To really hate it when friends and family ask me for legal advice?

[FixxerUpper]

I’m a solicitor. This is something that has always bugged me but it seems to be happening a lot right now.

I feel like every time I speak to friends and family someone asks me for legal advice. Usually on the area of law in which I practice, but not always (I know as much about family law as the next person...).

I hate it. I mean I have nothing against helping people out if I can but I find it stressful and to be honest cheeky as fuck.

What if my advice is incorrect? I rarely know the full background to the issue at hand. I haven’t read the documents you’re referring to. I had a rare day off the other day and my mum phoned me to ask for advice ffs. It sounds stupid but it’s really getting to me!

I have a doctor friend who unsurprisingly has the same issue.

Please. Stop doing it.

I wish I had thought of the insurance one, although I do say this is advisory only. It’s also often a drip feed of can you advise on this, which then turns into can you help on this? Or it turns out to be a lot more complicated. I have started to say no when it turns to help but really only since I felt totally taken advantage of.

I wouldn’t ask a friend or relative for a free haircut, a massage, to hang doors in my house or service my car. Although @Wotsnewpussycat my mother was a nurse and I can recall many a child lying on her kitchen table having butterfly stitches or wounds tended to etc.

I get a lot of requests for things I know nothing about but almost none on my actual area of expertise on which I would be more than happy to help. No matter how many times I explain my family cannot understand what I actually do.

I think it's odd that you object to giving advice to friends and family.

I mean, you're cross at your mum ffs!

I'm a teacher - asked about deadlines for school applications, age-related expectations, what to do about school issues/complaints, what to do about suspected SEN. During lockdown, was often sent homelearning stuff with questions - 'what's a fronted adverbial?' Or 'Can you just check Tom has done this right?'

It never, ever occurs to me to object. Why would I? They're my friends and family! If I don't know, I say so.

I try not to bother friends unless I can't see another way to answer the question, but surely most people would ask a friend for advice in their field of expertise.

I completely understand. I'm a nurse and always get asked about various medical things that aren't in my area of expertise.

I too worry if I give advice it's wrong . Could be nothing / could be sinister . I really don't know without doing the necessary tests etc.

I usually smile and say its my day off .

Car trouble - I wonder if Bob can point me the right direction
Cat been sick - Jodie is a veterinary nurse. Maybe she knows if it's worth a trip to the vet or if I should wait
Tesco doesn't have any pie crusts in stock - I'll ask John to look out for some on his next shift at the neighbouring Tesco

I think this is one of those things that can vary between groups because this really wouldn’t be usual for me or most of my friends and family. If my car wasn’t working I’d take it to a garage and if my cat was ill I’d ring the vets. I wouldn’t text someone I vaguely know to ask for advice.

I'm an accountant and view this as basically par for the course. I can check bits with my doctor friends, the GPs drop me a line to ask some informal questions about how tax years work or whatever. I call a tax accountant friend if I need something very specific, they ring me for advice on my specialty. My friend who is good with fixing things will come over and give some advice on sorting the bathroom out and I'll sort out mortgage advice for him because maths isn't his strong suit. I also used to witness a lot of documents :p

It's not huge amounts of time or expertise required except for family. My mum, dad, uncles and grandparents will have had countless hours of my time. Sometimes I'm sick of it, after a 60 hour week at work when I get asked to start digging through company accounts at 8pm on a Friday but they will always come through if I need them so it's just one of those things.

Say you can't give proper professional advice without access to all the documents, the full situation etc. And that going through that would take an entire half-day/day/week.

There s a very old joke on this, where a doctor and a lawyer discuss this at a party. The next day the doctor receives a bill for the advice given from the lawyer.

I asked my lawyer husband for legal advice the other day, first time I've asked in 25 years of marriage. He said he didn't know.

Doesn't bother me at all when friends and family ask me for legal advice. I also ask them if I need Pensions/Health advice.

It's what friends do isn't it?

I would draw the line at neighbours/acquaintances though.....

I understand what you mean. I would tell them that you’re on your day off as pp have said.

@trinibrit

I tell people my insurance will not cover any legal advice I give ad hoc but if they would like to make an appointment during office hours I will bill them at a “friends and family rate” which is a bit cheaper for them but means everything is above board. It separates out the chancers from those who really need advice.

That's along the lines of what I've heard a friend say to someone, that her professional indemnity insurance won't cover informal, ad hoc advice.

Say you are not insured to give advice outside of work (true), it is a breach of SRA rules (true) and if your employer found out you were giving uninsured advice free of charge you could lose your job (also true!). But I say all this and am also guilty of giving ad hoc legal advice from time to time - its awkward saying no isn't it!
I have got better though - stress has made me start prioritising myself and my immediate family in a way I didn't before. I don't even do work at a discount now - friends and family pay full price and I unusually try and and send them elsewhere anyway, its awkward working for family and friends. Also, if you do discounted work, if you're are targeted like me, you have to do more work to meet your target!
I have a joke with my family- if they ask me for legal advice I look at the clock and say, okay, clock is running, £250 plus vat per hour - where do I send the bill? It might sound a bit off but then I get to get on with my well earned time off!
And, in return, if I need professional advice or practical work done I find someone myself that
I don't have a personal relationship with.

@FixxerUpper

It’s not about being paid for the advice. It’s about being worried about giving the wrong advice. It’s also about not wanting to talk about work 24/7.

I know someone who is a professional xxxx, not exactly in your line of work, but close. The first thing her and her colleagues learnt on their degree course, was not to give out advice to family and friends socially. As you say in another post, you dont know all the ins and outs of their particular case, so there is a professional danger in doing so.

I think this is pretty normal, the trick is just managing these requests properly.

When I think of family/friends—rely on chartered surveyors, developers, doctors, teachers, accountants, IT, uni lecturers, lawyers, estate agents, etc.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong on asking a quick point of principle—like on this very basic list of facts, is the house price cheeky? To which you’ll get a guide on yes or no, probably with a name of who to speak to for detailed advice. It’s partly because you’re specialised but also because you’re trusted, more than a random solicitor paid for their time. Like often a family member from a profession can tell you in 30 seconds something that someone paid will drag out over sessions—like “don’t touch that house with a bargepole on those facts, structural issues are so severe I’d guess it’s like 50k. Here’s the name of a guy who can do a full survey of yours still interested, my advice is no.” Where as if you go to a surveyor you don’t know, you can end up up a garden path with unnecessary bills—they’ll say “let’s do a full survey, then a full consultation” when you needed a “good idea/bad idea” guide.

I don’t really understand this. Surely you’re just being asked your opinion, if you don’t know and it’s not your field just say I don’t know, it’s not my field.

My daughters a solicitor, still training, but Corp and commercial,I occasionally ask her opinion on something. So for example the previous owners had left something in thr garden of our house, I asked her if it was legally ours, so she explained the law and checked it out, but it was more her opinion I was seeking.

I seriously doubt all yout family and friends regularly need formal legal representation. So it’s more likely you’re just being asked an occasional opinion. If you don’t wish to give it or can’t then just say so.

Seriously all this drama.

Daily mail link but example of architect being sued after free advice.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6450601/amp/Architect-gives-free-garden-advice-neighbours-sue-300-000.html

I think you need to be more robust. I’m a Solicitor. I’d give basic advice if I could and point in direction of a solicitor who could assist. I wouldn’t ever read documents or give detailed advice you aren’t covered by indemnity insurance.

YABU. I'm a solicitor too and these issues are very easy to deal with. You give them a broad "this is what usually happens in these circumstances but can't advise on the detail" type answer and leave it at that. Everyone I know is happy with that. I also don't understand "it's my day off so can't talk about work even for 1 minute" attitude, do you hate your job that much that it cannot be spoken about on your day off? Because you have a big problem then.

I think it's just how it goes OP. Lawyers are asked for free legal advice, doctors get similar...

It wouldn't bother me if it was my mum but I can completely understand not wanting to talk about work in the evening or on a day off. I know someone who only seems to calm me now when she wants advice for herself or a friend. I know she'd help me if I needed it but I don't ask her for anything these days and I find her calls a bit of a drain so if I don't feel like talking I just tell her.

As for not giving the wrong advice surely you would just make clear you don't know the full situation (and perhaps don't want to know or don't have time for it) so can only give general advice.

@WhereamI88

YABU. I'm a solicitor too and these issues are very easy to deal with. You give them a broad "this is what usually happens in these circumstances but can't advise on the detail" type answer and leave it at that. Everyone I know is happy with that. I also don't understand "it's my day off so can't talk about work even for 1 minute" attitude, do you hate your job that much that it cannot be spoken about on your day off? Because you have a big problem then.

Agree.

Honestly op you’re coming across as a bit up yourself, like ,I’m so important” kind of thing. I’d be willing to bet good money it’s just you’re occasionally asked for your opinion on something and not you’re constantly being asked to give free serious legal representation. And any solicitor, going by my daughter and her colleagues/friends are quite capable of giving a broad answer with I’m not sure past that.

People also don’t value your skill. I learnt this when newly qualified working in a small firm. Owner of nearby fish & chip shop came in with an issue and my boss helped him for free. Would have been several hundred pounds if charging hourly rate. Next time boss was in the shop he paid for fish and peas then at last minute said oh can I have a few chips too - man said that’s 30p yet he’d had £300 free legal advice. Boss was incredulous but valuable lesson for me.

I'm a solicitor too and I tend to say as other posters have done, that my professional indemnity insurance doesn't cover me outside the workplace so i can't give "advice" (though I can share general knowledge if I can feel like it). I've learnt over the years that a lot of people are being cheeky and trying to get hundreds of pounds worth of advice/work for free, but barely have the time of day for me otherwise and can barely muster a thanks. I got sick of people taking the piss. On a couple of occasions in the past i ended up staying late at work to research stuff in the law library. One time the person moaned that it had taken me a week to find a spare evening. Another time I found the answer but it wasn't what the person wanted to hear so they moaned about that.
Well fuck that shit. Nowadays I just say I don't know the answer/not my specialism/ can't help.

For a genuine friend I will try to help especially if its straightforward like witnessing documents. Cheeky fuckers just get "sorry, no".

Just say it's not your area of law and they need to look for a solicitor who specialises in probate/family/property, etc to get a reliable answer.