Easter eggs- how would you react

[Oilpyi]

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

@Oilpyi it’s wasteful but you should have managed the situation. We always got lots of eggs and We were a large family of 6 siblings. If we got eggs via gifted like your DH we drew straws to pick one each and knew that was ours. We also knew which eggs were ours from relatives. So come Easter Sunday we knew we had x number of eggs and our parents would stand with us while we picked two eggs to open that day - one before dinner and one for the evening. Our parents would go outside and hide the eggs for us and we would have an Easter egg hunt. It was made clear to us it wasn’t a free for all!

You are unreasonable to complain that small children are behaving like children.

They absolutely should not have just taken all the second pile without asking/being offered and they do need a telling off about that.

@MarthaJonesPhone

Its appalling behaviour. They are old enough to know what they did was wrong.

I think I would take all the chocolate away, letting them have some when I decided.

I'd also give them a massive telling off, I would tell them I was disgusted by their behaviour and that they wouldn't be getting any Easter eggs next year.

I really don't think its funny as other posters have said. I just find it incredibly entitled.

Oh thank god, I was starting to worry I was the only one. I wouldn’t not give eggs the next year though.

The attitude of “kids and chocolate, what can you do, they literally can’t control themselves!” is bizarre. They’d “controlled themselves” for a few days while the eggs in the other room were there so they clearly can manage it, plus they knew they were not their eggs.

I did wonder if the older child/children would be influencing the younger ones.
I’d be disappointed too. Was there a similar scenario at Christmas or was this a first?
Try not to let it spoil your day. Lessons learned all round hopefully and everyone moves on.

They're kids - it's chocolate - you told them the Bunny's been - what in heaven's name did you expect? You're not just a misery -you're a misery without an ounce of common sense!

It isn't as if they have gone against specific instructions.

Do 11 year olds really need specific instructions for everything they shouldn’t do.

I would confiscate the vast bulk of the chocolate to leave them with less than they were given directly, even if it meant binning it, and withdraw some other treat/privilege. Possibly the youngest misunderstood,but the rest are quite old enough to know they were doing wrong.

Reminds me what a child my ex husband was, he'd have eaten all the eggs, left none for me and chocolate all over the floor for me to clean up. Its better to give children clear instructions though. They don't learn to be considerate without being taught from a young age.

It's a very interesting lesson for them in boundaries and impulse control. If you handle this nicely but point out what went wrong, hopefully they won't forget it.

I can clearly remember points in my childhood when I did selfish, shitty things and suddenly realised it (by having it pointed out to me, of course).

Consideration for others might be something we all learn gradually. In some ways I am probably still learning it!

Good luck OP and I hope you get to relax and enjoy some chocolate yourself today.

I think it’s your own fault for leaving them on the side you should have hidden them. Unless you explicitly said ‘Easter bunny has been, those are your eggs don’t touch the others’ then they probably just saw it as a free for all.

Awww they sound just like a group of kittens shredding and getting over excited, and leaving a mess behind! Honestly I wouldn't be too worried about it, nor angry. I think, have a laugh and some chocolate, if you can find any left!

You are right to be annoyed and right to tackle them about it, they are old enough to know what is and isn’t theirs, this needs to be made clear to them. I’d sit them down- without chocolate or distractions - and ask them to explain what happened and why. I would definitely remove all the chocolate and ration it out over the week with no more for today. I know it has been a hard year, I know it’s Easter but they have to know that what they have done is selfish and totally unacceptable.

I don't think it's their fault, OP - they didn't have clear instructions so they made an assumption that all the Easter eggs were for them. You had more eggs in the house than usual so there was no precedent.

Had you realised they might assume all the Easter eggs were for them to open, I'm sure you would have been more explicit in your instructions. And had they thought there was any doubt as to whether all the eggs were for them, they probably would have checked with you first.

It sounds like an unfortunate misunderstanding, nothing more.

Mine are a bit of a ruthless bunch but they'd not open all that pointlessly, they'd have no motivation for it, it's only chocolate!

[quote Oilpyi]@suniscoming they had a big pile on a chair expressly pointed out and surprised with. Told the bunny has been, pointed out and told to enjoy.
They other lot was in another room piled up and they’d seen it come home from work etc in drive and stand over the last week. They went and got it while I showered.[/quote]
I think this is different to what I originally assumed. Eating the chocolates which were put on a chair with a sign, fine. Eating eggs which had been put somewhere else is not OK. Sneaking in while you were in the shower shows they know they shouldn't have done it.

They were given clear instructions. OP said she told them the chocolate on the chair was theirs, so they had that. At no point did she indicate that the chocolate in the other room was theirs to share out
This is definitely not giving clear instructions. Not indicating something is not an instruction. An instruction is when you say, "these are your Easter eggs but please don't open the ones in the other room."

It's hard to tell. Having words with the 11 year old and 8 year old might be good parenting. Or your family might be craving a little fun and spontaneity and not want to feel a constant disappointment to you (this can be an issue, if you are self critical). As long as there's a balance.

I’ve had a chat. It was instigated and fully led by the 11 year old, with the others acting on direction

I find this a really strange way to talk about kids.

Kids get overexcited, they have a mob mentality when overexcited. You left them with a pile of chocolate in boxes and they went nuts. I can’t help but feel this is on you. Maybe you need to not set them up for failure and limit their access to things if they can’t control themselves.

I would also be pissed off but I think some of it is a visceral reaction to greed. Years ago, I had a party for one of my children (when big parties were still a thing so about 7-8?). I was still saying goodbye to the last guest when he rushed back into the living room and was tearing into his presents, one after the other. It was horrible and I was genuinely shocked. I think children can go a bit Lord of the flies sometimes.

Yeah it’s not the nicest behaviour and id be a bit pissed off if mine did that (mine are young primary aged and wouldn’t open an Easter egg without asking).
It’s not clear though, have they eaten all the chocolate? If not then it’s not ‘wasteful’, as the chocolate is still there to be eaten? They haven’t wasted anything.

The eldest one is eleven. At that age he absolutely shouldn’t have to be given word for word instructions on what to do. The other chocolate wasn’t even in the same room.

If people think that eleven year olds still need to be micro managed like babies then god help them when they go to secondary. How do people think they manage to get home alone after school or get to school in the first place? Do the parents sit them down and give them a word for word plan of how they should do things? “Remember, you need to cross that road not the other one, and you absolutely mustn’t stop to talk to your friend from the other school on the way. No, you mustn’t go to the shop on the way home for sweets, and this is what you’re supposed to have for dinner.”

If the eleven year old was the ringleader then I would hold him personally responsible and the punishment would be severe.

@MegBusset

"I'd also give them a massive telling off, I would tell them I was disgusted by their behaviour and that they wouldn't be getting any Easter eggs next year."

Urgh, this is horrible. Why even 'do' Easter if it's going to be used against them in this way, is this really how you want them to remember the day?

I still remember the Easter one of my siblings opened their egg early so none of us were allowed to have them. It is a really sad memory.

OP I would consider it a lesson learned that they are too young to have enough impulse control! Laugh, rescue some of the chocolate for yourself. And next year don't leave temptation in their way!

No its not horrible.

If you behave in such an appalling manner then there are consequences.

If you don't teach your children that certain behaviours have consequences then you bring up entitled children!

Those who claim I don’t have ‘an ounce of common sense’.

I’m thinking that if this behaviour is actually out of character and unusual enough for me to post about then maybe my parenting actually isn’t too bad.

They manage fine usually without constant supervision and help themselves to things daily, without me hiding stuff from them because they would otherwise take it all.

I think I’m shocked because it is out of character and not what I usually expect. They have in previous years been reasonable and for previous events. I do let them have quite free reign lost the time, and they are reasonable. I have a snack cupboard in reach etc and chocolate often on the side and nothing needs hiding,

Live and learn I guess. It wouldn’t happen next year simply because it happened this year.

I would have been cross too and there would have been a firm (not angry) chat about why it wasn't the right way to have behaved.

Yes children are impulsive and get carried away, and I'm not surprised the younger ones followed a ringleader. I wouldn't make a massive deal of it. It's expected that they will mess up but its our duty as parents to address that appropriately. Otherwise they'll hit adulthood with no idea of how to behave, because no one has taught them.

I think it's never too early for kids to learn that the adults in their lives are people with feelings, needs and wants too. Kids come first, mostly, fair enough. But parents aren't martyrs either!