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Original poster

To be annoyed that OH can't do any DIY?

109 replies

mummyneedsarest · 08/04/2021 20:07

Moving into our new house Sunday it has nothing so starting from fresh.

He can't do anything can't even put the blinds up always comes up with some kind of excuse! Of course all men can't be handy around the house but Jesus Christ making up excuses as to why he can't do the blinds.

He can't even put the shower curtain up for me, it really just winds me up.

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 08/04/2021 20:16

It's better to know you're rubbish at diy than to have a go and do it badly.

1Morewineplease · 08/04/2021 20:17

Do it yourself.
Is he good at other things?
Do not expect someone else to do what you could do yourself.

user1471453601 · 08/04/2021 20:17

I live in a three female adult family. We all do what we are able to do, and put into the family home according to our ability.

You know "to each according to their needs, from each, according to their abilities" .

Either teach yourself how to do these things, or joint!y pay for someone who does know how, to come and hang the blinds.

FOJN · 08/04/2021 20:17

He can't even have a go at doing things or watch any YouTube videos. It's always "ahh we need this for it better of just getting someone round to do it"

So he can't be bothered to watch some instruction and have a go? That would piss me off too. He may not be any good at it but sometimes you need a second pair of hands and it's useful if they actually have some idea even if they can't actually do the job.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/04/2021 20:26

Does he earn a lot of money and/or do a lot of housework?

Because if so, meh. If not, sounds unequal.

Tweaker · 08/04/2021 20:32

I totally get you OP. My DH just has no interest in it. I'd love it if he even tried but wasn't very good. He just doesn't really care about our house in the way I do. What bugs me is I know I shouldn't let it bug me! I should do it myself, it's not the 1950s etc. But my dad and brothers love diy and various projects in their homes and I would just love it if dh was similar. I'm trying my best to accept that he doesn't have to care about or be good at this stuff, he has many other positive qualities, but I do envy people with handy partners!

Xmasbaby11 · 08/04/2021 20:34

My dh is crap at diy too. It does sometimes annoy me because I'm not great either! We are both terrible at following picture instructions eg to assemble furniture - we do it,but it's a struggle. I do try more than him but we do pay for help a lot. He's not particularly handy but is good with finances and gardening and various other things. I think it's hard for men who aren't good at traditionally masculine tasks like DIY and cars.

overwork · 08/04/2021 20:39

Can you do it? If not, then yes, you're being very unreasonable. Which centuary are we in?

InTheNightWeWillWish · 08/04/2021 20:40

I probably fall into the won’t category. When I was a student and had to repair things that we’d broken because we had no cash, I could do DIY but it took forever. Sitting and watching a YouTube video was hell on earth. It would take me about 4 attempts of just watching it before I could attempt DIY. Then all day to complete the bloody thing. So at a push, I can’t do it but it’s not my strength.

So I’m very much like your DP, I would rather live with it, save and get someone in to do it. My DH weirdly quite likes DIY and he’s slowly got better at it over the years. He does all our DIY because he knows I’d be a hinderance and complain about getting someone in. So I provide tea and biscuits and provide lots of ‘ooos’ and ‘ahhhs’ when it’s complete.

ClarkeGriffin · 08/04/2021 20:43

Sounds more like he won't do it rather than he can't.

Does he do anything around the house? Cleaning, cooking, childcare etc.

Poptart4 · 08/04/2021 20:46

I totally get how you feel.

My OH is useless at DIY. Seriously cant even paint a wall. Spreads it too thick so theres drip marks and patches that are cracking. Frustrates the hell out of me because I've showed him a dozen times how to do it properly but he gets all offended and refuses to listen.

Its annoying because I'm not great at DIY either but I put alot of effort into whatever DIY I do and he just half arse's it.

My BIL is the type of guy who Carrie's a screw driver in his pocket, he can literally fix anything. I get so envious of my sister lol

Commonwasher · 08/04/2021 20:48

If he is watching tv with his feet up while you look after the kids, wash the socks and cook the dinner whilst hanging the shower curtain, then you are not unreasonable. But if he minds the kids, does the laundry/cleaning while you do the DIY I don’t see the problem.

Is it the lameness you object to?

I can see why he might not be confident hanging wall paper but a shower curtain... Hmm

Chloemol · 08/04/2021 20:56

So you do it then. Why does it have to be his job

Cherrysoup · 08/04/2021 20:56

YouTube is amazing, my dh has restored a class bike via videos. He can learn. If he refuses, he’s either scared to make mistakes or lazy.

DeeCeeCherry · 08/04/2021 21:00

I'm not so good at DIY. I don't like it, especially. But something that needs doing doesn't need to be interesting for me to get it done. I can paint walls. I can put up a shower rail. Wire a plug. Plumb in a washing machine.

Bigger jobs and stuff I can't do, I don't mind paying for someone else to do. But not the basics.

Unless there's a particular reason he can't do anything at all in DIY field, he's just lazy. DP is registered disabled but still does some bits.

& YouTube has clips that break down basic DIY jobs so a beginner can follow them.

Some pp's appear to have completely missed the fact that you are doing it yourself. Or maybe they think if a man says "can't" it's a woman's job to pick up the slack.

1Morewineplease · 08/04/2021 21:00

Youtube has been a godsend for so many things but... sometimes it's just not viable and you just have to pay someone to come in and do it for you.

Crazykidscrazylife · 08/04/2021 21:01

I completely get your frustration. My dad was amazing, knew how to rewire a house, plumbing, wallpapering etc etc. We rarely got anyone in. My ex tried but wasn’t anywhere near my dads level. We have separated and my new partner hadn’t got a clue. I grew up with this role model which is a far cry from the person I am currently with. Doesn’t make me a bad person but I do feel bad at my frustrations as to why new partner has no clue! I feel more equipped than him in so many ways. I’m less lazy too and think that may be part of it.

felineflutter · 08/04/2021 21:04

My DH is the other way. He always has a drill or a bit of wood he's working on. Confused I get frustrated with the banging and tools that appear under the bed. He has a stressful day job so he relaxes doing DIY.

rabbitheadlights · 08/04/2021 21:05

I totally understand OP ... Mine can't do anything either, at Christmas me "shall we have a look online and decide what to get the kids" him "oh I can't do that wouldn't have a clue".

Me "the kids bubble machine needs batteries" him ..." Where are they? I will get them for you"

Me "I've ordered laminate for DDs bedroom it's being delivered on Saturday" him ... "When are you laying it? "

The list goes on

Rewis · 08/04/2021 21:06

It can be very annoying.
I do challenge the idea that he can't, more likely he won't. Does he compensate on some other house tasks? So that when you DIY he will sort out the dinner etc.

My bf is very bad at DIY. He gets really frustrated if it is not straight forward and he has very odd logic. So I end up doing most of it. It would be nice to share them sometimes but he is a willing assistant and remembers to give credit. It sometimes entertaines me they he is a homeowner and then I do maintenance in our rental he seems confused when I say that this is nothing that needs to be done and he has never heared of it.

felineflutter · 08/04/2021 21:07

...and yes he does plumbing, electrics, carpentry, woodwork and plastering he taught himself watching youtube videos. At present he is fixing the supports in the roof.

Hoppinggreen · 08/04/2021 21:09

Mine is the opposite, won’t get anyone in because he can do it himself
He can actually do it, although not as quickly or as well. Plus he works long hours so doesn’t really have time either. We can easily afford someone too
Do you both work the same hours? If so you can both have a go

pumpkinpie01 · 08/04/2021 21:10

I understand op , my DH can has no initiative when it comes to diy , he changed a lock once and I was gobsmacked. He can put drawers together at a push but wouldn't have a clue where to start with decking or fixing skirting boards on. I live in a house where something always needs doing and I end up asking my stepdad or oldest son , my mum says you can't have it all in a man and she's right !

Flappityflippers1 · 08/04/2021 21:10

My DH is useless at DIY and gardening etc, so that’s my job. YouTube is great if you’re not sure how to do something Smile

Happytobejabbed · 08/04/2021 21:16

I’m lucky in that I can. However I can’t get my head round finances.

Fortunately my partner can.

Where there are gaps one can buy those skills in or start small and develop them. You tube is very useful.

So over lockdown I’ve tiled an ensuite from floor to ceiling and have now started replacing failed glazing units - all from you tube and small steps.

But I still can’t get my head round finances.

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