Is it really bad that 10 year old can’t ride bike?

[Fattydoggy]

My 10 yr old can’t ride a bike. He has had a bike since he was 3. Always peddled backwards and got fed up quickly. He loves his scooter. We always get him a bike that fits but never push him too much to learn because he doesn’t want to. He does have dyspraxia which I believe makes it much harder for him.

Today, we met friends at the park for the first time in ages quite excitedly. They had a lovely time but our friends kids were wanting to swap their bikes with his scooter and so on. He was peddling backwards and could not balance well. He looked really embarrassed he couldn’t ride it properly. Is it too late for us to push it. He doesn’t want to. Was thinking about getting a valance bike for older kids (if they exist)

Perseverance and practice. My dd has dyspraxia and was 8 before she could reliably ride but we lived in cycle friendly Cambridge so the embarrassment of training wheels pushed her to keep trying. Very few can't master it eventually. But you need to be going 2-3 times a week once sort of riding to get them competent

I think the key here is that he's 10 years old and you have said he doesn't want to.
I'd probably have a conversation to understand why he doesn't want to - because if its that he wants to but is scared of failing, or making mistakes then its worth helping him. But if he's decided he's happy to go through life without this - then I wouldn't push it.
I don't class bike riding as a life skill - even though its hugely important in our family. Swimming and driving - yes, but you can live without cycling...

Ps my dd is forbidden from driving so riding a bike is particularly useful, not all people with autism can get drivers licences especially if they have seizures, she doesn't ride on roads ever

I have dyspraxia and was diagnosed as 0.2 (I think anything under 5 might be a diagnosis?) when I was 15 so I am really clumsy, struggle with spatial awareness and left & right.

I think I was around 9 when I learnt to ride properly. I would say it was a lot harder for me than all of my friends, I was always falling off and coming home covered in blood and bruises. I remember falling into a fence panel and getting around 30 massive splinters stuck in my arm. Everything is harder for us. It took me around 50 hours of lessons in a manual car and not being able to even turn corners without driving up the path before I switched to an automatic 😂 so I wouldn’t say being 10 and not being able to properly ride a bike is bad if he has dyspraxia.

What helped me is that my Dad really pushed it because back then we didn’t have internet (just that awful dial up) or games so the way that everyone socialised was biking up and down the street and it was hindering me. He took me to the BMX track every weekend whilst he was on his bike and it turned more into a game than me learning how to ride. I will say I did have quite a bad accident when I was 12 that was definitely dyspraxia related (broken nose, collar bone and leg) and I haven’t been back on a bike since Not a necessary life skill but definitely a useful one.

I'm 38 and I can't ride a bike either

Although it’s kindly meant, it isn’t terribly relevant if being unable to ride a bike has had minimal impact on you as an adult woman. Don’t shout at me if this doesn’t apply in your area but in my experience going out on their bikes is quite an important part of many younger teen boys’ social lives. I drove past a group of four boys on bikes yesterday with a fifth running alongside them to keep up. I’m sure he was perfectly happy but it was quite striking.

OP will know if this is relevant in her area but if it is you may find that it creates some valuably intrinsic motivation. I echo pp’s recommendations of courses or individual tuition.

I'm 41 and can't ride a bike, I do have irlens though so my balance is terrible.

To be honest I don't feel like I'm missing a life skill.

My Dyspraxic DS couldn't ride a bike until he was 14.

It was explained as i'm sure you know, that one of the characteristics of Dyspraxia is poor core stability along with poor spatial awareness.. when DS was trying to learn he just couldnt balance, or work out how to correct himself, to avoid toppling to one side (he is still bad at catching balls etc at 23)

It did come eventually, but i'd say let it happen in time and don't push him, my DS was devastated that he couldn't do it when younger and it really knocked his confidence, somehow he worked it out in the end but it really really wasn't easy.

My parents would have done me a huge favour if they had bought me a bike as a child. I possibly didn't actually ask for one, but I think it's something that all children should do if at all possible.

Both of my parents are disabled and probably never learnt to ride themselves, but my brother was given a bike one Christmas and I never had one. Never had roller skates either. My friend had a go at teaching me on her bike when I was about 13, but it was hard going and I didn't have a bike to practise on. I think this caused my appalling lack of balance as an adult. My husband tried to teach me to ski, but I was totally rubbish at it. It's one of the regrets of my life and I'm 57 now. I made sure our children learnt as soon as possible and one is a very keen cyclist as an adult in her 30's.

I would try to encourage and push your son into learning to ride a bike. I'm sure he will thank you for it in the end. Lessons maybe?

When things are open again, have a look for some lessons

I forgot to say that I had a brief go at riding a bike in the road about 15 years ago. I enjoyed it, but I wasn't really safe to be on the roads ie couldn't let go of the handlebars with one hand to signal and wasn't the most stable of riders, to put it mildly. That brief try did show me what I was missing and I would have loved to be able to ride a bike competently.

Have you tried getting him a lesson? My boy was struggling and he had an hour’s lesson with an instructor (subsidised by the council) and it made such a difference. Was whizzing soon after. He took the pedals off his bike and had him going down a gentle slope, but the most important bit I think was telling him do always look forwards to where he was going and never to look down. When you look forward the vestibular system takes over and you naturally balance, look down and you immediately wobble. My boy doesn’t have dyspraxia but it might help.

I can't ride a bike. Nor can I swim. I put it down to balance issues I've got that mean I step up steps that aren't there, feel like I'm falling out of bed when I'm right in the middle of it etc. In a pool of water I feel like I'm heavier on one side so I'm unconsciously compensating for that, think the same goes for a bike. Reassuringly for other people, I choose not to drive. It's not a big thing. I'm 52 tomorrow and I've other skills instead.

There are some great specialist courses for kids with coordination problems if he wants to learn.

Big tip is getting a bike that isnt too big, is lightweight and doesnt have load of gears. My friends daughter was struggling and couldn't get it. She tried my sons bike which was smaller frame and managed to cycle within 5 minutes.

There's also turbo trainers you can use with the bike in the house to practise peddling.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

If he doesn't want to, I would push him. I haven't been on a bike since I was about 12, and I don't plan to be anytime soon. My near 13 year old can't swim. He's always been scared of the water. Took us years to persuade him to go in. The 7 year old can't swim either even although he absolutely loves the water. We just don't go swimming enough.

That was supposed to say, if he doesn't want to I wouldn't push him!

I’m dyspraxic, think I learned about 8. As an adult I commuted to work by bike, 20 miles a day, and had front and back seats for my kids, one day he may well get the bug. If he learns it will help him with balance which would be great, think of it as physio without him realising it. I’ve been teaching my kids - there are essentially two skills, balance and peddling. For most kids balance is harder, so learning that on a balance bike makes the transition much easier. Is avoid stabilisers at all costs for most kids, they learn to peddle quite quickly but learn no more until you take them off which they are reticent to do - an old exercise bike is a great shout for that. There is a great blog called cycle sprog with loads of advice on kids and bikes. Cycle Sprog also has a post that recommends some balance bikes for bigger kids.

My 14 year old has dyspraxia. He has never learnt to ride a bike but loves his scooter. His brother with asd learnt in a day. Now and again we ask if he wants to try again but he doesn't want to. Hopefully he will give it another go in the summer as I would love him to learn.

Mine can't, its a source of guilt for me, more because we havent spent the time encouraging him when we did his brother (although he "got it" straightaway, ds2 didn't and got put off ) ds2 himself isn't that bothered...