Vulnerable adult being questioned during house survey?

[30julytoday]

Should I make a complaint?

My DH ad I selling our home to downsize. DH has mental health issues resulting in poor memory, suspiciousness, poor cognitive function. Not obviously apparent to strangers . He Is on anti psychotic meds

So buyers surveyors asked to come on day i had a short hospital appointment. They couldn’t give a time in advance. They said we should try to vacate property or restrict ourselves to a single room, open doors windows etc due to covid. Given this. I agreed to their visit on that day, knowing DH may be on his own depending on what time they turned up. I saw no issue with this given he just needed to let them in and then stay out of their way

So just found out, 2 days later, that after I left they asked my DH if he would help them answer some questions about the valuation. Turns out it wasn’t about the valuation. He felt they were interrogating him, and they were asking him loads about various structural work on the property and issues they’d found.
He struggles to remember stuff. Told me he said things to them that aren’t true. He got in a panic trying to find documents that he would never be able to remember where they are kept. Result is 2 days later I have a stressed and panicking husband who feels he was forced to divulge stuff but he can’t remember what about. I’m at a loss to know what was asked or what he told them. I know he said some things that are misleading in findings and report.

Given they did not say they would be asking us anything should I tell them they cannot use any of the information he told them given we don’t now know what DH said and the stress he was under, and that he lacks full mental capacity? If I’d known in advanced they’d need to ask questions I’d have told them they couldn’t come that day and it needed to be while I was there

We’ve never been asked questions at a survey before...does this even sound right? I’d have been very reserved over what I divulged to them in these circumstances even though we don’t have issues we are aware of in the house.

They were also apparently banging on patio doors to try to get information from him while he was sitting inside while they were doing the outside stuff. Then when they did wan5 to come in scared the living daylights out of DH by ringing the bell multiple times and pounding on the front door- he thought there was an emergency and became very panicked.

I’m also mad that after sending us a video of how we were expected to behave because of covid, they questioned my husband at length apparently in a closed unventilated room. There were 2 of them from different households. We haven’t seen our sons since last august and are due to see them in May once they can travel and stay in hotel. Last thing I want is for DH to get covid now with 3-4 weeks to go.

AIBU to complain?

@30julytoday

Let me ask you all a question . How many of you have actually been subjected to multiple detailed questions during a survey on your home? Is this now a thing?

We have never experienced or expected that before

Anybody selling a home is asked lots of questions about it. If I didn’t know the answer to a question I say “I don’t know”. It is a situation I am confident I can handle.

To be honest you are not making any sense. I would take no contact to mean no shaking hands, no close physical contact, I wouldn’t assume it means no speaking. If I am the adult on the house when a visit takes place, I would be prepared to be spoken to.

You refer to your husband as vulnerable, you don’t want anyone else to know it or feel they should, but then you are cross that they have treated him like a typical person. You say you are “not your husband’s keeper” yet you are wondering if you ought to complain on his behalf because he was treated like a typical person when he isn’t. Honestly, as I say, you are not making any sense.

@YukoandHiro

You don't know what power of attorney means. It's literally not possible to get it before the onset of mental incapacity

This isn’t true.

You need to sign the documents granting Lasting Power of Attorney before you lose mental capacity. You have to be mentally capable to grant it. This is to stop a vulnerable person being exploited against their wishes.

There are 2 types - Heath & welfare, and financial. For health & welfare it doesn’t kick in until the person isn’t capable of making their own decisions - but you need to sign the documents granting it to a trusted person well in advance. For financial it can be used alongside the person even if they are still fully mentally capable.

specifically said there would be no contact and the homeowner should either be in another room or vacate the property

This being AIBU, the majority will simply pretend they haven't seen this part. A pile-on is more fun.

You should have put this in Mental Health section OP. A lot of insensitive replies in here.

Complain about what happened if you want to. You need to know what your husband said to them, for one thing. Nobody here can judge for definite that you have "no grounds". Complain, and see what happens. At least it starts a dialogue.

I hope your husband feels better soon.

You sound irrational. You say your husband is vulnerable and lacks capacity. If that's so and you assume responsibility for him then you should not have put him in that position. It's perfectly reasonable for prospective buyers and their agents to make enquiries of a seller. It's for that seller to decline to answer or not.

I would definitely make a phone call. They said you could be absent but then asked questions of your dh. If nothing else you need to clarify his answers.

@30julytoday

Let me ask you all a question . How many of you have actually been subjected to multiple detailed questions during a survey on your home? Is this now a thing?

We have never experienced or expected that before

I’ve sold three houses in the past 10 years. I’ve been asked questions by the surveyors that come round every time.

He’s on anti psychotic..that means he is not delusional . I don’t believe they did it intentionally to scare the hell out of him, but it happened and it did have that effect

Being on an anti psychotic doesn’t guarantee someone isn’t delusional. You say he is suspicious which makes me think he suffers some degree of paranoia and would have found strangers poking about his home highly stressful. Why were they banging and shouting, did he accidentally lock them in/out and they thought he was hard of hearing?

Op I'm sorry your dealing with this stress but is it possible that your husbands memory of this visit is false? Maybe the stress of the situation is making him recall it alot worse than it was?

And yes it's normal for surveyors to ask questions butaybe because your husband wasn't expecting them it caused a normal scenario to seem more stressful than it actually was?

Also.one thing doesn't make sense in your opening post you said they rang the doorbell and banged the doorbell scaring your husband buy in a second post you said you were there to greet them?

OP my brother is a paranoid schizophrenic, he has been sectioned 3 times and has a court order to the his medical via injection as he doesn't believe he is ill; many people don't, because to them it is their 'normal'- it's also not uncommon for people to not want to tell people, as sadly there is a stigma, so I think people are being harsh in that respect.

That said, if he isn't happy to share which is understandable and his right, then it's reasonable to try and limit situations where it can cause him distress. Having people he doesn't know over anyway is bound to be challenging for him, like the banging on the doors and ringing the bell repeatedly- much more likely to be his perception than what actually happened. I wouldn't phone them as what are you hoping for? The letter did say that, but say you were there as well and didn't want to answer, you would have been able to say no.

Let me ask you all a question . How many of you have actually been subjected to multiple detailed questions during a survey on your home? Is this now a thing?

We had a survey done for a remortgage a couple of weeks ago

Also asked to either leave, or stay in one room with open windows - it was a standard script read out by the booking office.

When the surveyor arrived, he did the survey and then spent maybe 10 mins asking some questions
What did we think the value was, and why
What sort of work have we done since we bought it
Was x building project done by us or the previous owners

It wasn’t an interrogation. It was just normal questions

I work for an Estate Agent, this sounds completely normal

The surveyor will just be doing their job, they don't know you and they'll never have met your buyer. By the way you've described it they work for a big company.

It's normal for the surveyor to ask questions to help them write their report and make it more accurate, if the seller is at the property and if they're happy to chat.

It's not an interrogation.

I would suggestion you call your agent and ask them to speak to the buyer to explain what's happened.

@DeeCeeCherry

specifically said there would be no contact and the homeowner should either be in another room or vacate the property

This being AIBU, the majority will simply pretend they haven't seen this part. A pile-on is more fun.

You should have put this in Mental Health section OP. A lot of insensitive replies in here.

Complain about what happened if you want to. You need to know what your husband said to them, for one thing. Nobody here can judge for definite that you have "no grounds". Complain, and see what happens. At least it starts a dialogue.

I hope your husband feels better soon.

This to me means don’t follow the surveyor from room to room; don’t make them a cup of tea; don’t shake hands

It doesn’t mean they can’t ask normal questions of the adult homeowner in the house.

I agree with the PP that OP feels guilty about messing up the scheduling of this but is trying to blame someone else.

It is ridiculous to think there are grounds for complaint here.

to you and your DH OP. I don't think you're being ridiculous to be upset.

When I sold my house, we were out when the first buyers surveyor came round so no questions were asked (the EA gave them the keys), the second buyer had 2 surveys done (while I was home) and again no questions were asked or documents asked for. IMO as they said you could leave the property i would have assumed no questions too! Surely if your DH was stressed they would have noticed and should have stopped especially if he said they should talk to you later! For all they know he might not know anything as he's a new DH just moved in!

Not sure about a grounds for a complaint but you should definitely speak to your EA, solicitor and the surveyors to let them know what happened so that you can ensure the report is accurate.

I think people have been very hard on the op.

She was told that the building would have to be vacated or they would need to stay out of the way in one room with the door closed and the windows open in the house.

I think it is reasonable to think they would not need to speak to the homeowners if they preferred the house to be empty.

Had op known questions were going to be asked the. I'm sure she would have arranged to be there for the whole time.

I would call to advise them that their covid policy was not adhered to. I would ask to clarify what questions were asked and state that the person they had asked may not have given accurate answers. I'd point out that they had not mentioned questions would be need to be answered (also they could have asked her when they were first talking to her!).

I'm glad a surveyor has been able to clarify what their job entails and how questioning residents is not a normal way of gathering information.

specifically said there would be no contact and the homeowner should either be in another room or vacate the property

No contact (in time of a pandemic) just means no 'social contact'. 'Be in another room' is to avoid social social contact. 'Vacate the property' means to step outside in the garden. Neither of these precludes asking the homeowner questions.

I was asked questions at my survey, it’s normal. If he’s not overtly vulnerable then how would they know? I think you’re overreacting

I'm glad a surveyor has been able to clarify what their job entails and how questioning residents is not a normal way of gathering information.

Unless I missed a post, this is the exact opposite of what happened.

Someone who works ‘in construction’ said it shouldn’t have happened, and then an actual surveyor and an actual estate agent said it was completely normal for questions to be asked.

@YukoandHiro

You don't know what power of attorney means. It's literally not possible to get it before the onset of mental incapacity

The whole point of POA is that you set it up before you lose capacity

You can't have it both ways 😂 he's either vunerable and shouldn't be left alone to deal with anythibg 'official' or he needs to say I'm m vunerable and not able to answer any questions. It was a surveyor not a mental health officer.

So you’ve asked for people’s opinions and then lambast them because you’re not liking what you hear🤷‍♀️
Take a deep breath and think about for a moment...
I’m sorry your OH had such an unsettling experience and hope he is ok.
However ... they are not being U asking your OH questions when he is the homeowner in situ
I’m sorry he felt like it was an interrogation but in all reality it is likely it wasn’t but his vulnerable status made him panic.
I wouldn’t complain all guns blazing but I would calmly contact them, explain the situation and ask if there is anything they need clarification on as OH is concerned he may have been mistaken.
Handhold for you OP as you sound overwrought and emotionally drained.

I wouldn't complain.
I would call them and say you understand from your husband that there was some information or questions that you would be best placed to answer and can you just go over it with them?
It will put your minds at rest.

If they weren’t aware of your DH illness, could you not have told your buyers to rearrange the survey so it didn’t conflict with your appointment. It’s not unreasonable for the surveyor to ask the owner of the house questions. I don’t see why you feel it’s appropriate to complain, but entirely up to you.

I think you are being a bit dramatic calling in an 'interrogation' we've had our buyer's surveyors round lately and as we were there they asked us a few questions - they didn't tell us before hand they might ask us some questions but as we were there they took that opportunity and I didn't think anything of it as why wouldn't they if they needed to know something only we as the homeowners would readily know? If your husband made himself available to answer questions and is not obviously vulnerable I don't think you can be angry with the surveyors. If you are worried about what he said, just explain this to your estate agent and ask them to find out what the report says so you can check it for accuracy.

Yes you should complain. About not following reasonable steps to minimise the risk of Covid. Make them come again, with you present, at a set time. If I was buying and became aware, I'd consider the survey to be invalid if for whatever reason the person asking the questions is unable to answer them accurately owing to an MH condition.

People who cannot give a precise time or a short time window should always be challenged- supermarkets can manage one hour time slots so people such as utilities (and surveyors) can.

My husband had serious heart surgery, the drugs and shock had a weird effect on him, and he was not himself for a month or so. We had storm damage to our roof just after he came out of hospital, and I needed to claim on house insurance to pay for it. Due to a misunderstanding the assessor came when I was at work, and spoke to Dh, our claim was refused even though it should have been straightforward. It turned out that Dh had spouted a load of rubbish about previous repairs which had never happened!
I phoned and explained and was passed from one person to another, until I spoke to some one very senior in the insurance company, he was very understanding, when I explained Dh's temporary problem, and his resulting delusions of grandeur which had led to the misinformation, and they paid up.
It was easier for us because it was a temporary condition, and although Dh denied he had a problem at the time, the thought of losing thousands of pounds, made him agree to me telling strangers about his vulnerability.