To think there is too much pressure to formula feed?

[daffodilsandprimroses]

I’ve been considering making this post for a while but was worried about being flamed - I probably will be.

I am definitely not speaking to or about the women who made a choice to formula feed, either from the start or after trying breastfeeding and deciding it wasn’t for them.

I am talking about the women like me who really wanted to breastfeed and tried.

I found the midwives were very quick to leap to pushing formula once breastfeeding wasn’t working. When ds lost weight after birth rather than helping support me to feed him we were put on a feeding plan involving formula.

Why is there no support for breastfeeding?

I haven’t read the full thread but I completely agree with you OP.

The message is, “Breast is best”.....until there are problems and suddenly the professional ‘advice’ is “get the formula!”

It’s ridiculous.

Women should be supported and helped to breastfeed, but more often than not they aren’t, and are then left with the emotional repercussions of that.

The UK has so much breastfeeding support. There's an entire week dedicated to it. NHS run breastfeeding support groups

My experience of NHS breastfeeding support was “shall we get formula? Give you a break?”

There’s no real help, and no real education beyond “breast is best”.

Most women I know gave up because their support networks all told them that if they gave formula their baby would sleep better, they could share the feeding, there was no need to martyr themselves, etc etc. I was told by family breastfeeding was unhygienic and if my newborn wasn’t going 4 hours between feeds chances are it was my milk not “good enough”.

I successfully breastfed by ignoring all the “advice” and just feeding. Had I found it unbearable I would have happily switched, but I managed ok with the frequent feeding and being tied to the couch. It was other people that had a problem with it. I should be “getting my life back” not sitting around breastfeeding...

Breastfeeding is free. The definition of the word free is the following 'without cost or payment
You don't pay for breastmilk, so it is free, unless of course you decide to buy pumps and bras etc but that's a choice. Breast milk is free. Fact.
And even if someone says you need to buy food to produce breastmilk, still not necessarily true. Breastfeeding was a fantastic weightloss tool.

I agree theoretically you could stay home naked all day and not need any breastfeeding clothing. But most women will end up buying at least a few nursing bras. It would be interesting to compare average spend over the first year - I suspect breastfeeding actually ends up being quite expensive for many, especially for those who pump

I don’t see how the cost could really be comparable? A PP said formula feeding costs her around £250 per month. I spent £250 on a hands free breast pump, £60 on nursing bras, £40 on reusable breast pads and maybe another £60 on bottles for expressed milk and milk storage bags for the freezer. So £410 to date, and unlikely to spend anything else (except maybe more freezer bags, but they aren’t expensive). Oh wait, I’ve also spent maybe £14 - £20 on breastfeeding vitamins, I probably need to get a new £7 every couple it months. I didn’t buy any specific breastfeeding clothes because I don’t need them. A vest pulled down under your top pulled up does the trick.

I’m totally pro any woman feeding her baby in whatever way is safe and works for her. But I don’t think an argument can be made out that breastfeeding is more expensive than formula feeding, especially if you’re also including the cost of bottles / sterilisers / prep machines.

@JenerationH it's definitely not just you, it's always been a huge problem with discussing infant feeding.

I think in general we do a poor job talking about risk when it comes to decisions for babies. I'd normally say knowledge is power but as a mum it often feels like all threats and no nuance.

Take safe sleeping, you can't cosleep because it's really dangerous but you can't let them cry it out before x months because you'll scar them for life but you must make sure you don't accidentally fall asleep holding them because I can tell you a story of a baby who died that way.

What good is that? How does it help me come to a decision? Am I really going to be capable of an academic meta-analysis of the literature on that amount of sleep?

It's not always without cost though, is it? That's the point
A women's time is worth something.

Of course it is, but isn’t this true of formula too? Breastfeeding isn’t generally more time consuming than bottle feeding. It might even be quicker, because you don’t have to make up a bottle.

People don't pay for time no. People pay people to do things with their time, but time of itself isn't worth money, so breastfeeding or walking in the park, or sleeping, or any of the things we do with our time isn't a waste of our money.
A missed opportunity to earn money? Perhaps, but most people don't regard feeding their kids as a missed opportunity to earn money.

You know you're being ridiculous
I will get back to you with a study. I'm itching to log in to medicine direct but I need my laptop. I'd better stop neglecting my kids now though.

But this isn’t a bf vs ff debate jeneration

It is simply that I think for women who want to breastfeed, support to do so successfully should be provided rather than formula being the first port of call.

@JenerationH

Have I wandered into a twilight zone where people are unaware that the time women take off for childrearing and the knock on effects to their finances is Not A big Deal?!

That is not because of breastfeeding, though.

@JenerationH since when does time taking off to look after kids have anything to do with breastfeeding? Formula feeding mother's take time off too you know and also have to feed their babies. Jeez.

It is simplistic if you want to do one over the other though.

As I’ve said, a woman who wanted to formula feed being told she had to breastfeed would be justified in being upset but for some reason it’s acceptable when it’s the other way around.

And the person doing it would be doing it for free, would they?

Of course it is, but isn’t this true of formula too? Breastfeeding isn’t generally more time consuming than bottle feeding. It might even be quicker, because you don’t have to make up a bottle

Yep, ime a breastfeed is far quicker than making up a bottle, washing, and sterilizing. It is also far quicker getting ready to go out- all I ever took was nappy, wipes and a muslin. Easier than finding a clean bottle, measuring formula portions, making a flask of hot water, and packing a bag up and having to carry it round. Then getting home, unpacking, washing and resterilising.

@FudgeSundae, yes, I agree. Women should not be 'protected' from the realities of breastfeeding. Better antenatal education would ensure that women were more prepared for the challenges and realities of breastfeeding, both so that decisions can be based on this, but also so they are not blindsided should challenges occur.

Its all part of the lack of respect for pregnant and postpartum women who are so often treated like children by the people look after them. It's no good ramming breast is best at people and then being surprised when they don't want to resort to formula.

@stayathomer I was surprised by the medications I could take while breastfeeding. I did end up taking not-the-standard blood thinner with my DVT, but they just looked up alternatives and prescribed one. I don't drink anyway, but I heard "if you're sober enough to position the baby, you're sober enough to feed the baby". I was a bit but apparently it doesn't cramp your style as much as people think!

All this "is BF free or not" thing has reminded me of another thing I never heard discussed while pregnant: BF vs FF from a parental lifestyle perspective. I found BF to be extremely difficult and time consuming for the first few weeks, but once the baby "got it", it was incredibly convenient and quick. Top up, baby on. Bingo. It meant going out was really easy and it was easy to be spontaneous. I had less clutter and less washing up and a smaller nappy bag.

I'm not saying this is some clinching argument, but you do have to be realistic about the fact that actually the parents matter too and they are going to make some decisions based on their own convenience and that's OK. I think BF and FF have different kinds of convenience but everything is totally focused on what's best for baby and no one talks about what's best for mum and dad until mum is having an actual crisis. I had a much better time feeding our second because I had a realistic expectation of what it looked like so I powered through "the hump" on the promise of months of simple no fuss feedings.