Mother in law is a copycat.

[Loliie]

Me and my partner moved into our first house over a year ago and we chose a lovely grey checked wallpaper for our feature wall in our livingroom. Everyone loved it except my MIL she hated it. But yesterday she sent us photos of her kitchen that has been freshly decorated with our exact wallpaper that she hated so much. Last year I bought myself new glasses and she said “they aren’t nice at all” and then she bought the same ones a few months later in a different colour. I’m unsure if she’s jealous or just a bitch

@Loliie have you heard of ''levellers'' or maybe the behavior of levelling. (If you're googling).

It comes from insecurity and levellers will always try and make the playing field even. She sees you as in the lead and she's trying to make things even. It's all unconscious.

As a psychological experiment, try being complimentary to her in the areas where she is secure in herself.

Saying she disliked your son's name is just rude. Sounds like she enjoys getting a rise out of you. Daft mare she is.

Have you ever said anything to her? Like “oh you said you hated that wallpaper, I’m surprised you went for it too?”, what would she say back?

YANBU by the way, it would piss me off too

And....imitation is the sincerest form of flattery 😁

My sister in law is the same but I have very very specific examples of things she’s copied, where as this wallpaper sounds just generic enough for her to pass it off as just fitting in with the trend. I now - don’t tell her anything, scatter anything I do tell her with vagueness, go overboard with praise of everything she mentions so she sticks with her own thing because she thinks I like it, and avoid at every opportunity.

WiseOwlOne That is so interesting! I am off too google that now.

I wouldn’t let this fizz me for a second. Let her get on with it, or say something like ‘Oh that’s beautiful- that wallpaper is the same as the one we have in our living room. I thought you hated it!” Her continual desire to put people down is everything to do with her and her insecurities and nothing to do with you.

Start pretending to like shit stuff.

I don't really understand some of the comments in here OP, I'm with you.

If she liked it enough to have it herself, the kind throng would have been for her to tell you how nice it was when you had it. She went out of her way to make you feel bad for no reason other than she just maybe isn't very nice

I'm all for 'Rise above it' but you're a better woman than me if you can resist pointing it out.

I wouldn't give a shit.

Then again, I don't see much of mine. Perhaps if you live in each other's pockets it would be annoying.

Copycat 😂

You should definitely run into her garden shouting "I'm telling my mum on you, big meanie copycat"

This reminds me of a mother at my child's school who admired my very brightly coloured jacket and guess what? A week later she appeared wearing an almost identical one. I took it as a compliment and just found it slightly amusing.

Just say
So you've put this wallpaper in your kitchen.
Interesting.
So you like xxx as a middle name. Interesting.

It's no surprise she doesn't like you when you clearly loathe her

@Wendyhause

This reminds me of a mother at my child's school who admired my very brightly coloured jacket and guess what? A week later she appeared wearing an almost identical one. I took it as a compliment and just found it slightly amusing.

I think though sometimes people are just first to jump on a trend but the trend is still out there tempting others too!

Jumping on a trend first in your circle is not a piece of art ykwim?

Saying that, I usually avoid an item I was considering if somebody I work with or am friendly with got there first.

Why does it bother you? It’s actually pretty funny especially if she is complaining about your bad taste in the first place.

I know 3 people with grey checked wallpaper in livingrooms/bedrooms. Pretty common, these are usually the ones on display so most likely to be picked.

To add

I have also been the copier! If I admire something in someone's home or a style they wear then if I want to do or buy the same then I will. Nothing is exclusive! We do it if we see and admire things we like in photos or magazines so what is the big difference doing it if we see stuff in our friends' or family's homes (or on their backs)

how is she a bitch?

I don’t think calling her a bitch is very pleasant to be honest. Her behaviour is odd, but I think yours is worse.

I wouldn’t call her out on it just use it as a way to have some fun with her
“Oh, I love your wallpaper - I guess you came round to liking it at ours then?!”
“Snap, we both clearly have great taste in glasses!” Etc

@DrSbaitso

Start pretending to like shit stuff.

good idea

How old are you OP?

Agree with @zigaziga
I would jokingly remind her of her past comments.
I personally never understood why people get annoyed at being "copied". It literally just means you have good tastes...

Grow up for goodness sake, is that all in life you have to be annoyed at?