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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think peoples attitudes are just going to contribute to more lockdowns?

252 replies

firthy85 · 13/04/2021 05:33

ok. i have always been an advocate to get back our freedom but sensibly. went out yesterday to a local pub for a couple of hours and couldn't believe it. its a great pub lovely atmosphere and staff and has always been a child/dog friendly pub. no social distancing at all, at one point i was squished on a bench between about 5 people. kids running in and out of the pub messing about etc. i totally get that yesterday was a novelty to many people after being locked down since the beginning of november but i feel this total lack of self control is going to end badly for everyone. did you risk going out at all yesterday? aibu?

OP posts:
Bluepumpkinwife · 14/04/2021 19:02

This year we have lost an uncle, 2 aunties, cousin and close family friend all with cancer apart from cousin, didn’t see any of them for a year. It’s been horrendous. Just found out brother in law is terminal.... as a family we’ve decided we will be ignoring COVID it won’t be stopping or reducing interactions we just can’t not see another relative before they die. I will add my cousin died of COVID and I know the risks but in the circumstances we just can do it again and loose another person with no celebration or family time.

JustDanceAddict · 14/04/2021 19:02

I was sat outside a cafe today and it was fine. I’m Going to stick to local cafes etc for now as they seem reasonably safe.
If I was squashed on a bench I’d get up. I tend to move from the unmasked too - I did today in a shop.

HeadBeeGuy · 14/04/2021 19:16

". that was about 12.39 and spoke to landlady who said if i was coming down not to take too long because they were running out of tables and chairs so i thought i may aswell take a look. i was surprised not alarmed but i do understand it kind of came across like i was."

Did that not tip you off that it was going to be busy...?

Velociraptor1 · 14/04/2021 20:17

I don't think you are being unreasonable in what you say; of course it will cause new cases - it spreads through people. However your post is unreasonable, as you are complaining about people who were doing the exact same as what you, yourself did. If you have covid, and are asymptomatic, those 5 people may have caught it from you. It's up to you to follow SD guidelines to stay safe. It's not going anywhere, I have friends who have had family members very sick with, one friend of mine in her late 30s is left with a heart condition that requires medication after recovering from it. A work colleague of my brother died from it in his 40s (totally healthy, no pre existing conditions). I totally want and need to get back to normal as do we all, but squashing up against people is not getting back to normal. That's adults behaving like bold children, I would have left the place and taken responsibility for my own comfort

Yourcatisnotsorry · 14/04/2021 20:38

So basically you are saying you want the pubs to be open but only you should be allowed to go?

AlecTrevelyan006 · 14/04/2021 20:53

I suspect the OP will die

Of something

Eventually

GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam · 14/04/2021 21:12

My area of the country has had 0 cases of covid for a whole week now. Not ONE SINGLE CASE.......

So why on earth would we not get out and on with life

AriseMyPretties · 14/04/2021 21:17

In my opinion, it's going to be a never-ending cycle of lockdowns and people going feral.

Everybody is blaming "the government" for fucking it all up but really the general public are fuelling the viral waves. You only need to think about what it's been like on here to see it. It's gone from, "lock everyone else up, report em, fine em, covidiot cunts" to, "fuck the fucking rulz, don't try to control me man" and back again.

It's like some sort of scaled up society wide multiple personality disorder.

Velociraptor1 · 14/04/2021 21:20

Totally right to ask her to get the other lift. Taking her mask off and all, like wtf. I would have coughed several times and said "how unlucky was I catching this just after getting my first vaccine"
Did she get out?

southeastdweller · 14/04/2021 21:21

I've been risking going out for as long as I please since this all started last year.

You need to get a grip and get some empathy. Life's for living but please do stay at home for as long as you'd like if it helps you.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 14/04/2021 21:31

Of course you are being unreasonable op - you were part of the problem! It was too crowded, but you were part of the crowd. You wished there weren’t so many people - so did others. Silly AIBU really - of COURSE you are!

itsnotmeitsu · 14/04/2021 21:37

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall > 'to sit there at my table not mingling' > I'm not venturing out of my house at the moment, but do have an outside table booked for a week on Sunday. But I can't remove the image of Denise telling Dave to, 'Mingle', from my mind now.

pinkstripeycat · 14/04/2021 22:27

I can’t even get in to my doctors yet! Pubs open but not dr - eh?

Anitarest · 14/04/2021 22:41

@Toomuchtrouble4me

Of course you are being unreasonable op - you were part of the problem! It was too crowded, but you were part of the crowd. You wished there weren’t so many people - so did others. Silly AIBU really - of COURSE you are!
Couldn’t have put it better! People complained about so many people in the beach that they couldn’t find a space and had to squash in after the first lockdown. If you’re part of the problem, don’t complain.
Ellen2shoes · 14/04/2021 22:42

I will never book ahead or queue to have a beer on a table outside my local pubs.
I can see that it’s the right way about things at the moment to stop the squishing situations. Still seems like madness to me though

Newsinglemum58 · 14/04/2021 22:45

@hamstersarse

You are going to have to get used to normality again

The past year has been the abnormal, humans interacting and socialising is the normal thing for humans. It’s always going to revert to that for the majority. Because we need it. There may be some still in fear but they will be the minority. Up to them, but they’ll be onto a losing battle to try and stop people interacting in the long term

Well said! People are much too keen to keep the new abnormal and live an isolated, dull and risk-averse existence it seems which is sad in my view. If you compare weekly deaths with previous year it's much lower and it is also much under the five year average.
Roxy69 · 14/04/2021 23:11

I didn't go anywhere yesterday. Who needs to go to a pub garden? There are many other places to go that would be much better and more fun. Obvious that a lot of people would act like idiots so I am leaving it to settle down a bit. Who cares about a date.

Mamanyt · 15/04/2021 00:58

I can understand why people feel the way that they do. Hell, I feel that way myself. What I do not to is place my own stir-crazy boredom ahead of the health needs of my community at large. I'll stick this out, for "as long as." Along with the freedoms that our countries enjoy come great and grave responsibilities.

notangelinajolie · 15/04/2021 01:19

YABU because you went out to the pub too Confused

Ineke · 15/04/2021 02:24

Just wait, June 21st will be crazy with crowds and merriment. For myself, I shall still avoid busy locations. But I am hoping that the pub situation will calm down and people will act responsibly, nobody wants another lockdown which is very possible if the numbers go the wrong way again or if the South African strain gets a foothold. Enjoy it while we can, carefully.

YellowFish1647 · 15/04/2021 02:56

We went to our local for lunch yesterday afternoon and it was really sensible and safe. Busy but tables at a reasonable distance, nice friendly staff, people passing the time of day. Felt normal for the first time in ages.

Bbq1 · 15/04/2021 07:55

Normality, yes. We all want that. Normality for me, however, long before Covid was even thought of, was not sitting "squished up" with strangers on a pub car park bench. No thanks.

Barmychick · 15/04/2021 12:41

Went to a restaurant once last year no social distancing. Watched staff "cleaning tables. Took one look cancelled and left!

bemusedmoose · 15/04/2021 16:14

too much too soon yet again. people arent being responsibly packing themselves in and behaving like twats and for what - Primark and a pint!?! Not exactly anything worth it!

I havent changed what i do yet - we'll get locked back down again and it's harder to go back in when you have got use to being out.

Personally ive had it, i dont want it again it was horrible and i dont want to pass it around and certainly not for Primark crap (dont get me wrong i dont mind primark, just not in a pandemic) wouldnt mind a sit in a pub garden either but im in no rush.

I think people have really divided - those that have knuckled down to get this over and those then couldnt give a toss if they tried.

It's also shown a lot of people that what they have at home is better than what's out there where as others have learnt that they hate everything at home and cant wait to get the hell out.

I now realise i'm not really bothered about being social, i dont like going to the shops, i hate crowds. I've bumbled through life not really being bothered one way or the other but now i definitely do not like how life was. I need to go off grid somewhere.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/04/2021 16:31

@bemusedmoose

too much too soon yet again. people arent being responsibly packing themselves in and behaving like twats and for what - Primark and a pint!?! Not exactly anything worth it!

I havent changed what i do yet - we'll get locked back down again and it's harder to go back in when you have got use to being out.

Personally ive had it, i dont want it again it was horrible and i dont want to pass it around and certainly not for Primark crap (dont get me wrong i dont mind primark, just not in a pandemic) wouldnt mind a sit in a pub garden either but im in no rush.

I think people have really divided - those that have knuckled down to get this over and those then couldnt give a toss if they tried.

It's also shown a lot of people that what they have at home is better than what's out there where as others have learnt that they hate everything at home and cant wait to get the hell out.

I now realise i'm not really bothered about being social, i dont like going to the shops, i hate crowds. I've bumbled through life not really being bothered one way or the other but now i definitely do not like how life was. I need to go off grid somewhere.

It's not really that black and white. I haven't "behaved like a twat" but I am certainly doing things that we are allowed to do now like go to the shops and the pub. That doesn't make you a twat.

Equally, I do not hate everything at home but I'm fed up of being stuck in it for the best part of a year, as I'm sure many are.

You don't have to change anything if you don't want to but don't label people "twats" just because they want to do something other than sit at home.