Mother in law is a copycat.

[Loliie]

Me and my partner moved into our first house over a year ago and we chose a lovely grey checked wallpaper for our feature wall in our livingroom. Everyone loved it except my MIL she hated it. But yesterday she sent us photos of her kitchen that has been freshly decorated with our exact wallpaper that she hated so much. Last year I bought myself new glasses and she said “they aren’t nice at all” and then she bought the same ones a few months later in a different colour. I’m unsure if she’s jealous or just a bitch

Some people on here really must have questionable personalities because they are just ignoring that she’s been horrible to me and focusing on the fact I’m offended she copied my wallpaper

PS. have you read Susan Forward's book Toxic In-Laws? Despite its emotive title it's a useful tool for shutting down this kind of behaviour without resorting to WW3. I'd thoroughly recommend it.

I’ll have a look into that. I’ve tried for years to just put my head down and deal with everything. She’s never been nice. We struggle with fertility issues and had a miscarriage last year and she basically said she believes it’s my fault. Yes the wallpaper thing is petty but it really is just the straw that broke the camels back

@Loliie

I’ll have a look into that. I’ve tried for years to just put my head down and deal with everything. She’s never been nice. We struggle with fertility issues and had a miscarriage last year and she basically said she believes it’s my fault. Yes the wallpaper thing is petty but it really is just the straw that broke the camels back

I understand. My in-laws did a similar thing to me and I did what you're doing for nigh-on 20 years; i.e. tried to pretend it wasn't happening.

Their behaviour when my DM died and when I too suffered a succession of miscarriages is something I can't look past. Of course with people like this it ends where it was always going to end: VLC.

Some people, you can simply do nothing with. And there's a peace that can come from an acceptance of that fact. I dropped the rope and now allow DH to manage that relationship for him and the DC, without my input.

It's sad and not what I wanted for any of us. But what is, is.

@ShipshapeShore sorry but the OPs situation is much worse

OP, the best outcome to all of these scenarios is to adopt the moral higher ground. She may not be able to concede that what you like, she likes.
But to stop feeling churned up about it means taking it as a tacit compliment, and not addressing it and moving on. So, not to engage when she says less than complimentary things, just to keep quiet and know that you are doing what you want, if she copies you, fine.
It takes away the churning resentment and keeps you feeling good and peaceful.
Inward resentment does not lead to inward happiness, I have discovered this for myself. You'll never change her, but you can change how you feel about these scenarios, so you don't find yourself ruminating. It worked for me.

@ShipshapeShore

At least yours didn't decide that your honeymoon destinations sounded nice and then book up to go first! It was my first ever abroad holiday and I was so excited, I must admit it took the shine off a bit having to be all excited for them and then look at all their pictures before we went. These type of things wouldn't usually bother me but that did.

That would really piss me off

You've described my mother in law exactly, right down to the miscarriage. Ignore her and call out her hypocrisy. She needs standing up to -a few well placed sharp comments should help.

Seems like mumsnet attracts bitches! Sorry if that's sexist. But come on. I only read a few answers. Your MIL is a bitch because she likes your taste? No the OP clearly stated that she she put down her taste, then bought the exact same thing!
You all pick on the slightest thing to have a go.
It's ridiculous.
OP. I had a mother in law like this. I started telling her I was going to buy the most ridiculous things. And sat back while she rushed to buy it first.

She does sound quite odd, op

@Loliie

I’ve mentioned to my partner that she previously didn’t like it and he says just to take it as a compliment but it’s very annoying. She’s the type of women who can’t compliment other women it’s always back handed or straight up rude.

Please ignore me if this is a typo/autocorrect but it’s “She’s the type of womAn”. You would never say “He’s the type of men”. See this a lot on here where people don’t know the difference between a woman and women and just had to say, sorry.

When she shows you what she's done or what's she's got, tell her it looks shit and see what she comes back with.

If she says "well you've got that", tell her that's why you did it, because you knew she'd would copy. Very petty I know, but you could really have some fun messing with her here.

Just imagine how insecure MIL must feel to do this. Some may pity her. Certainly she is no threat, be the better person and pretend you haven’t noticed.

@Trumplosttheelection

It's no surprise she doesn't like you when you clearly loathe her

Yawn. Look dearie, you're going to have to up your 'I am so much better than you' game - your current lines are as old as the hills. Maybe try some new material?

I get your frustration I am a newly bride and my mil getting married the SAME YEAR as us as well as picked a dress that was one of my options and not to mention stole every last inch of my wedding colors I don’t know how to take this matter either

@Stags401

I get your frustration I am a newly bride and my mil getting married the SAME YEAR as us as well as picked a dress that was one of my options and not to mention stole every last inch of my wedding colors I don’t know how to take this matter either

How dare she get married in the same year? (you of course have the entire year reserved just for you- indeed why not block out the next year as well)

She's both; jealous and a bitch.

Also pathetic.

My mum did some things in her house in a very similar way to us - I really don't think she realised where she got the ideas from! I took it as a compliment.