Easter eggs- how would you react

[Oilpyi]

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

Honestly, I get how irritating this is. I would actually take some back. But then, I'm mean.

As the other pile was completely seperate it is gluttonous, selfish and gross. But that said they're only children, I would say that you were intending to share them but then try and have a laugh about it and not let it ruin your day.

I'm flabbergasted that so many posters are basically saying "they're kids, it's chocolate- what do you expect?"

I'd be very disappointed too OP. Mine are 7 and 4 and I'd be horrified if they behaved like that.

YABU. Presumably the eggs you left them with were presents for them? You specifically put the eggs in a pile within the kids reach, highlighted this to them and told them that the Easter bunny had been. I'm an adult and that, to me, means here are your easter presents, tuck in!

I wouldn't be happy about chocolate all over the floor, but that's about teaching them to be tidy and clean up after themselves. If they ate all the eggs that were for them, so what? If you wanted some for yourself, why didn't you put those ones somewhere else?

I'm in the 'it's Easter, have fun' camp. I really don't see how opening and eating your own presents is spolit.

@VodkaSlimline I think the amount of eggs was just a key worker/ pandemic thing. People are being very nice, which is appreciated. Didn’t expect it though, and it probably won’t repeat next year.

If they are usually good kids they probably just egged each other on.

@Oilpyi

Those who say ‘kids need supervising’, do you honestly never leave a year 6 child to have a shower? How do you manage? Do you sit them in sight if you cook? Take them in the garden in you hang the washing out? They are all ks1 and ks2 children, not toddlers.

I would leave them unsupervised for a shower and various other things but not after telling them they have loads of chocolate, when by your own admission it’s a rarity, and it’s Easter. Not without specific instructions to only open one or similar.

They’re very little kids and you gave them no direction. You left them to it.

This is on you. Don’t be so harsh with them fgs. Poor kids.

I think this is about unprocessed issues from your own childhood so don’t project that onto your children.

OP, I feel your conflict. When I was a kid if I’d done this I would have been screamed at, chased up to my room, repeatedly hit, grounded, had all the chocolate taken off me and I would have been guilt tripped and had it held against me for the rest of my life probably, or at least until my parents die. I still get childhood misdemeanours held against me now. Instinctively now if my DS did this I’d want to go mad, but what my parents never seemed to realise when we were kids, is that kids are kids, and they’re not always sensible, especially where large amounts of chocolate are concerned. So I get you have mixed emotions about it, and yeah it’s a bit upsetting in a mean spirited way, but honestly, what reaction do you think is proportionate? Make the buggers clear up the mess, ration out the chocolate, harvesting what you fancy out of the work stuff of course, and talk to them about not being greedy or selfish. Then next year make sure it can’t happen again.

I am notoriously easy going about chocolate, and tidiness, but I think that was over the top, and something needs to be said, about greed and selfishness. You are not being unreasonable!

@PerspicaciousGreen I’ve had a chat. It was instigated and fully led by the 11 year old, with the others acting on direction.
He says ‘he thought it would be fun’ and ‘dunno’/ shrug.
So to be fair to the other 3 he’s done it in an authoritative way and they’ve joined in (totally fits the usual pattern in this house).
We’ve picked it up, put it all on the side and are closing one each at a time to eat.
The 11 yr old has had far more words as with him it’s part of a pattern of behaviour. Being bossy and being rather expectant. 8 year old has had particular words about constant mess making in the house.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

All I can think is some of these posters are going to be raising some very entitled and over-indulged children.

No, raising children who have clear instructions and are supervised at times when needed. Big difference.

"I'd also give them a massive telling off, I would tell them I was disgusted by their behaviour and that they wouldn't be getting any Easter eggs next year."

Urgh, this is horrible. Why even 'do' Easter if it's going to be used against them in this way, is this really how you want them to remember the day?

I still remember the Easter one of my siblings opened their egg early so none of us were allowed to have them. It is a really sad memory.

OP I would consider it a lesson learned that they are too young to have enough impulse control! Laugh, rescue some of the chocolate for yourself. And next year don't leave temptation in their way!

@Whatisthisfuckery I relate. Yes. Hence asking for balance here against instinct.

I'd have felt you.
Shows little regard for the cost of things and is the behaviour of the ungrateful and grabby.
I'm also under no illusion that my two dc wouldn't have done the same. Sadly.

Do you think you are too controlling when it comes to chocolate and sweet things, and they have just got taken in the moment and let loose.

I know some kids who's parents don't let them eat sweets etc. When they go to parties they just fill their faces with chocolate and sweets.

Leaving them on an open sideboard (even in another room) was the mistake. They've probably been goggling at them with wide eyes all week and finally couldn't resist.

They should have been put away well out of sight before today so you could eat them ration them out slowly or donate them when you wanted.

Id have a stern chat with them but not a huge row or telling off. Let them know you're disappointed but don't let it spoil your whole day.

I've got an 11 year old and would be really cross if he did this, so I'm with you OP . The only mitigation might be that I can see 3 over-excited children egging each other on to behave in a way that a single child wouldn't. But, I still think it's a selfish and greedy thing to do and would be telling them all so.

guess that sums it up for me, I always could have parented better. Every action I do could be better, especially with hindsight
@Oilpyi don’t be so hard on yourself.

I have children around the same age and they know full well that helping yourself is not acceptable. They were given a generous pile to do as they please then took others without permission. You are right to be annoyed. It also sounds like this is not an isolated incident of selfish behaviour. I’m sure they know you are cross already, so I wouldn’t spoil today but I would limit the amount of chocolate they are able to scoff. Tomorrow I would sit them down for a chat about being fair & respecting boundaries.

@Justdowhatyouweretold No.

I'm extremely easy going and thought you sounded a bit strict at first but I wouldn't like this either.

This was exactly my gripe last year when MIL thought it was appropiate to walk up the driveway (socially-distanced of course) and overindulge DCs with 10 easter eggs each . I gave the the bulk of them away to the local food bank, as i thought 30 easter eggs for three DCs was absolutely grotesque, although i allowed them to keep one each. Perhaps next near you will have the same foresight!

I would be cross too and would be pointing out to them that the adults in the family had been kindly sharing their chocolate all week and yet as soon as the children received theirs they also decided to take all of the adults’ stash for themselves which is very selfish. They are old enough to reflect on their actions. I wouldn’t go on and on but I would tell them I was cross and I would make them tidy up any mess.

Have they destroyed all the boxes and broken up all the chocolate? I would be cross about that too. The 11 year old is more than old enough to know to open one box at a time.

And in lots of families egg hunts are not a ‘thing.’ They weren’t when I was a child and I’ve never done them for mine. In previous years we have been to organised egg hunts but my kids know any eggs they get given at our house are not hidden, so I’m pretty sure 6-11 year olds will not have been thinking the other eggs (which have been on the side for days) were part of an egg hunt.

The eggs that were not meant to be eaten should have been out of the children's sight, while you made up your mind what to do with them.
It isn't as if they have gone against specific instructions. You didn't tell them not to open the eggs in the other room.
Maybe next year, get the eggs out one or two at a time. This year, it's done now. They can clear up the mess, then just enjoy the day.

Amazed at the number of posters who are essentially blaming the OP for her chilren’s entitled and frankly appalling behaviour.

They were given clear instructions. OP said she told them the chocolate on the chair was theirs, so they had that. At no point did she indicate that the chocolate in the other room was theirs to share out, and not only share out, but open every single box and scatter chocolate all over the house.

I would have gone belistic and made them clear up all the mess. And they’d be allowed to keep their own chocolate and nothing more.