked it....

I now only buy healthy cereal. He can have as much as he wants but interestingly it lasts a lot longer than if I buy "treat" cereal.

Biscuits I've stopped buying expensive ones and buy the supermarket own brand cookies for £1 a pack. I buy 2 a week and when they are gone that's it.

The game changer though has been embracing the quesadilla.....and the breakfast bar.

We'd got a bit trapped in a cycle of him stuffing himself silly after school after coming home starving (despite having breakfast and a substantial pack up), then not eating all his dinner and snacking again in the late evening.

So now I buy packs of flour tortillas, bags of grated cheese and packs of ham that I chop up and store in Tupperware.

When he comes home from school he can grab the frying pan, chuck in a tortilla, load it with cheese and ham, another tortilla on the top. Cook for a couple of minutes on both sides (dry pan so no washing up) and he's got a super easy/fast version of a cheese/ham toastie that's big enough to stop him being hungry but not enough to stop him eating dinner.

It also stops him eating all the sweet stuff which I also think was making him crave more.

Also I make a batch of Nigellas breakfast bars each week (they cook for an hour but I can make them in 5 minutes so really easy) and he can have these as snacks. You can vary the ingredients (he likes cherry and almond for example and I've done ones with chocolate chips and peanuts). They are tasty, filling and have some nutritional value unlike crap cereal (and prevents all the milk being used up)

www.nigella.com/recipes/breakfast-bars

I’m surprised so many people let the thing with the whole families treats being eaten in one go by one greedy teen, or the teen eating their way through all the packed lunch or even main meal items intended for the week ahead, happen more than a couple of times.

If mine did this, they would be in no doubt about my displeasure and that it wasn’t to happen again. I would also be ensuing a bigger supply of things that they would be told were fine to eat in unlimited quantities.

A teen might gorge on the weeks supplies of packed lunch materials or snacks once or twice without realising they were doing it or that it would impact others. But having had it explained to them once or twice and the food they could eat to their hearts content pointed out to them, continuing to do it again would suggest either wilful ignoring of the information or some kind of serious self control issue.

Which is it with these teens, after they have been told several times and unlimited supplies of food that they can eat when they want to provided? Is it wilful ignoring of the information about certain treats needing to be shared or certain foods needing to last the week, or is is that they have no self-control? Either strikes me as pretty worrying.

I really think the cereal is a complete waste of money. Just don't buy it. I know everyone else has already said it. It's not something the 9yo should have either. It's not filling and makes them hungrier because it throw their blood sugar out of whack. Same problem with crisps. It's easy to eat all the crisps.

I think the idea of buying small basics pizzas is a good idea. But even then they need to learn moderation. Frozen chicken nuggets and oven chips but get them to portion it out so cook the actual portion size. Not the whole bag.

Ì was starving as a teen. Dm wouldn't buy anything nice so I used to eat really wierd food. Raw noodles, raw shredded wheat, rub flour into butter like making pastry but then eat it! Insane. I was thin as well.

This takes me back ... my two are 30 and 28 don't now live at home but they definitely revert to this behaviour when they come round. Incapable of having a small glass of my "posh" orange juice. One carton will last me a week - DS2 will demolish it in one go. Likewise my small tub of favourite ice cream which lasts me about 4 servings. Gone in 1. They are ever hopeful of finding chocolate, biscuits and crisps. I still have a note stuck on the cooking chocolate container saying "do not even think about it". Note to self - DS2 coming round tonight so make sure to buy some bargain basement orange juice and cheepo chocolate.

"Thing with the cereal like Krave is it just doesn't fill you up"

Which is why for Op it's just used as a "topping".

I think it's the total thoughtlessness that would get to me.

Cooking food & not eating it, not eating food that has been cooked for them.

As a kid chocolate, biscuits was often just a treat for the weekend.

There wasn't an endless supply of stuff like that to just help yourself to.

If you were hungry there was fruit, maybe a couple of crackers & cheese.

If it was nearly meal time then you'd wait!

" I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta. "

yup normal for a teenager .. i cant keep enough bread in the house either .. it just gets devoured.

I have cut back on the junk I buy because my teen would hoover that up first. But when there is no junk its piles of toast. rolls and cheese 4 at a time , huge bowls of pasta , and yes cereal , bowls and bowls of cereal.

I dont grudge him any of this to be honest.. I dont think he would eat these types of food if he wasnt hungry.

And yes 1am does seem to be a particularly favourite time to start cooking !!

Bearnecessity, but there were people saying the teens were doing this because they were hungry. There were people suggesting OP didn’t give them enough food and this was why they then were sneaking down in the night to take their little brothers cereal which had been bought for him.

I can see that some teens suddenly need loads more food and find they are very hungry. Fine. It’s an adjustment for the whole family and everyone needs to understand how much they need, plus what they can eat freely in the house, and what isn’t available to them freely on a whim. It’s simply an adjustment if shopping, expectations and some food communication.

But some teens it seems aren’t willing or perhaps aren’t able to understand or to live within those guidelines of what they can feeely eat whenever they want food, and what is there for specific meals or to be shared.

This thread reminds me of one of the many reasons I’m now divorced. My exH would think nothing of consuming all the ‘treat’ food leaving nothing for the children and myself. He would scoff chocolate and whole packets of biscuits in the middle of the night. He even ‘stole’ the kid’s Easter eggs one year. If you’re that hungry make some toast FFS. It caused real issues when I went to make packed lunches for school only to find empty packets in the cupboard. Also completely soul destroying when you are on an extremely tight budget so the ‘just buy extra’ argument isn’t a viable option. Op, I’m not suggesting your DS/DD are anything like my ex but I totally get the inequity of the ‘treat’ food consumption and the entitled and selfish behaviour.
I also understand you can’t divorce your teenagers so I wish you luck with this one!

When it’s adults sneaking down to steal the kids sweets at night, it really sounds like disordered eating.

I’m sure with most teens, this selfish gobbling isn’t disordered eating, but when it starts to involve deliberately taking more so others cannot have it, hiding food for later and stealing food, it starts to sound like there are bigger problems that might need addressing.

That was my Austin really to Op. are the kids just selfish or have they got bigger problems that need considering?

Sorry haven't read the whole thread but I have two hungry teenagers in my house too and I just think your situation is really odd.

Not that they eat all the food. But that they think it's ok to just devour everything and leave nothing for any one else.

Your issue isn't that they are hungry teens, it's a lack of respect and thought for others.

Finishing their brother's cereal is just mean.
Polishing off ALL the milk, ALL the bread etc leaving none for anyone else is just rude.
Refusing to listen to you when you point out their behaviour and carrying on making shit tons of food they they don't eat is totally offensive and disrespectful.

If they did these things in a shared house their house mates would soon let them know it wasn't on.

I'd be furious, and I would let them know in uncertain terms. If it carried on I'd be saying get a job and buy your own.