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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be mega pissed off with DS nursery???

242 replies

user1468829213 · 09/04/2021 08:09

Opinions please...my 13 month old has been absolutely fine this week apart from teething so a bit more clingy than usual. No raised temperature or illness. He went to nursery as usual Wednesday & was absolutely fine when I dropped him off, nursery updated the app to say he’s fine eating normally etc. Then at about 2 they call to say he woke up from his nap hot so they did his temp & 39.5 so we need to collect him as so high but till we get there they gave him some calpol. DH went to collect him 30 mins later & he said he seemed fine, got him home did temp & 36, put him down for a nap & temp still 36 when he wakes up & happily eating Easter egg on sofa!
Nursery told my DH because of his temp he needs a negative covid test before coming back...bit extreme I think with his temp rise seemingly lasting less than an hour but fair enough rules are rules. Do him a lateral flow test as we have these in the house & negative...send this off to nursery to which I get a message saying it needs to be a PCR test.
At this I ring the nursery to tell them DS is absolutely fine & I’m not putting him through another PCR test unnecessarily. Their response was if he doesn’t have a test he will need to isolate for 10 day’s as he has ‘covid symptoms’. I tell her surely a fluke temp rise of less than an hour isn’t covid & definitely teething especially as it went down straight after having calpol. She sees my point so rings the director but she again won’t back down & says it’s ‘government guidelines’ & he can’t come back without having a negative PCR test.
Since I was backed into a corner we took him for the test yesterday morning even though yet again he has been ABSOLUTELY FINE & I have myself seen no evidence of a high temperature or illness & are taking their word for it he had a temp of 39.5.
The thing that really makes me angry is their ‘Covid terms & conditions’ means we still have to pay them for his sessions thurs & today un till we get the negative result back...husband works in professional cricket & has had to miss the first game of the season too so not good.
AIBU to be mega pissed at nursery, It all seems so unfair for such a sudden rise & fall in temperature that I never saw evidence of myself??

OP posts:
CroydianSlip · 09/04/2021 08:46

YABU. A temp of 39.5 is high and not likely to be due to teething. It came down due to the calpol. If you'd booked a pcr from the off the result would have been back quicker! That's completely in covid guidance.

If you genuinely believe your conspiracy theories could be true then it's indefensible to leave your child there. How can you be even thinking that if people you're so desperate to leave your child with? They're either trustworthy or they're not - and if they're not then don't leave your child with them!

Of course you have to pay for your absence - like you would anywhere.

DancesWithDaffodils · 09/04/2021 08:47

Yes, its annoying, but nursery are completly correct in the way they are handling it, sorry.
Lateral flow tests are not suitable if you have symptoms, and the place would go bust if you didnt pay for a pre booked session everytime your child was ill.

Best thing to do when (and sorry, its likely to be when not if) is to get a pcr test booked ASAP, so you can all get back to normal as quickly as possible.

notasillysausage · 09/04/2021 08:48

YABU and I say that with a child at nursery who has had to have two COVID tests over the last year.
It’s policy, it’s also in the lateral flow test and on the gov the website not to use if symptomatic. Since children are mainly asymptomatic, one fluke temperature could be the only symptom they have of COVID 🤷🏻‍♀️

angieloumc · 09/04/2021 08:48

The nursery are following the guidelines but if you really feel they are lying as they're understaffed then move his nursery.
Also, I don't really understand why your husband had to miss his match, weren't you able to be with your DS?

madmara · 09/04/2021 08:48

If you think the nursery lies to you, you should find a different one. If you don't trust them, more and more problems are going to come up.

shouldistop · 09/04/2021 08:48

If you think they lied about his temperature and giving him medication. 2 pretty serious lies. Then you don't trust them so you'll need to find another nursery, you can't leave your baby with people you don't trust.

17bluebirds · 09/04/2021 08:49

You really need to find other childcare.

You obviously don't trust this place at all, if you think.they would lie so thier staff could take holidays!
The policy sounds totally standard, in line with government guidelines and reasonable.

Thirstquenching · 09/04/2021 08:50

Yes its normal that you still need to pay. It's your childs place you are paying for while they are off. Would be the same if they were off with sickness or chicken pox

chinateapot · 09/04/2021 08:50

@TeddyBeans nursery are saying that about your child’s cough because that’s the guidelines for testing people with coughs - only if it’s new / worsened. There’s no flexibility for fevers.

Soontobe60 · 09/04/2021 08:51

@user1468829213

Thanks I suppose the consensus is IABU to be pissed off...!

Just for those who work in nurseries or have children in one is it also normal practice that a parent should still have to pay for the sessions he/she misses whilst waiting for the negative result? I was hoping it would come this morning so he could go in but nothing yet so looks like he’s missing 2 x days which stings the bank balance a lot!

Why does it ‘sting’ the bank balance? You’re not paying any extra for him whilst he’s off are you? So surely it’s the annoyance that you’re paying for a service you can’t use. Technically he’s ill until such point that it’s proved that he isn’t. Do you pay if you keep him off with vomiting?
HazeyJaneII · 09/04/2021 08:52

@angieloumc

The nursery are following the guidelines but if you really feel they are lying as they're understaffed then move his nursery. Also, I don't really understand why your husband had to miss his match, weren't you able to be with your DS?
Op's dh would have to isolate along with the rest of the household whilst waiting for a negative test result.
Soontobe60 · 09/04/2021 08:53

@user1468829213

No hours can’t be used in lieu this is their words -

‘... current government guidance states that we cant charge parents if a child is self-isolating having received a positive test result or have been contacted by NHS Test and Trace, so our normal terms and conditions are still in effect if a child is unwell or has been taken for a test. We are only recompensing parents if they are having to self isolate for the 10 day period’

I suppose the only thing that makes me suspicious is they have been known to be understaffed on certain days so have rang round asking parents to keep their child off & they’ll be refunded...And his room is ran by parents with young children and it is the Easter holidays...I can’t help but think they lied about his temp as they didn’t have the staffing for this week as controversial as this sounds! But again pointless theorising really as nothing I can do to prove it!!

This is an awful thing to say! I hope they don’t find out you’ve said this or else you could find yourself without a nursery place at all. Then what would your professional cricket playing husband do?
THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 09/04/2021 08:55

Yabu op

They are following the rules, imagine they just let him back and he did test positive and the effects then on many more people

HazeyJaneII · 09/04/2021 08:55

@user1468829213

No hours can’t be used in lieu this is their words -

‘... current government guidance states that we cant charge parents if a child is self-isolating having received a positive test result or have been contacted by NHS Test and Trace, so our normal terms and conditions are still in effect if a child is unwell or has been taken for a test. We are only recompensing parents if they are having to self isolate for the 10 day period’

I suppose the only thing that makes me suspicious is they have been known to be understaffed on certain days so have rang round asking parents to keep their child off & they’ll be refunded...And his room is ran by parents with young children and it is the Easter holidays...I can’t help but think they lied about his temp as they didn’t have the staffing for this week as controversial as this sounds! But again pointless theorising really as nothing I can do to prove it!!

I think if you believe this to be the case, you should be trying to find another nursery
THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 09/04/2021 08:56

Also nurseries were struggling financially BEFORE covid, they need to keep afloat!

randomsabreuse · 09/04/2021 08:57

I'd be interested to know if ear thermometer straight after waking (in the ear that was on the pillow) because that would normally be much higher (and instructions say not to trust temperature readings in those circumstances)

TeddyBeans · 09/04/2021 08:57

@chinateapot makes sense, didn't think about that

InsanelyPregnantAndSore · 09/04/2021 08:57

I get why you’re pissed off OP but every working parent is in the same boat as you. Yes every teething baby/toddler gets snotty and raised temps but all it takes is one to be covid (very possible given older siblings at school, parents at work...etc) and that’s the whole nursery closed for 10 days! How annoyed would you be if that was happening every couple of months?

If they let you bend the rules then they also have to let every other parent who ‘is sure it’s just teething’ bend them too and suddenly that’s a massive huge amount of risk. Sick kids who’ve all been exposed to different households all mixing together!

Posts like this are from a very selfish view point (no offence) because what they’re really saying is ‘our child should be allowed in regardless of the rules because it’s inconvenient to us to have them off...but other kids should be made to stick to the rules to keep us all safe’

HaveringWavering · 09/04/2021 08:57

@user1468829213

Thanks I suppose the consensus is IABU to be pissed off...!

Just for those who work in nurseries or have children in one is it also normal practice that a parent should still have to pay for the sessions he/she misses whilst waiting for the negative result? I was hoping it would come this morning so he could go in but nothing yet so looks like he’s missing 2 x days which stings the bank balance a lot!

If none of this had happened you’d have spent that money anyway, it’s not an additional cost.

You’d only be losing out financially if you are losing pay because your child is at home, or having to pay for alternative childcare- is that what has happened?

angieloumc · 09/04/2021 08:58

HazeyJanell of course, apologies.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 09/04/2021 08:58

@angieloumc

The nursery are following the guidelines but if you really feel they are lying as they're understaffed then move his nursery. Also, I don't really understand why your husband had to miss his match, weren't you able to be with your DS?
Because the whole household has to isolate while waiting for a PCR result for someone with a symptom.
LizzieSiddal · 09/04/2021 08:58

If you really believe that this is how the nursery is being run you need to find alternative childcare.

Agree with this. OP if you really think the nursery would do this, why are you leaving your baby with them?

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 09/04/2021 08:59

Sorry, cross-post.

ohnana · 09/04/2021 08:59

Unfortunately it’s just the way things are at the moment. My child’s nursery have the same policy they stick to and they have to for insurance purposes otherwise it would put them in a tricky situation. If they have to shut a nursery bubble for 10 days because of a positive result that’s their loss of income too. At least in the case of our nursery - if your child is in a bubble and it needs to close you don’t get charged, but if your child effectively has covid or symptoms they are sick, it’s the same as if they were sick in other circumstances and can’t go to nursery - you pay the fees.

sylbunny · 09/04/2021 09:00

This is the policy at every nursery I know at the moment. I know it's annoying but that's the way it is at the moment as they need to be so careful about picking up the small covid symptoms that are shown by the very tiny.

To give you an idea - my daughters nursery had one kid with a slight temp. This turned out to be covid and despite isolating the child immediately and getting a test it spread through 2 groups and 15 positive cases at nursery and many many more parents ill. We got it from my daughter who had no symptoms at all and I was very ill at 28 weeks pregnant.

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