Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

Lamb blossom, I fully agree. The behaviour is horrible and worrying. It’s the behaviour and treatment of others that’s worrying and not the food itself.

There is no suggestion of making them go hungry - just making them realise that eating ALL of the "nice" stuff and leaving nothing for anyone else, is greedy and unacceptable.

OP has nowhere said that she doesn't want them to eat

But she has said openly she's punishing them by giving them a tiny treat box and a couple of times she's talked gleefully about being petty.

I'm female and dont have any brothers so I can't offer any specific insight into this, but is this level of calorie intake/devouring of food/greed, even outside of treats (so bread, cereal, etc) something previous generations also had to the same extent? Were teenage boys always like this? I cannot imagine that average families up until the last 20 years would have had - or in many cases could have afforded - to buy food in such vast quantities. I feel almost ill reading some of the posts.

I understand OP, my house was a bit like this when I was living at home with my parents, although tbh they were the worst ones! .

My dad would stay up late and eat multiple chocolate bars, yoghurts etc and my mum would eat most of things like Magnums or anything sweet basically almost as soon as it arrived. Dad would do the shopping on Saturday and by Tuesday latest there would be none of the 'good' stuff left, or tbh any 'snack' food at all. It was annoying when you hadn't even had the chance to have one yoghurt (or whatever) and then they were all gone already.

I don't know what the answer is except not to buy snack food at all, or alternatively buy a reasonable amount but don't replenish until the next shop, that's what we did. Even though it does mean everybody suffers, there isn't really any other way because the more you buy, the more they will eat.

This is what I have to do now I live with my DP. We were spending so much money on replenishing stuff every few days because he'd gone through it all too quick, I just said to him in the end we're going to have to just agree to do a weekly shop and once it's gone, it's gone, unless it's really essential. It's worked out better .

I do totally appreciate your frustration though because it costs so much money and also your 9 year old obviously isn't in the same position as your older kids so not like he can fight for his share if they're eating it all while he's in bed.

"But she has said openly she's punishing them by giving them a tiny treat box"

So?

They still have access to food!

If they want more treats than they are given then they can go out & buy them!

Ive got 2 teen boys (13 and 16). Quite often the older one will just hoover up anything he fancies. I now ask each DS what 'treat' they would like for the week and to write it on my shopping list. If its not there, it doesn't get bought. When the shopping arrives that theirs to eat how they like - otherwise its toast, plain biscuits and fruit to snack on.

My 17 year old used to do that all the time and it drove me crazy too. Now I only buy “boring” cereal like cornflakes which takes him a bit longer to get through. When he wants “fancy” cereal like Krave he has to buy it himself. He stores it in his room to eat whenever he wants. He does have a part time job though so it’s not like I’m still indirectly funding it with pocket money!

@longsigh

Give each one a box/fridge shelf and they eat theirs and no one else's? My three had a snack box each!

This is a great idea. I am implementing this today

@itsgettingwierd

Thing with the cereal like Krave is it just doesn't fill you up for benefit.

A prime example is usually I have porridge for breakfast. That takes me through until lunchtime.

This morning I had GF honey nut loops. 50g portion as I'd have a 50g portion of porridge. By 11am I was really hungry and had a cheese and ham toastie and a Cadbury caramel egg.
Usually for lunch I'd have rice cakes, soft cheese, ham and pepper/grapes.

I'm not hungry now because I've eaten that but whereas I'd usually have my dinner at 6pm I know by 4.30 I'll be hungry again.

We are having steak, chips and salad which will fill me up adequately until breakfast if eaten at 6.

It's not about amount but what nutrition it has.

It's like when you go to Macdonalds and feel lovely and full and satisfied for about an hour

Yawn. Why do people not actually read what the the Op is saying?

They aren’t eating because they area’t not full. Op says they have made food which they have left.
They are eating because it’s what they fancy and is available.

But she has said openly she's punishing them by giving them a tiny treat box and a couple of times she's talked gleefully about being petty.

This is an entirely different thing to preventing them from having enough to eat.

Why shouldn't they be punished? They have a treat box (and tiny is appropriate, because treats are IN ADDITION to meals - not instead of). And why shouldn't she be "petty" if that's the only way to get through to them?

Personally, I don't think she is being petty - I think she feels petty because like many mothers, she has been made to feel guilty if she denies her children anything.

Learning to moderate their inappropriate behaviour is a life skill - it will do them good to learn it.

DS1 17 has cereal for breakfast, his fave is special K red berries (but the tescos own brand as the Kelloggs one is too sweet he says) - I buy two boxes of that a week, not expensive, and when it's gone its gone and he has toast. I also buy the tescos own trail mix and he adds that to it. Big bowl of that with full fat milk is filling.

Also I'm surprised at so many defending the teens on here and saying they're hungry, growing etc.

OP isn't starving them, there is plenty of other food in the house. At 17 and 18 they are MORE than old enough to understand they can't just eat all of the 'premium' cereal when there are others in the house. Neither of them needed 2 bowls in one go.

They are being massively inconsiderate and it's not on.

I get mine treats each on a Friday to keep in their rooms. When it's gone it's gone and there's also a shelf in the cupboard and fridge that they know they mustn't touch. No discussion, I've put it aside for a reason but everything else is free to have

@diddl

"But she has said openly she's punishing them by giving them a tiny treat box"

So?

They still have access to food!

If they want more treats than they are given then they can go out & buy them!

Exactly!!

It's not about them not being allowed to eat anything, it's about the fact that they are hoovering up all the snack/treat food straight away so no one else gets any at all.

They can eat anything else in the house but they won't because the cereal/snack stuff is easier!!!

Wasting food would annoy me. Get them into making smaller portions of stuff when they are cooking and get them to freeze leftovers.

More irritating is, that I would next time buy the fancy food in double quantities, which would get finsihed quickly as well. I then buy another double quantity, and then they WILL NOT TOUCH it anymore at all, for well past the use by date (could be months!)

Hey make their own dinner and you find that infuriating, God sake! I'd be ecstatic if my kids made their own dinners. If they eat pasta, cereal ect, let them eat it to their hearts content, eventually they'll get sick of it and eat proper foods.

I buy it and when it's gone it's gone - I have a secret stash of stuff for DD3's packed lunch - because they were eating all that as well - mine are 12, 16 and 18 (almost 17 and 19).

I also don;t cook for the oldest two much - they work they go out - it's a pain so they feed themselves - they are off to Uni next year so it's a skill they need!

I plan to visit and eat all their food, leave my pants on the floor and not wash my dishes

It’s the waste that would piss me off, not eating vast quantities, because thats what teens do. Buy fruit and veg, no krave type stuff until they show they won’t waste. And it’s mean to nick the small one’s share.

My son is a bit like this. I buy him separate treats (cheaper biscuits, healthy snack crisps, usual junk etc) and he knows they are his. Anything else he has to ask permission for, that's outwith the usual bread, ham, cheese etc that he's more than welcome to help himself too. Usually say yes to be fair but sometimes I'll say no and he's fine with it. I ration the ketchup too. One big bottle a month. He overloads everything with it. He's learning that if he tanks it in the first week he will go without so it's slowly learning to be a bit more frugal with it 😂

Gannets.

I would suggest a family meeting about the issues with each member putting forward their perspective. Then ask them what could be done to keep everyone happy. Make them part of the solution.

But are they overweight, OP? Why are you starving them? Why are you so meeeeeean?

It's like there are AIBU bots on here who didn't get the reading comprehension skills upgrade.

I don't have teens so my answer might be a tad idealistic but really one conversation needs to be had about respecting that their younger sibling also has a right to his share of the treats, so they either wake up to that or perhaps younger sibling's portion gets stored elsewhere. And another, gentler, conversation about food waste - so it's great that they're cooking but they either need to judge portion sizes a lot more carefully or be prepared to eat the same thing for x meals until they've finished it.

More generally I'd make sure there was a near-endless supply of allowed stuff that they could use, as long as they weren't wasting it. I'm not sure what your budget is like but eggs, cheese, bread, flour, pasta, apples, bananas would be the staples here.

I don't think they should have to ask for food. Sounds like you just don't buy enough of what they like and if it is getting too costly then ask them to contribute...

I do 2 ships a week, instead of one big one. If the food is gone before the second shop tough