Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Happier before or after?

114 replies

Putthebiglighton · 08/04/2021 21:23

Kids, if you have any?

OP posts:
Cowbells · 08/04/2021 23:09

After. Without a doubt. Nothing in life comes close to the joy I have found in having a family. Which sounds really Stepford Wives Grin but I've had an interesting career and lived and worked abroad before DC - lots of partying and fun too. But raising DC just beat it all. I felt like the moment they were born I had a purpose I'd never had before.

MintyCedric · 08/04/2021 23:09

I agree with @ButIcantsitonleather it's a different kind of happy.

I enjoyed my life before I had DD but I wouldn't change a second of the 16.5 years I've had with her.

From her pissing on my slippers during her first nappy change, to seeing her come through the door beaming this evening after her first shift in her first job...it's all been bloody marvellous.

Happymum12345 · 08/04/2021 23:12

Less worried before. Not sure if happier or not, despite loving them so much. Anxiety is a thief of joy.

Worldwide2 · 08/04/2021 23:14

Definitely after
To those saying before, is this because you can't do the things you wanted to do and never got to do? Or is it you just miss the life without responsibility?

MissingTheMoonlight · 08/04/2021 23:16

After. No question.
He was much wanted and he is the best thing.

lovevlyt · 08/04/2021 23:16

Interesting thread OP, i don't have kids but always worry I'd be happier before and make a huge mistake! Anyway I'm currently TTC so we will hopefully see!

Happycat1212 · 08/04/2021 23:17

Worldwide2

Mines because I’m a Lone Parent , I wouldn’t have chosen to have kids if I knew I would be raising them alone.

Hankunamatata · 08/04/2021 23:18

After

Mrsbclinton · 08/04/2021 23:20

After.

Ive grown so much as a person since having my kids, they can teach you a lot about yourself.

NotATomato · 08/04/2021 23:21

Both, but I don’t see how I can compare the two.

My life was just different before children but very happy. Now I’m happy with my children, just more tired and full of worries.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/04/2021 23:21

After! My children add so much joy to my life.

VonWeasel · 08/04/2021 23:26

I would say really happy before but now life has a totally different dimension to it that I never expected. I am so thrilled to be a mum. I feel content and fulfilled. Sex life and boozy nights have taken a hit though so swings and roundabouts 😂

hellofrommetoyou · 08/04/2021 23:27

Definitely after. However I was 20 when I fell pregnant so hadn't had much life experience beforehand. My time was spent working and partying on a loop. Everything changed when she came along and I'm a different kind of happy, I am content and whole and couldn't imagine my life without her.

DarkMatterA2Z · 08/04/2021 23:31

After, I think. I worried about a lot of things pre-DC that I just don't have time to worry about now. I'm also less isolated - I had a very busy job pre-DC which left me very little time to meet up with friends (and I didn't have any local friends) and I've realised since that I was actually quite lonely. I made some very good friends while on maternity leave and it's been great to be able to meet for walks this lockdown. On the other hand, I would kill for 24 hours by myself at the moment.

ShutUpAlex · 08/04/2021 23:34

After 100%

There is no love like it.

mamabear715 · 08/04/2021 23:40

After. I have seven, two are aspie. It can be difficult, but SO many giggles!
Just the three youngest at home now.

BackforGood · 08/04/2021 23:50

Another who agrees with GoToSleepBabyPlease and so many others.

I was happy before. I am happy since. The are different, but not really comparable. One isn't better than the other.

AlexaShutUp · 08/04/2021 23:54

Happier after. My teenage dd is an absolute joy, and the best thing that ever happened to me.

Life was good before dc too, though - lots of amazing experiences and lots of brilliant people.

I have been fortunate, I think.

bedroomews · 09/04/2021 00:07

I'm a much happier person since giving birth despite the fact that I haven't slept in over 2 years and have a high needs toddler but I think my little one was the missing piece that has completed me and I haven't known or experienced such love that is so deep that it makes me want to cry of happiness.

Aria999 · 09/04/2021 00:41

After without a doubt (though sometimes this seems crazy given how stressful it can be.). But still. DH would say before.

WeWereOnABreak10 · 09/04/2021 00:51

@ButIcantsitonleather

Different happy.
This.
Lalliella · 09/04/2021 01:02

After

OloBo · 09/04/2021 01:28

Definitely after.

SunscreenCentral · 09/04/2021 01:40

Becoming a parent, loving them, raising them, being thrilled and driven to absolute despair, the terror and joy of it all has deepened me. I’m not sure I’d do it all over again, it’s almost been too much for me sometimes, it’s been agony along with the joy. I’m glad I got to have them, I adore them
Probably just me, I’m over-sensitive.

Freyaismyname · 09/04/2021 02:16

Harder but happier no doubt about it