Easter eggs- how would you react

[Oilpyi]

Asking for perspective, neither DH or I grew up with Easter Eggs or much in the way of things- it already seems indulgent, but I’m aware our perspective isn’t always the norm with the world the kids grow up in. That’s why I’m asking...

We’ve had a crazy amount of eggs this year. DH as a key worker was gifted a very generous pile. I got some through volunteering, kids got some from family and from clubs. I was planning to give some away as it seemed so many. They’d weren’t little or cheap either, ones with Lindt bunnies in, London, fancy M&S stuff etc plus some smaller ones with mugs. Not little eggs.

The ones from work etc were in a stack on a sideboard, along with some boxes of chocolate where they’d been for days. A box or two was open and we’d been sharing them already. Neither of us eat much chocolate ourselves and we generally have no issue with the kids slowly eating their way through it, which is what we normally do with gifted chocolate. Open one at a time/ one each at a time and let them eat.

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

When I came down they’d collected all the eggs and chocolate boxes from both rooms and had opened the lot, a huge pile of ripped boxes obviously frantically opened. They’d then made a pile each of eggs and chocolate sharing it out. Rubbish from boxes everywhere and they’d opened chocolate each and already the carpet was covered in chocolate bits (whilst I’m not Usually precious it was an instant Hoover need or they’d be chocolate stains over a wide area). The floor was a sea of boxes.

It just looked so wasteful they’d rip in like that, so presumptuous we’d not want any given to us (we normally eat a little of what we get ourselves, but not much) and just so expectant they could do it without even asking. I felt sick walking in and seeing such an expensive pile of chocolate just all opened and piled up carelessly- it was more that than either adult wanting any. It seemed so spoilt. No concept of any value or appreciation of it.

The kids are a range of primary ages from the oldest to the youngest spanning yr 1-6. I’m generally a bit irritated anyway with the older ones being messy and lazy and everything being a fight.

So- how would you react?
Say it’s Easter- enjoy and have fun
Or yes, that’s overly wasteful and spoilt behaviour.

[Chewbecca]

You're not wrong but let it go.

[NoSquirrels]

I’d be annoyed. I don’t think you’re unreasonable.

I’d be pointing out that there are 2 more people in the family than they had considered (you and their father) and that they needed to give up some of their stash!

I would also tell them that you’d considered giving some away to other people/food bank etc because it’s good to share. And that can’t happen now they’ve opened them all.

Perhaps they’d like to consider using some to bake cakes or cookies?

I don’t think you’re unreasonable or deficient as a parent!

[Oilpyi]

When I say the 11 year led it I mean it. The others said ‘ it was his idea’ and he said ‘yes, it was my idea. I told them to do it’.
I’m not adding anything or talking about it strangely. He said he started it off, and he was even telling them how to create their piles.
Tbf if he funnels his ideas better he has excellent people management skills...

[MeltsAway]

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

I don't think you managed this particularly well. Children from ages 6-10 or 11 are going to see that amount of chocolate as a huuuuuge treat. They are going to eat it all in an ecstasy of luxury - it sounds as though your household is not one for treats or indulgence.

You wanted children to show the restraint you & their father exercise. But they're children - that really isn't going to happen. And it's unfair to judge them as if they were adults like you & their father.

[MaLarkinn]

I think you sound a bit miserable op.

You should have given clearer instructions.

I feel sorry for the 11 year old.

[Bopahula]

I feel like I'm in some weird alternative world here.

Do parents really indulge their kids to that extent, by laughing off what is a really greedy and selfish thing to do. The oldest is 11 and in year 6! In six months they will be at secondary. They should have absolutely known better.

And to blame parents for not giving a list of instructions before having a shower. No wonder we are raising a generation of kids with no self control and no common sense if we literally dictate every tiny thing.

The kids were told and shown their pile. The rest I'd be cross about too.

[Oilpyi]

I’m calmed down and it’s resolved here.
I’m going out with them now to switch the scene and move forward- I’ll look back later on.

[Ninkanink]

They don’t need a huge telling off or punishment or anything like that, of course. But they should be told why they shouldn’t have done that, and it should be explained to them clearly that they are not to do it again. As pp said, a firm telling off so that they know it’s not acceptable. That’s how children learn.

It’s not actually a big deal in the grand scheme of things - they got excited and went overboard, but they haven’t done anything truly awful.

[Alcemeg]

It was horrible and I was genuinely shocked. I think children can go a bit Lord of the Flies sometimes.
@Clymene

🤣

[CricketClub]

I think I’m shocked because it is out of character and not what I usually expect. They have in previous years been reasonable and for previous events. I do let them have quite free reign lost the time, and they are reasonable. I have a snack cupboard in reach etc and chocolate often on the side and nothing needs hiding,

Sounds like they got carried away with it all!

Children do have a ‘what’s yours is mine’ mentality at times and they would have been over excited because of the sheer number of eggs! I can imagine their delight!

I doubt it even crossed their mind in the moment that it was greedy and rude but you’ve dealt with it now so don’t worry! 😊

[Bluntness100]

Honestly leaving a bunch of kids with a load of chocolate and saying enjoy is pretty much an invitation to do this,they were excited and ripped in.

The fact you should have been more specific in yout instruction is on you.

And honestly, it’s just bloody chocolate.

[Cormoransjacket]

How many children do you have? Have two children shared out a pile of eggs, or have five children done it? If you have quite a big family then they might not be getting a ridiculous amount of chocolate.

I would let them have fun. My children have had a great time doing three different hunts in an attempt to keep them busy. They have had a tricky year and I am just enjoying seeing them happy.

[CricketClub]

It was horrible and I was genuinely shocked. I think children can go a bit Lord of the Flies sometimes

Haha!! This made me laugh!

[Smartiepants79]

I would have been cross actually. They’d been given theirs. They went to another room and took a whole load more!
It’s greedy and wasteful.
My two have already had chocolate this morning but I’d be very pissed off if they took chocolate that hadn’t been given to them.

[dementedpixie]

@MeltsAway

This morning I had left the eggs from family on an armchair and said ‘Easter bunny’s been’ and left the kids while I showered. Fine them opening and eating.

I don't think you managed this particularly well. Children from ages 6-10 or 11 are going to see that amount of chocolate as a huuuuuge treat. They are going to eat it all in an ecstasy of luxury - it sounds as though your household is not one for treats or indulgence.

You wanted children to show the restraint you & their father exercise. But they're children - that really isn't going to happen. And it's unfair to judge them as if they were adults like you & their father.

They didn't just open the chocolate on the chair though. They collected eggs/chocolates from another room and opened all of that too

And yes, they should be in trouble for doing that and should have known not to

[TheOneWithTheBigNose]

I’m still confused by the ‘wasteful’ part of it... haven’t they actually eaten all of the chocolate?
If so I imagine their punishment is that they’ll be pretty sick!

[An0n0n0n]

So you left kids alone with a pile of chocolate and told them to enjoy and you're surprised thst they acted like kids rather than adults?

Sorry but i think you should have been there with the I'm to enjoy the fun or moderate.

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

@Oilpyi

I don't think either your expectations or level of supervision are unreasonable.

They behaved badly, you know it, I know it, anyone with half an ounce of sense knows it.

They are ALL old enough to know that you don't take stuff that's not yours, that in your house you don't rip masses of things open like heathens & you don't make a right bloody mess on the floor with food AND how horribly greedily they behaved us NOT acceptable. When other people think those behaviours are acceptable I despair.

The 11 year old would be in the most trouble & yes, big telling off re the behaviours above and for leading the others on.

Younger two for acting like sheep & not thinking for themselves (esp the 8yo)

You've been more lenient than I would have been. The chocolate would have been put away and they'd have been told if they behaved today, we could start afresh with them tomorrow.

Oh & they absolutely do not need to be under your nose 24/7. 6/8/11 well old enough to behave while you have a shower etc.

[GertrudeTheGreat]

Initially, I misread this and thought the oldest child was 6 and thought probably it was not great and needed to be corrected, but not the end of the world.

I think an 11 year old doing it would make me a bit cross actually. I think put it in a box up high and ration it out. This is what we normally do with our dcs who are a lot younger, as otherwise, the little one (3) would help himself, unwrap them all, eat what he wanted and probably smear the rest over the furniture, which nobody wants!

[ancientgran]

It is greedy, wasteful, thoughtless but it has been such a year I wouldn't go mad. I'd tell them that you are disappointed, ask them if they thought of you or dad having any? Unless they are cheeky about it I'd let it go then. If they do it next year I'd go absolutely ballistic.

[PerspicaciousGreen]

[quote Oilpyi]@PerspicaciousGreen I’ve had a chat. It was instigated and fully led by the 11 year old, with the others acting on direction.
He says ‘he thought it would be fun’ and ‘dunno’/ shrug.
So to be fair to the other 3 he’s done it in an authoritative way and they’ve joined in (totally fits the usual pattern in this house).
We’ve picked it up, put it all on the side and are closing one each at a time to eat.
The 11 yr old has had far more words as with him it’s part of a pattern of behaviour. Being bossy and being rather expectant. 8 year old has had particular words about constant mess making in the house.[/quote]
What a weird response from him. He must know why he wanted to do it. Maybe it's something he'd read in a book or seen on TV - you know, and then the incompetent parents laugh and join in and there's a ridiculous happy ending where the bad behaviour is swept under the carpet.

Well, I stand by my previous post that I'd make them clear up the mess and sort everything out. I'd take all the Easter eggs away for today and say we can start again with chocolate tomorrow and discuss a sensible way to share it out, including replacing/atoning for the stuff you weren't supposed to have.

[Flowers24]

You left them all out so what did you think would happen!

[TheOneWithTheBigNose]

@Flowers24

You left them all out so what did you think would happen!

all of our Easter chocolate is out and there’s no way my 7 and 5 year olds would dream of a) eating the eggs that don’t belong to them or even b) eating any of it without asking!

[dementedpixie]

@Flowers24

You left them all out so what did you think would happen!

Maybe she thought her children would eat the eggs she had pointed out to them and not go into another room and take extra ones and open them too

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

@An0n0n0n

So you left kids alone with a pile of chocolate and told them to enjoy and you're surprised thst they acted like kids rather than adults?

Sorry but i think you should have been there with the I'm to enjoy the fun or moderate.

No they were given SOME eggs, then then helped themselves to a pile of eggs from the sideboard (not the chair where the others were that the 'Easter bunny' had delivered, that they knew were not theirs. Then they ripped them all open. Making a complete mess on the floor.

They know better