I'm so lonely

[indecis]

Posting for traffic, it's not much of an AIBU. Had a horrible conversation with my boyfriend last night and I can't even begin to find the words to tell my friends. So now I just feel very isolated and alone. The conversation was basically me saying I felt sick, him asking if I was pregnant then spending a good 10 minutes telling me it would ruin his life if I was (not something I want either but let's be honest, accidents can happen even when I'm on the pill) followed by him telling me to get an abortion. I don't think I am pregnant as it happens but will do a test in the morning to find out, the pill I'm on means I never have periods so it's understandably a bit worrying if I suddenly feel sick. However - wow, way to jump the gun. I don't really want to think about whether to leave him or not at the moment, just need a hand hold to be honest. And to say it out loud.

I'm not usually too gushy but you sound lovely OP! You've definitely got your head screwed on

See I think that going for the loudest man in the room might be where you are going wrong. I reckon the kind empathetic men will be encouraging others to talk /actively listening to others rather than just being the life and soul of the party. Dh is one of the kindest people I know. He's great company in a pub and is brilliant at getting a group to gel, but he does it as a conversation rather than being the floor show. He's also the first one to look out for others /walk them to their bus/put them in a taxi etc. And if I'm ill he's there. I used to go for the loud ones many years ago when I was at uni and it's quite scary to find just how many of the men I fancied at 18/19 look far less attractive as partners now. And the loudest of them then now has several drink driving convictions as well as having had numerous affairs before his wife ltb.