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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Easter eggs- how would you react

456 replies

Oilpyi · 04/04/2021 10:02

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

OP posts:
VaVaGloom · 06/04/2021 10:55

@TheOneWithTheBigNose well they are all different aren’t they. One of my DC wouldn’t have made any mess /would have cleaned up afterwards. My other DC would leave a trail of chocolatey destruction - despite having the same reminders. OP would be fortunate indeed to have four children who didn’t make a mess breaking up multiple chocolate Easter eggs that are known to fracture - so not quite the same as sitting and eating a Freddo.

Norwaydidnthappen · 06/04/2021 10:58

I’d have been pissed off too but I would have made it absolutely clear we were donating the box in the other room so do not touch them. If you didn’t make this crystal clear then YABU because young children shouldn’t be expected to guess the rules.

MummyMayo1988 · 06/04/2021 12:18

I think that's pretty normal behaviour from children under the age of 11 🤷‍♀️
Kids love to rip things open and dive right in. My eldest DS is nearly 12 and still does this. I don't think it's spoilt, it's just pure excitement!

rainbowandglitter · 06/04/2021 12:38

@MummyMayo1988

I think that's pretty normal behaviour from children under the age of 11 🤷‍♀️ Kids love to rip things open and dive right in. My eldest DS is nearly 12 and still does this. I don't think it's spoilt, it's just pure excitement!
I don't think that's normal behaviour for an 11 year old. I have an 11 year old and he wouldn't do this in a million years. They had a pile of their own Easter eggs then went in another room and found more so decided that they were for them too. Not only did they open the eggs they found in a different room, they made a massive mess and put chocolate in the floor. Shock I'm not sure that's typical 11 year old behaviour.
TheOneWithTheBigNose · 06/04/2021 13:05

@MummyMayo1988

I think that's pretty normal behaviour from children under the age of 11 🤷‍♀️ Kids love to rip things open and dive right in. My eldest DS is nearly 12 and still does this. I don't think it's spoilt, it's just pure excitement!
My 7 and 5 year olds wouldn’t do it.
daisypond · 06/04/2021 13:21

@MummyMayo1988

I think that's pretty normal behaviour from children under the age of 11 🤷‍♀️ Kids love to rip things open and dive right in. My eldest DS is nearly 12 and still does this. I don't think it's spoilt, it's just pure excitement!
It’s not normal behaviour.
Mumofferalkids · 06/04/2021 13:51

I’d be annoyed, but I think it really depends on your parenting style etc, my kids are older now (youngest is yr 6) but would never open/take food without asking and even at Easter would ask if they could open an egg and how much they could eat, same at Xmas etc, so to me it just depends on your usual expectations

GoodEnough1 · 06/04/2021 14:25

A bit wasteful and messy but I think you gave the kids confusing messages when you left them to it. Possibly because you are a little confused about your own attitude and expectations. Learn form it and move on, no real harm done.

Luddite26 · 06/04/2021 14:53

[quote Oilpyi]@Luddite26 with the gifted items from Thursday and Friday you received?
Many of us managed the usual one. But the one you didn’t plan last minute with the extras yeah?[/quote]
Yeah.

Madamum18 · 06/04/2021 15:08

To be honest, told to enjoy them would be a "permission" to most kids re the pile you left for them. I think they might have assumed about the others as well

However I think the missing link here is noit including them in your thoughts about the eggs and involving them in that process of choices ...as in

"Gosh we have so many eggs this year. So many people won't have any and as we have been so lucky I think we need to consider giving some to food bank. So...each of us will choose eggs for ourselves from this lovely big pile ...and then we can put all the others in a bag and take them to the food bank. That way we will all feel so lucky having some lovely chocolate and we can someone else happy having some chocolate too!!

Looks a bit stilted written down but you get the gist...! If you want them to make choices etc you have to consciously involve them in choice making.

Oilpyi · 06/04/2021 15:12

Bollocks 😂 Luddite

OP posts:
Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 06/04/2021 15:21

I am utterly confounded. I have a yr 1 and Yr 4 child. There is no way in hell they would have taken chocolate set aside in another room. They even checked in amazement that all the eggs piled at their places at the table were really for them and keep checking with me before they open and eat another one. Im not particularly strict but I do try to encourage thoughtfulness. Do your children usually help themselves to whatever they want whenever they want it, even if it's been put elsewhere?

I really don't understand the posters saying you should have been clearer, it sounds to me like you were perfectly clear about which eggs were for them and i would be confiscating all the chocolate and doling out each piece one by one in very small amounts and telling them that's what happens when you're selfish and greedy and don't think about others. I would be very cross and quite upset if they had taken 'my' chocolate, whether I was planning on enjoying it myself or not.

AnnieSnap · 06/04/2021 15:27

They are infants, with one a 6-year-old. You gave them the message that Easter Bunny had been and left them chocolate eggs. They are too young to figure out subtext! You need to teach them about pacing themselves, deferred gratification etc. They are not born knowing that stuff!

I’d say, just chill out and learn from the experience yourself.

Crystal90567 · 06/04/2021 15:52

You said that the Easter bunny had been. That is not the same as regular food in the house. The Easter bunny gives chocolate only for children and leaves it all over the place. They were delighted that there was even more in the next room too.

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 06/04/2021 15:55

@Crystal90567

You said that the Easter bunny had been. That is not the same as regular food in the house. The Easter bunny gives chocolate only for children and leaves it all over the place. They were delighted that there was even more in the next room too.
Except, as the OP has explained numerous times, they knew the chocolate in the other room didn’t belong to them.
SleepingStandingUp · 06/04/2021 19:32

@Crystal90567

You said that the Easter bunny had been. That is not the same as regular food in the house. The Easter bunny gives chocolate only for children and leaves it all over the place. They were delighted that there was even more in the next room too.
But he doesn't leave it in other food in OPs house. She's clearly said they don't do egg hunts. Easter Bunny dumps them on the chair. Not over the house. And Dad brought the otters home so clearly they weren't brought by the Easter Bunny. And at 11 he knows that.
Trixie78 · 06/04/2021 19:35

My brother's and I would totally have done this to my mum 😂😂 you're own fault for leaving chocolate where they could get at it. They're kids, it's what they do. Let them enjoy Easter and having some fun, it's been a shit year x

SuperCaliFragalistic · 06/04/2021 19:40

There's no way my kids (age 6 and 9) would do that. Maybe they know my boundaries re treats better than your kids but they would absolutely not waste their presents like this. I think you are right to be disappointed in them.

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/04/2021 19:49

And Dad brought the otters home so clearly they weren't brought by the Easter Bunny. And at 11 he knows that.
He'd also be forgiven for wondering why the hell his Dad bothered to bring them home if they were verboten.
I'm an adult and I can't wrap my head around that.

aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 20:05

@GreyhoundG1rl

And Dad brought the otters home so clearly they weren't brought by the Easter Bunny. And at 11 he knows that. He'd also be forgiven for wondering why the hell his Dad bothered to bring them home if they were verboten. I'm an adult and I can't wrap my head around that.
Because he was gifted them from work, and naturally brought them home to deal with later rather than immediately driving straight to the food bank? What is odd about that?
GreyhoundG1rl · 06/04/2021 20:09

It's very odd 😂. He could have left them in the boot of his car, rather than making a display of them on the sideboard?
Or put them in a cupboard out of sight, at the very least.

aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 20:15

@GreyhoundG1rl

It's very odd 😂. He could have left them in the boot of his car, rather than making a display of them on the sideboard? Or put them in a cupboard out of sight, at the very least.
Not at all odd when you take a second to consider that you don't know where the sideboard is in the housez it could have been out of the eay and somewhere they regularly store things/not one where children generally help themselves to food from. You also don't know whether there was space in the boot, whether he was concerned about them melting in there, whether they have available cupboard space.

There are so many variables that could very easily explain his perfectly normal decision to store something in his own house.

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/04/2021 20:24

No, I grant you I don't know any of those things. And neither do you...

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 06/04/2021 20:25

Cheeky little buggers! I'd be annoyed too but I think ultimately it could be put down as a misunderstanding, as long as they don't do anything like this again.....

aSofaNearYou · 06/04/2021 20:54

@GreyhoundG1rl

No, I grant you I don't know any of those things. And neither do you...
I don't know the answers, no, but the questions alone are enough to stop if from being unfathomable that he would have stored them where he did.