to want some witty put-downs

[CheekyBastardPostman]

For the past year or so, the postman has been making comments to me whenever he has to knock on the door to deliver a parcel. It started with comments about whether I was still in my pyjamas or not, either “not getting dressed today then?” if I was still in them, or “Oh I see you’re not wearing your pyjamas today” if I was dressed by the time he turned up.

One day he asked if I ever leave the house – I wfh, and have done so for years, so yes I do leave the house, but not generally when I’m working.

Recently he made a comment about me being indoors, I said I was busy working, he said “your job isn’t a real job”. The job that required a postgrad, keeps me busy and pays enough for a nice life.

On Saturday I was walking through town with DH, walked past the postman on his rounds, who said “Wow, you’re not in your pyjamas AND you’re out of the house! It must be a bank holiday special! And you don’t have to pretend to work today!”, which I just ignored.

I told DH I’m just not going to answer the door from now on, he can just leave parcels outside, but DH said that was daft and I can’t not open the door to my own house just in case it’s the postman.

I’m sure the postman thinks this is all just fun banter, but it’s starting to really piss me off. I’d love to come up with a way to shut it all down, some great one-liner put-downs to each of these three topics that he keeps recycling, wearing pyjamas, being at home/work, having a real job, but I am drawing a blank.

Witty acerbic MNers, give me everything you’ve got

Don't engage. Ignore, take your parcel and close the door.

Would you not simply go with “please stop making personal comments, I don’t find it funny or welcome”.

If he keeps going just say you’ll have to make a complaint about him.

@ErrolTheDragon

But he seems to think he's above the OP and she has every right to lord it back if she can.

It would be counterproductive. The postie would label her 'stuck up cow', it would only make him feel his 'banter' was justified.

It might possibly be ok to coldly respond to a comment about PJs with 'and you're in your uniform, please could you behave professionally'.

Yeah you may have a good point there.

Sometimes the immediate good feeling can store up later problems.

"Do you comment on all the women in the neighborhood or is it just me?"

"I know you're trying to be funny but your comments about me are needless and it's unprofessional, so please stop making them."

I would try the comment I've suggested and then grey rock and be disinterested. If you try and do the witty response thing he'll view it as banter / call you stuck up / engage further. Even worse he'll probably think you're 'joining in' and fancy him.

I absolutely HATE that I had to add a 'please' and stop myself sounding overly polite because we've been conditioned not to challenge the menfolk. Ugh.

The good ol' MN classic 'do you mean to be so rude?!' and door slammed in his face.

Or, 'there's a reason I don't laugh when you make your comments- they're not funny.'

Or, be a bitch and complain to his boss/the sorting office where he works about his appalling attitude/unprofessionalism.

@ErrolTheDragon

Any engagement from you will 'reward' his behaviour, I'm afraid. Tbh with this sort of disrespectful, sexist git, I think you may need your DH to back you up... listen from out of sight and if the 'banter' starts, come out and tell the postman "STOP treating my wife so disrespectfully"

Either that or borrow a dog...

This just enforces the fact that we need a man to help us , nope we dont . Borrowing a dog on the other hand

Depending on my mood i would respond ;
Why do you feel the need to comment on what I am wearing everyday or presume to know what I do for a living ? (whatever his response is ) I do not appreciate your comments please stop.

Well what is the punch line ? .. . . . . oh so this was not a joke , that explains why you are not funny

Dripping in sarcasm you really do think you are funny dont you ., , , , NOPE

Just go ‘uh-huh’, and close the door. He’s doing this to get a reaction, any reaction is positive reinforcement. An non-committal ‘uh-huh’ says more than many of these, quite frankly, flirtatious responses. Do not feed the troll.

'I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny?, but actually you're just being really rude'

Oh god! I really hate this kind of thing. I used to go into a supermarket on the way home and the guy who worked the self scan tills used to come into the pharmacy I worked in.

ONCE!! I mean once!! He had to approve my purchase of a bottle of wine I was buying as a gift from a friends birthday and from then on he made constant jokes and comments about me being an alcoholic or party girl.

I started going out my way to a different shop to avoid him and hiding behind the counter at work so I didn’t have to interact with him.

I just think some men get a kick out of belittling women. I don’t think this guy consciously wanted to put me down, I think he thought we were friendly and having “banter”.

The trouble with men and “banter” is that they use this as an excuse to be arseholes and if you don’t join in your a stuck up.

I think the best way to deal with it is just eye roll and shut the door.......... ----or maybe say oh fuck of Postman Twat

This just enforces the fact that we need a man to help us , nope we dont .

We certainly shouldn't, but a thick skinned sexist git might take some notice of a man if you've got one available.

@ErrolTheDragon

This just enforces the fact that we need a man to help us , nope we dont .

We certainly shouldn't, but a thick skinned sexist git might take some notice of a man if you've got one available.

Exactly.

Postman Twat made me laugh .

Full eye contact. "Awwww, always have to make a comment don't you?" Take parcel, step back and shut door without another word.

My response would be "AHAHAHA! Funny fucker aren't you?" but you're right taking the high ground with someone like this.

No funny one liners BUT if you search Royal Mail memes in Google Images it will give you a chuckle. Maybe he fancies you and it's his retarded way of showing interest. Or he could be angry because you don't have to fill those little red slips out 50 or more times per day, be chased by dogs or wear shorts in winter that makes you look like one of the Krankies (the ones near me where shorts in snow).

@Arrowheart

Don't engage. Ignore, take your parcel and close the door.

Perfect. He’s just a bit annoying and attention seeking. Shut him down.

So do you have a phd? is your post addressed to Dr @CheekyBastardPostman

He's probably trying to put you back in your place if you're a dr

Just don’t engage at all. Take the parcels and ignore him completely.

No need for any whitty responses or cruel put downs, he may not realise what he is doing. Put ur big girl pants on and just say ‘that enough now with the wise cracks about what I’m wearing and doing’ that should put an end to it.

@Candleabra

Stop bothering what he thinks. Own your life choices and stop giving a toss.

The only decent piece of advice. If you use any of these 'witty' suggestions you'll look like a silly snob trying to be hilarious.

(Snob because so many of the suggestions are along the lines of 'my income is higher than yours.' It is great to see how many of you view those doing essential jobs that you all benefit from :) )

Either, "whatever" with a sickly sweet smile, or "you really need some new material" as though you are speaking to a five year old.

Say is it just the females on your round who are treated to your 'witty' comments? Make commas with fingers

I suggest you keep your comments to yourself or I will need to send the dossier of your previous 'witty' comments to your employer. Do the finger comments again.

Good morning postie 😃
Good morning still in your pjs?
Yes I work nights as a comedian 😉
and an impressionist.
I was just going to do an impression of a twat..... but you beat me to it 🤣🤣🤣🤷‍♀️