Happier before or after?

[Putthebiglighton]

Kids, if you have any?

Different happy. Before kids I went on amazing holidays, could be spontaneous and pretty much do whatever I wanted and I had an amazing relationship with dh! We had a great sex life, would go on spontaneous dates, utterly devoted to each other. After kids - love being a mum, was lucky enough to feel that instant, intense love for both of mine and got well and truly in a love bubble with them both. Obviously can't be as spontaneous as before, no money for holidays and dh and I aren't as hot and heavy as we once were (although there's still lots of love and we still fancy each other).

I would say blissfully unaware before, and the kind of happy content you can't explain after.

Before, without a doubt

Happy before, happier after.
But it's a different happy. I'm more stressed, more exhausted, less money, no time for myself but feel more content and complete.
Different things made me happy before. I was more carefree and spontaneous, didn't realise something was missing til I had my DD.

Doesn't stop it being the hardest thing in the world!!

Different kind of happy

Oh god after. My son means everything to me and I love him indescribably.

Happier after. Hands down. My children complete me.

Much happier after. My mental health really improved after having DD

I don’t think my kids are the reason I’m less happy, I’ve just been hit by the shit on the way to the fan, and knocked for six. So yes, before the kids I was weightless, and kids are hard, but they’re not the reason I’m heavy. If that makes sense.

After.

Before.

After.

After, more content

Age 3-4 was rough though 😅

@GoToSleepBabyPlease

I don't know jf it's made a difference to overall happiness levels. It's comparing apples and oranges. Before, I was happy about different things and worried about different things. I prioritised different things. Now, my happiness is contingent on my kids being happy, but I take joy in their joy, so opportunity for happiness is also greater...

I really don't know.

Very well put!

I'd say the same. Was happy before, happy now. Motherhood is the most difficult, frustrating, and wonderful thing. Both more awful and more amazing than before.

More carefree before but kids have given me a purpose. My kids cause me worry but also great joy.

After, definitely. I sometimes think about what my life might be like if I hadn’t had children. I’d have more money, I could travel more, I wouldn’t have to have contact with my exes, my body would be different etc but I had an overwhelming urge to have my children and think I would have been very unhappy if I’d never had them.

Very happy now DS has left home .... as a PP said, it's totally different situations, I would never say being a mother 'has given me a purpose in life' or 'it's the best thing I've ever done'... it really isn't.

Relationship wise its been tough but I'm happier in myself now that I have a child.

Very happy before, but deeply happier now. My children are nearly 20, and it keeps getting better. I worry more, but it is still just better.

Well a bit of both really but for me pre DC is also pre-covid. I do believe though that once my life returns to some kind of normality and I can actually settle into a life outside my house with DS I will be happier.

My life was very different before, much more carefree and selfish which I enjoyed but DS makes me so happy. His laugh is contagious and seeing things through his eyes helps me see how magical things that I take for granted are.

Different. Before I had more fun and maybe liked myself more as a person, but felt a bit lacking in purpose. Now more exhausted and anxious but also joyful with how much I love them and seeing them grow.

After. They bring me such joy. I'm so proud of the young adults they've become.

Hmm, I’d say a long time after. Before I was just in a holding pattern, immediately after very happy. Then one DC was DXed with SN, then my exH left, so a rough few years. But happy again now and they have been my purpose in life for quite a few years, for which I’m very grateful.

A million times happier afterward. My son is the greatest!

After but not as a result of them. They are anazing kids but not what made my life matter. I suspect if I hadn’t had them I’d have been miserable thinking about what I was missing though. I just wouldn’t have known.