AIBU to wonder what people expect kids of teen mums to be like

[Troublewaters2021]

Previous thread aside as that has been sorted. It interested me that people were almost jumping on me because my son who is 14 ( I had when I was 15 )

Plays rugby and water sports including polo and sailing.

I literally pay no more than 50.00 a month for this and a few times a year uniform etc.

Surely this is no difference than say a 29 year old ( how old I am now ) paying 50.00 a month for their 4 year old to ballet ?

Why can’t he play rugby etc because I was going when I had him.

I am not angry about it etc I am just a tad curious . I am 29 now it’s not like I stayed 15 ?

Thanks for your kindness I’m quite vulnerable at the moment and last night I was defo questioning things !

I was given an old fashioned name because my teen mother thought everyone was expecting her to name me something silly. Its not Edna dont get me wrong, it isnt dreadful!

Haha weirdly my kids all have I think have ordinary older names

Think
Henry
Beatrice
And Charlotte

( not their actual names but you know what I mean (

Can’t speak from a teen mum perspective but I have been single for 14 years and I have heard it all. From a woman with a boy who’s hair was down to his waist telling me to get my 5 year old’s hair cut because ‘people will talk’ (hair was o reduce a cut by a couple of weeks at that point), to another gushing how amazing I was because I ‘didn’t look like a single parent, I would be so miserable if it was me’ and the piece de resistance ‘oh I would love to be a teacher but I can’t because I have a husband’ . Still don’t know how I stopped myself from saying no love, you need half a brain to teach which clearly rules you out’. I have heard ‘how can she afford that’ behind my back when I bought a new car and was once literally sniffed at on the doorstep of my (owned outright, no mortgage) home by my son’s friend’s mother who said ‘I suppose we’re paying for you to live here’. She ignored me in the playground after that.

People don’t like it when you challenge their stereotype of how they believe you should be based on your job title or marital status or age you conceived. So many have a ‘that couldn’t be me’ attitude and if you are vaguely successful with some kind of challenging starting point, the realisation is it could be me and that’s uncomfortable. Hence the need to put you in your place.

YANBU op. I was a young mum and my kids have had tutors for years and people always seem surprised.

Specially when you are a single teen mum people expect you to be poor for some mad reason.

If I want to know what the child of a teen mum is like I look in the mirror.

I don't think people judge others for having a young mother.

My DD got pregnant at 15. All help offered to her assumed she was illiterate. That her parents were alcoholic, drug pushers who were probably in jail.

Don't know what thread you're referring to op, but I completely understand your experiences as a young parent myself. Many (not all!) people have outdated and small-minded assumptions about young parents, about parenting choices, my finances, support I did or didn't get, my dcs abilities etc. Some just can't wrap their heads around it

Perhaps the non-believers think rather highly of themselves and send their own DC to polo and sailing. They then like to brag about how well the DC are doing at their 'selective' sports clubs.

Then you come along - a normal everyday woman who just happened to keep her son when she got caught out as a teen. How very DARE she send her son to these sports!