To have lied to him?

[breadandwine33]

Started talking to someone 6 weeks ago and we have met once for a coffee.
No kissing or anything physical.
I started a job and it was full time,after having anxiety problems for years it was too much.
So luckily found a new job part time and started that.

I didn't really want to explain all this to a stranger and was waiting to tell him after our second date when I knew him better.

Anyway yesterday I got a text
"Why are you lying about working?"
"I have a friend who works there who is a manager and I asked about you and she said you left"

Why you lying?
I said sorry for not telling him I had switched jobs but because we barely knew each other I didn't want to get into things.

I didn't want to explain my struggles by text.
I wasn't lying about working there,I just didn't tell him I left.

We never really speak about work.
Just general questions what time we finish etc

Aibu ?

You weren't unreasonable. Your issues in your daily life weren't something to discuss with someone you'd never met! He might have felt lied to, but your explanation is enough.

Ditch him!!!!!!!!

I can understand him panicking that this person he thought he was getting to know seems to have lied to him but I would hope your explanation is perfectly understandable.

Run, run for the hills. After 6 weeks it's still not really any of his business.

I don’t really understand, you must have told him you worked at the old place?

@Bluntness100 I did,as when we started speaking I worked there.

[quote breadandwine33]@Bluntness100 I did,as when we started speaking I worked there.
[/quote]
Ah ok. So you only changed job in thr last six weeks?

I’d ditch him but just say you only changed job a couple of weeks ago.

I think he’s perfectly entitled to ask why you told him you had a job you didn’t and you would be really remiss not to ask so if you were seeing someone given the amount of scammers out there.

I’d see how he reacts now and take it from there.

I didn't want to tell him about my anxiety /depression struggles before we even met incase it scared him away.
I wanted him to get to know me,not be clouded by my anxiety.

@Bluntness100 yeah I only left my job two weeks ago and started my new job the Monday after.

I don't understand why you lied. You wouldn't have had to disclose the reasons why you changed jobs, so why lie about where you work? If I were him I'd be wary, too.

Asking someone why they're lying and actually using the work lying feels quite confrontational to me.
He could have said "x said you no longer work there, what happened"
After only 6 weeks and one meet up I'd be telling him to mind his own business and walk away.
I might be a bit sensitive but I wouldn't appreciate a text like that.
You hardly know him and are not answerable to him 💐

Did you talk to him on the date like you’re still there?

If you look at the dating boards, you'd be advised to question it if the roles were reversed. It's how he handles it now which is key. You don't explain yourself to a virtual stranger, but he should be understanding of the timing.

Sorry. Cross post.

I think it's fine for him to query it but to go in all accusing you of lying is not a good sign.

Thars a very confrontational message. I'd block him for that as he was sounds controlling.

Did you meet him online? A lot of men are online for a reason. I've had similar encounters with men ive met through OLD.One of them reversed searched my photos, found my social media profile and made accusatory comments from infirnation he found on there about my being in contact with other men, all because I didnt reply to him while I was at work one day. Crazy. Block and delete.

Your title isn't accurate once I read your post. You haven't lied, just haven't updated him.

I think this all comes down to if you have been talking to him about working there like you still are after leaving, that would be very weird indeed. And I’d probably call it out. If you’ve never mentioned work then the issue is his.

I also don’t understand the whole waiting to tell him thing, It’s not difficult to say I switched jobs. Is it a big deal to you?

@KoalaOok

Your title isn't accurate once I read your post. You haven't lied, just haven't updated him.

She might have, she might have been on the date or communicating about her work like she was still there, it’s not clear.

I think it reasonable to question it from his perspective but I don’t like the way he has framed the question it’s very accusatory.

It was more a case of him saying
"How's work"
And me replying
I just didn't want him to think I was flakey

@breadandwine33

It was more a case of him saying "How's work" And me replying I just didn't want him to think I was flakey

Ok so you basically let on you were still there?

Why would he think you’re flakey becayse you changed jobs?

Bluntness100 ah yes I've reread the post. Have you been lying to him about still working there? Or chatting about work without mentioning you've moved. I don't know why you wouldn't just say "I've got a new job now" you wouldn't have to go into details but it is the sort of thing people mention when asked how was your week etc.

The message is very confrontational and off putting.

However, if you asked a friend about John in Accountants and she said he doesn't work there at all , both of you would be considering red flags and "what else does he lie about?".

How did he react after you told him that you changed jobs?