I'm a grown up, but not a real one...

[PeapodBurgundy]

I'm just sat wondering if I'm ever going to feel like an adult? I'm 32, I have a long term partner, two DC (with aforementioned partner), a mortgage and I've just gone back to work as a teacher after being a SAHP. I still like I'm blagging/faking my way through adulthood. I don't feel like a real grown up at all, so I'm starting to think I never will.

Does anyone feel like a "proper" adult?

I'm 50/50

I ACT like an adult: I'm 40's, have a child, C-Suite job, own property, married. I dress like an adult, know how to host a dinner party and lay a good table. Am organised AF, I have monogrammed notecards for the Love of God.

But I FEEL like I'm about 20, whoever said it was okay for me to be in charge was misguided. I still hunger for mild civil disobedience, festering in bed all weekend, and spending my cash on going out and things to wear (when going out). It's pure luck no one has outed me yet as a big silly baby.

I always felt the same but it all changed within a few years. My mum died, I got married, bought a house, had a child and now my dad is seriously ill and I take care of him. I definitely feel like a adult nowadays.

I'm 40 in a few days, still making it up as I go along, it's just the stakes are higher.

I was initially hoping I'd feel like a proper grown up when I moved into a new decade, but it seems not!

Nope, am 43 and still not got the hang of this adulting lark but I manage to fake it ok a lot of the time ----(then I let myself down disgracefully)

@Iampicklerick Can I come to play? You sound awesome and I want to be your friend!

31 here and winging it 👋

2 dcs and still feel like I’m a fraud and an actually still only 18. I had ds young (just before turning 21) so think it’s partly because of that.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

I get confused when people call me Mrs Tattsyrup, because that’s my mother in law.

The only reason I’m used to Mrs BeingATwat is because I’m a teacher so I hear it constantly.

Young people are so rude nowadays

It’s a bit like an age related imposter syndrome!
I’m 57 and occasionally I’ll be doing something relatively normal eg driving and think OMG I am actually doing this and am ok at it and a ‘real grown up’
Mad

I'm 39 and find it odd when I tell my parents that I'm working on X day. Work is for my parents not for me!! I also have a house, car two cats and a good job. I still do t geek like an adult!

Feel like!

My friend said the first time she felt like an adult was when she found a grey pube.

HTH.

I'm 34, married, house, 3 dc and a management level job. I still feel at times like I'm playing at being an adult, it's the oddest feeling.

I often look at women in their mid 40's and think that they seem like proper grown ups and wonder if I'll feel like I am in 10 years!

I feel the same. I feel like I still need taken care of, like a little girl playing grown-ups.

What’s worse is I look really young. I’ve been mistaken for my son’s big sister a couple of times - mortifying.

I realised recently that I keep assuming that the parents of other children the age of mine are older than me, when they're not (I had mine at a very average age), it's just that I think of them as grown ups and me and DH as not.

FurrySlipperBoots Ahhh of course you can! I still text my mates “are you playing out, I’ll knock for you” I need to calm it at the park tbh, I hurt my back last time.

Also sometimes I’m driving alone and suddenly think “fuck I’m a kid, I don’t have a licence!!!!”

And then realise of course I do, I’m a grown up ffs

I'm a 64 year old who leaves her crusts.

Sometimes I feel like a grown up but more than that I struggle with every day responsibilities. I have 2 dc a mortgage and a fiancée weve been together from we were 15 however i still feel about 20 were getting married next year and i am bricking it.

I don't feel like an adult.

I've been married and divorced; I have a child; I've nursed a relative through terminal illness. I've a doctorate and I've published a book; my work gets taught to students; there's a legacy (I guess). But I've never owned my own home, though, and I've never had a permanent job (I wish!).

A few years ago my DP got proper flu - I got home from work to find him practically delirious with fever, and was afraid by how ill he seemed. I called my work friend because she is a proper grown up, mid-50s with adult children, and would know what to do. At the time I was 45. (She did know though, and we all lived to tell the tale.)

LOL, OH MY DARLIN', I'm now 68 years old, and still faking "grown-up." I get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and think, "Where in the hell did this old woman come from?" My first reaction when something happens is, "Where are the grown-ups? I should not have to handle this!" My second one is, "Oh, spit! That would be me..."

Completely agree. I had Dd late at age 40 (43 now) and up until then I was basically an overgrown teenager 🤣degree, live abroad, teacher, mortgage, 20 year relationship etc etc..but still I felt like I was so young and often playing at being grown up.
Since Dd came along, I am more of a grown up and feel it..it’s boring and I much preferred my extended adolescence feeling previously.
Like a previous poster, I always used to go to other people’s homes of a similar age (when tutoring their kids etc) and feel they were so much older, with all their shit together and like I was about 22. some were a few years younger 😬
Also, if we were at a party (pre covid) and all the adults were stood around discussing mortgages and taxes and pensions etc, I sometimes had this strange feeling like I’m 17 and what am I doing here, I also feel like shouting ‘This is boring, let’s just get shitfaced and have fun..I never do of course. At work I always felt everyone else had it together more than I did, and lots of the time I just wanted to have a laugh. I still don’t want to work unless I have to and would love to just have adventures and day drink.

Up until I was pregnant, I still binge watched 90’s shows like 90210, got drunk and listened to music from my teens, wanted my mum when I was ill and ate childhood comfort foods.
I find it hard to keep up with all the adult things I’m ‘Supposed’ to have, and am reminded of this when my parents come to visit. I’ve never owned a bread bin, garlic crushed, scales, towel holder, only recently got a shower curtain etc. I have no idea how to defrost my freezer, wtf, don’t iron (although I can) don’t have a calendar on my kitchen wall (mum was aghast at this

I didn’t feel like an adult when I got a degree, I didn’t feel like an adult when I bought a house, I didn’t feel like an adult when I had a child. I always thought I would. But I did feel like an adult the day my mother died and I realised I was the oldest person in my immediate family. I was 24. With no parents or grandparents left, it was just me, younger siblings and some odds and ends of cousins. I think I might have felt like a grown up since then, but don’t tell anyone.

Don’t grow up it’s a trap!

I’m in my thirty’s, newly single with a mortgage and a responsible job, at work I’m a responsible adult at home I feel I need a more adultly adult! Since the breakdown of my relationship a month ago I’ve learned new skills around the house but really feel like I’m winging it with no more ideas then when I was in my 20’s.

Like other posters I have a fair amount of life experience with work, nursing elderly relatives etc but still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing

Totally feel the same Sometimes. Mid thirties, family, mortgage, professional leadership Job.

I still feel like a teenager a lot of the time. If I turned up at a secondary school tomorrow I feel like I could totally do school again (but better than I did as an actual teen).

It was only when I went on a cruise a few years ago and kept wondering why I was seeing children everywhere that my oh had to point out that they were all atleast 18 as if was an adults only cruise. They looked so young (even though I feel similar age in my head).

As it* was an adults only cruise .