Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give debt collectors my relatives address?

555 replies

Famproblems1 · 08/04/2021 19:43

NC, I'll try to keep it short.

5 years ago I let a younger relative come and stay with me temporarily when she was leaving domestic violence in another part of the country, she stayed with me for approx 12 months before moving on into a place of her own with her small children.

During the course of that relationship alot of debt was accumulated before she left age 20..she says the majority of this was due to the partner taking out contract phones and payday loans using her details and that she had no control of her finances.

Despite the fact she doesn't live here anymore and hasn't for almost 4 years I'm still getting letters here addressed to her from debt collectors asking for money and to be honest I'm tired of it and want no part of it.

Obviously I've mentioned this to her a number of times and she claims she has contacted the companies and told them not to send anything else to my address as she doesn't live here. If that's true, which is debatable, then they clearly haven't listened.

I'm aware that she's paying a token sum to a couple of different companies on a monthly basis so she she says she's doing what she can but claims to be out of her depth and can only work part time. She has refused to give her address to these people citing that she's vulnerable with MH problems and has her disabled child there.

I received another letter through the door for her this morning after a peaceful couple of months, low and behold a debt collection company demanding £300 odd and I've reached the end of my rope.

We spoke over the phone which ended in something of a heated discussion because I said I'm going to give them her new address as I'm sick of the letters coming here and don't want debt collectors turning up here trying to take control of my property.

She then spoke to her mother who called me and implied I was being cruel.

So WIBU to do exactly that?

OP posts:
Saltyslug · 10/04/2021 10:08

Just write return to sender on every letter you receive and post them when next passing a post box. Why are you opening and reading the letters?

stackemhigh · 10/04/2021 10:08

Norwaydidnthappen that’s an amazing suggestion, don’t think anyone’s thought of that in 500+ posts.

Saltyslug · 10/04/2021 10:08

Yes she sounds vulnerable and you should keep your nose out of it

Standrewsschool · 10/04/2021 10:15

A friend has just been harassed by an energy company due to unpaid debts from a previous company. Talking to ‘live chat’ and customer services didn’t resolve the situation and he ended up paying to stop the intimidation.

Why should op shoulder this responsibility? The relative is the one who incurred the debts and should shoulder the responsibility. Op has spoken to her and her mum on several occasions and she’s not taken any action. It’s not op’s problem.

Countrygirl2021 · 10/04/2021 10:18

It's really not the OPs fault. Her niece made poor life choices. She had kids young and got herself in debt as a consequence. She needs to face up to what's she's done and clear her debts.

Belladonna12 · 10/04/2021 11:11

@Countrygirl2021

It's really not the OPs fault. Her niece made poor life choices. She had kids young and got herself in debt as a consequence. She needs to face up to what's she's done and clear her debts.
Nobody has said the debts are OP's fault. It's not clear whether the neice is at fault for the debts either though. OP herself suggest she may have been in an abusive relationship and the debts may be due to this. She also has mental health problems and a disabled child which could limit her earning capacity. Are you saying women are to blame for being abused or for having disabled children? OP didn't need to open the letters or get involved. She has made it her problem and she gave the nieces address without even trying to stop the letters arriving through her door. Quite spiteful.
Belladonna12 · 10/04/2021 11:13

@Standrewsschool

A friend has just been harassed by an energy company due to unpaid debts from a previous company. Talking to ‘live chat’ and customer services didn’t resolve the situation and he ended up paying to stop the intimidation.

Why should op shoulder this responsibility? The relative is the one who incurred the debts and should shoulder the responsibility. Op has spoken to her and her mum on several occasions and she’s not taken any action. It’s not op’s problem.

Your friend is either lying about being responsible for the debts or they are an idiot.
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/04/2021 11:14

Cos it's a load of hassle... Fine if it's one letter....

I moved into a place where the previous tenant had defaulted on loads of debt...

I'd never met them and wouldn't recognise them... I did exactly what people are saying here... Post kept coming..I wrote RTS/not known at this address etc... As this is exactly what people do when they're trying to evadeAngry... Nope i don't live here...

Over one week I had 43 diff letters I put back in post..
I didn't have their address as they were quite clearly dodgy....

I rang the places up..

Some companies then accused me of being the debtors wife/girlfriend...

They found my name online and then attached my name to the account... The bastards...the initial debt of 50 or so quid increased to over £1000.

This was BG... Had never had any supply through them...

I wrote to them numerous times... Sending them my council bill with my partner on there and copies of my passport.

No still didn't believe me...I then had bailiffs on doorstep threatening to take MY possessions.

I then contacted the court asking them not to give them any order against me as it was nada to do with me...

This went on for 2 BLOODY years... Its all so simple until its you...

No,... Not stressful at all..oh yes and all these debtors share their bloody (wrong) info..

The fuckers...

Belladonna12 · 10/04/2021 11:23

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

Cos it's a load of hassle... Fine if it's one letter....

I moved into a place where the previous tenant had defaulted on loads of debt...

I'd never met them and wouldn't recognise them... I did exactly what people are saying here... Post kept coming..I wrote RTS/not known at this address etc... As this is exactly what people do when they're trying to evadeAngry... Nope i don't live here...

Over one week I had 43 diff letters I put back in post..
I didn't have their address as they were quite clearly dodgy....

I rang the places up..

Some companies then accused me of being the debtors wife/girlfriend...

They found my name online and then attached my name to the account... The bastards...the initial debt of 50 or so quid increased to over £1000.

This was BG... Had never had any supply through them...

I wrote to them numerous times... Sending them my council bill with my partner on there and copies of my passport.

No still didn't believe me...I then had bailiffs on doorstep threatening to take MY possessions.

I then contacted the court asking them not to give them any order against me as it was nada to do with me...

This went on for 2 BLOODY years... Its all so simple until its you...

No,... Not stressful at all..oh yes and all these debtors share their bloody (wrong) info..

The fuckers...

It's very common to move into a house where the previous tenants have debts and this doesn't happen. They must have had reason to believe that you were the debtor.
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/04/2021 11:33

@Belladonna12

Please don't minimise my upset and distress at this... Yes it absolutely DID happen... Or are you one of those people who refuse to believe anything unless it happened to them..?? And believe that there aren't some lazy oafs to try and clear up outstanding debt by attaching it to someone else?? (only up thread someone paid someone else's debt to stop them hassling them...)

Apart from living at the address... No reason to assume at all..... I've never been in debt in my life.

My name is completely different to the person too...

Some fuckwit attached my name to the account... Not exactly difficult to do...

Redruby2020 · 10/04/2021 11:36

Definantly not done anything wrong, you helped her out when she needed it, it's gone on for a long time and it needs to be sorted.
Different scenario but now both properties I have rented at, this being no different have bloody debt letters coming left right and centre, so fed up with it, even the ones without envelopes now, being put through the door.

Whiskyinajar · 10/04/2021 11:41

write "no longer at this address return to sender" and pop them back in a postbox. They will eventually stop coming,

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 10/04/2021 11:45

Write no longer known at this address on the envelope and stick them back in a post box.

We had this within ex Tennant at our house. Had police showing up for him and everything once.
Stopped after I started sending them all back.

WhiskyIrnBru · 10/04/2021 11:49

The callousness in this thread is horrific.

Cavagirl · 10/04/2021 12:01

*I rang the places up..

Some companies then accused me of being the debtors wife/girlfriend...

They found my name online and then attached my name to the account...*

Yes the trouble is, you engaged with them. Once they've got a whiff of a real person they will start chasing you as well. I'm not saying that's right or your fault, the industry on average is dreadful. But getting yourself involved in someone else's debt is rarely a trouble-free course of action.

Still on this thread no one has really answered me why people find receiving debt collection letters addressed to someone else so stressful. I don't see people having the same response to clothing catalogues or any other mail. It's 5 minutes of your day to chuck in the bin or repost. Given the judgement on this thread towards the niece I suspect there's something to do with the idea of debt being associated with an address of yours being shameful etc. But if it's not your debt, why do you care?

As PP said it would indeed by ironic if OP has now attached herself as a contact person for the debt and receives even more correspondence, now addressed to her, as a result of frankly sticking her oar in.

Ebonix · 10/04/2021 12:12

"Had children young so got into debt" Confused

Nowhere has the OP said that the neice got into debt because she had children young, so that's clearly a negative judgement and assumption made there.

Why doesn't it surprise me that a young woman with mental health problems, disabled children and debt would be ripped to shreds on here.

Disgusting.

poptartsarefood · 10/04/2021 12:28

Well done OP on getting it sorted. Ignore all the plastic Peggy Mitchell wannabes going on about snitching and dobbing in (pathetic).

Belladonna12 · 10/04/2021 12:56

[quote IamtheDevilsAvocado]@Belladonna12

Please don't minimise my upset and distress at this... Yes it absolutely DID happen... Or are you one of those people who refuse to believe anything unless it happened to them..?? And believe that there aren't some lazy oafs to try and clear up outstanding debt by attaching it to someone else?? (only up thread someone paid someone else's debt to stop them hassling them...)

Apart from living at the address... No reason to assume at all..... I've never been in debt in my life.

My name is completely different to the person too...

Some fuckwit attached my name to the account... Not exactly difficult to do...[/quote]
How would they even know your name to attach it to the debt? If anything, your story is more of a reason to stay out of it. There's no way I would give my name to debt collectors.

jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 13:00

@Whiskyinajar

write "no longer at this address return to sender" and pop them back in a postbox. They will eventually stop coming,
We went through that one countless times on this thread, Whisky. It made no impression, the op wanted to give up her niece's address to the debt collectors and there was no stopping her.

I think it is very sad and only hope the niece 'goes missing' and/or changes her name before the collectors come calling.

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 13:03

Is it just me, that hopes, this Thread fills up soon, to stop the same suggestion being repeated time and time again? Its like nobody read the Thread. Confused

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 13:05

I think it is very sad and only hope the niece 'goes missing' and/or changes her name before the collectors come calling.

You're still hoping she goes missing? what is wrong with you?

Ebonix · 10/04/2021 13:12

She clearly didn't mean 'goes missing' in the way it has been interpreted.

To me that translates to the neice going off the debt collectors radar / they can't find her.

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 13:17

@Ebonix

She clearly didn't mean 'goes missing' in the way it has been interpreted.

To me that translates to the neice going off the debt collectors radar / they can't find her.

and how do you do this with several kids and furniture ?

Ebonix · 10/04/2021 13:20

and how do you do this with several kids and furniture?

With difficulty, but people relocate all of the time. That's clearly what the PP meant.

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 13:21

@Ebonix

and how do you do this with several kids and furniture?

With difficulty, but people relocate all of the time. That's clearly what the PP meant.

it's not clear at all so I disagree.
Swipe left for the next trending thread