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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about people peeping in garden (pic inc)

123 replies

Futuremrs · 12/04/2021 14:36

I live in a newish estate so appreciate gardens are pretty close together and I can see in my neighbours garden from my upstairs windows.

I share a fence with 2 others. Our ndn and the people at the back. Don’t have a problem with either of them, get on well with ndn and actually work at same place with both ndn and other people we share fence with.

People at the back of our two houses have spent quite a bit of time and money on their garden. They have decking all around the perimeter and have created a sitting area (I think) against the fence we share with them at the back. The decking is quite high, about a foot off the ground.

When they have people over (frequently) they congregate at this seating area but I have noticed whilst most are sitting there is one person constantly standing and it means he can look into our garden (and does) very easily. He doesn’t need to tiptoe or anything. I can look into the back garden and just see a floating head.

I feel a little uncomfortable with this. I have a daughter that in the summer will be out in swimming costumes or pants and T-shirt etc. As does our ndn.

It isn’t the neighbours head I see, it’s someone who doesn’t live there, she has young adult sons and it looks like one of their friends (around 22).

Would I be unreasonable to ask her to ask him to not keep looking in? Should I put something on top of the (6ft) fence to hinder his view or should I just leave it.

I have no problem saying anything just wanted to know if I was being a bit of a dick mentioning it. Like I say it’s not the couple that live there, it’s a guest.

YANBU - say something
YABU - leave it it’s their garden and guests

AIBU about people peeping in garden (pic inc)
OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 12/04/2021 15:35

What about a parasol which tilts? Just in that corner.

Zoecarter · 12/04/2021 15:35

We have had decking in our back garden which meant my husband can see in to neighbours as he’s 6ft 4 we extended the fence because obviously it’s not nice for the neighbours feeling watched

User5747384 · 12/04/2021 15:35

I would definitely block their view with something.
I did this to my current neighbours as they built their garden up which resulted in their heads way above the fence line.

MissConductUS · 12/04/2021 15:35

@Alreadyinmypyjamas

I read this as "peeing".
Me too. Grin

I was really expecting a whole different thread.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 12/04/2021 15:38

If it’s just a small corner that they can see into I’d just block the view.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/04/2021 15:44

@mumof2oneofeach

Am I the only one just thinking, poor guy? He obviously doesn't get a seat and so stands to face the other people who are sitting. Why do you think he's peering in? Why on earth would you soak him? Why are you worried about your child wearing a bathing suit? Do you not take them to a swimming pool/beach?
Do you know how tall he'd have to be?

2 metres tall; 6ft 6" tall just to get the top of his head level with the top of the fence.

OP - has Richard Osman moved in?

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 12/04/2021 15:49

@CuriousaboutSamphire, OP has said that the decking is significantly higher than ground level so the person doesn’t actually have to be that tall to be taller than the 6ft (from ground level) fencing.

anniegun · 12/04/2021 15:51

He is probably worried about the strange neighbours who stare at him whenever he is on the decking

ginandwineandbaileys · 12/04/2021 15:53

I'd. Lock his view, not say anything at all

ginandwineandbaileys · 12/04/2021 15:53

Block his view...

Bagamoyo1 · 12/04/2021 15:55

Is it permitted to put trellis up so that the total height of the fence is over 6 foot? I'm asking as I'd like to do the same. Our fence is about 5'10" and I'd like to add trellis to make it a foot or so higher, but I was under the impression that 6' was the maximum allowed (and that includes trellis).

Sleepisoverrated150 · 12/04/2021 15:55

We did this, added some trellis and a climbing plant. Definitely makes a difference

Sleepisoverrated150 · 12/04/2021 15:56

All we did was ask the neighbours first and everyone agreed

Chanjer · 12/04/2021 15:56

You seem to have a pretty good grasp of their garden layout 🤔

HaveringWavering · 12/04/2021 15:58

Why not report them for breaking lockdown rules as well, since they have been having groups of people over for some time?

I don’t understand, why is it always the same bloke who doesn’t get a seat? Can you see anyone else’s head? Is he possibly some very tall height like 6 foot 6 and the others can’t see over?

Oh and the poster who said “don’t you take your daughter to the beach?” didn’t mean “why not take her to the beach instead?”, she meant “If she was on the beach in her costume strangers would be able to see her, so why are you bothered about strangers swing her in the garden?”

Gwenhwyfar · 12/04/2021 15:58

@Alreadyinmypyjamas

I read this as "peeing".
Me too and I thought "well if the Covid rules allow you outside, but not inside, what are people to do?"

My flat oversees many gardens so obviously I look at them!

Nanny0gg · 12/04/2021 15:59

@Throwntothewolves

Bamboo is your solution. We have it all along the back fence and it's an excellent screening plant. It also grows straight up so doesnt over hang the fence on their side and needs very little maintenance
And can be incredibly invasive and a menace (our ndn bamboo is pushing our fence) so be careful of the variety
Nanny0gg · 12/04/2021 15:59

@Bagamoyo1

Is it permitted to put trellis up so that the total height of the fence is over 6 foot? I'm asking as I'd like to do the same. Our fence is about 5'10" and I'd like to add trellis to make it a foot or so higher, but I was under the impression that 6' was the maximum allowed (and that includes trellis).
Check with your council
HaveringWavering · 12/04/2021 16:00

for me - sorry but a 22 year old man peering in with young kids, does that not ring alarm bells here, especially if kids are naked or semi naked?

@CleverCatty no! It must be tiring living with that level of suspicion and paranoia.

katy1213 · 12/04/2021 16:01

So you bought a house on an estate - and now you're worried that people can see into your garden?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/04/2021 16:01

[quote BalladOfBarryAndFreda]@CuriousaboutSamphire, OP has said that the decking is significantly higher than ground level so the person doesn’t actually have to be that tall to be taller than the 6ft (from ground level) fencing.[/quote]
Yes! Mumoftwo said he hasn't got a seat and is stood facing every one else. Presumably stood on the ground, not on the decking, or how else would he be facing veryone else?

What OP seems to be describing is someone stood n the decking. Quite a different scenario!

CleverCatty · 12/04/2021 16:01

@HaveringWavering

for me - sorry but a 22 year old man peering in with young kids, does that not ring alarm bells here, especially if kids are naked or semi naked?

@CleverCatty no! It must be tiring living with that level of suspicion and paranoia.

it's a valid concern. But yes as others have said grow something tall like Leylandi.

On a separate tangent to this - there was a peeping tom who used to spy on my DM in her bikini in years gone by.

WarwickHunt · 12/04/2021 16:04

YABU (and a little bit ridiculous).

toconclude · 12/04/2021 16:04

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

I'm with your DH!! A couple of drenching should solve the problem.
And get him arrested, but hey.
HaveringWavering · 12/04/2021 16:05

I’m sorry but worrying about paedophilia on the part of a 22 year old man at a social gathering who happens to glance in the direction of a child is not “a valid concern” it is falling prey to tabloid scaremongering at its very worst.