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Original poster

Is it really bad that 10 year old can’t ride bike?

119 replies

Fattydoggy · 02/04/2021 23:50

My 10 yr old can’t ride a bike. He has had a bike since he was 3. Always peddled backwards and got fed up quickly. He loves his scooter. We always get him a bike that fits but never push him too much to learn because he doesn’t want to. He does have dyspraxia which I believe makes it much harder for him.

Today, we met friends at the park for the first time in ages quite excitedly. They had a lovely time but our friends kids were wanting to swap their bikes with his scooter and so on. He was peddling backwards and could not balance well. He looked really embarrassed he couldn’t ride it properly. Is it too late for us to push it. He doesn’t want to. Was thinking about getting a valance bike for older kids (if they exist)

OP posts:
FixItUpChappie · 03/04/2021 02:53

I taught both my reluctant sons on a gentle grassy slope and it worked a treat. We just had them practice gliding down no pedals legs out getting their balance, then added pedals - the slope helps A LOT.

I'm very grateful to the neighbour who suggested it to me after many failed running pushing pavement fails.

Butterfly44 · 03/04/2021 02:55

Nope. I can't ride a bike and I'm in my 4th decade!

Newmum29 · 03/04/2021 03:14

I didn’t learn till I was 10 and we went on several trips to centre parcs before then! My dad told the stabilisers off mine when I was about 6 and I was too stubborn to try without. My sister taught me when I was 10 and asked her as I was going to secondary school soon. Don’t remember it taking more than an afternoon but I had to choose to. To be honest though I’ve almost never ridden a bike as an adult and don’t think it’ll hold him back much.

TeenMinusTests · 03/04/2021 06:44

Given he has dyspraxia and isn't keen to learn, I'd leave it.
Tell him that if he ever changes his mind you'll take him somewhere 'out of area' to learn if he wants to.
My eldest with dyspraxia learned but was never really 'safe', as she couldn't judge stopping, or when to pull out for parked cars etc so couldn't go on road.
She did later however pass her driving test first time (in an automatic) age 17.

actiongirl1978 · 03/04/2021 06:49

DS11 can't ride a bike. We've stopped buying him one now.

He gets hysterical that he is wobbly and has refused to try for a lomg time now. He will be the only one not doing bikeability this term, he'd rather do more schoolwork than be forced to ride a bike.

We live rurally and kids are at private school so far flung friends and therefore no pressure to go on a bike with a friend.

I hate riding though can, DD and DH will very occasionally have a passing interest.

I'd say there are far more important life skills than bikes.

Cattitudes · 03/04/2021 06:57

Do consider if they will be doing Bikeability in yr6. That was the impetus for ds to learn. Took a few afternoons and a grassy slope. He is hypermobile so takes a bit more effort. He is pleased he learnt but isn't planning to be the next Bradley Wiggins.

Moomoolandmoomooland · 03/04/2021 07:01

I've survived until the ripe old age of 40 without ever being able to ride a bike. I'd hardly say it was an essential life skill.

Longdistance · 03/04/2021 07:13

My dd went back to riding a bike in lockdown last year. She was 10 then. Not late at all. My dh took her up the park for short bursts of riding on her little sister’s bike. So, up and down outside tennis courts where no one saw her. Dh would hold on to the saddle and run with her alongside. It took a few days of practice and confidence building, but she got it, and then £200 later a new bike.
It was the short bursts of riding that helped. Eventually dh let go and dd just rode off without realising. Proud moment that was.

MoonriseKingdom · 03/04/2021 08:36

I learned as an adult! Grin But I had lost all fear of embarrassment by that stage! I would ask him how he feels about it, if he wants to learn it definitely isn’t too late.

I used the method others here have mentioned. Pedals off and practice balancing down a gentle slope. Then when I was confident in the balance put the pedals on. It’s the most proud I’ve been of myself as an adult.

Cutesbabasmummy · 03/04/2021 08:43

There seems to be a lot of competition as to how young your child is riding a bike! My son was great on his balance bike but didn't get pedalling at all. He was about 4 years 10 months when he clicked! Then he had to learn starting off on his own. I'm 45 and sm so wobbly that I splashed out on a tricycle in lockdown so that I can enjoy riding too. My advice would be - no one ever died from not riding a bike; if he is really keen get a second hand Islabike as they are super light; take the pedals off the bike so he can get used to balancing. The other poster's idea about an exercise bike is genuis!

Pinchoftums · 03/04/2021 08:48

DSS is dyspraxic. We taught him at 5, 9, 12, 14... He would get it, then forget and fall off a lot. he is now in his 20s and rides everywhere as has no car. He is very glad we persevered.

B33Fr33 · 03/04/2021 08:56

Take the pedals off. Learn the balance skill.

When he's cracked that put the pedals back on.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/04/2021 09:01

The dyspraxia will make it harder but practice helps. Can you prop the bike on something so he can practice pedalling without needing to balance? It's common to try and pedal backwards at first because there's no resistance back pedaling - he needs to learn to push hard downwards.

While its not essential as a leisure activity we are moving into an era where there are likely to be more and more policies that push people to cycle as a mode of transport- reductions in motor public transport or cost increases as a deterrent, taxes on car ownership & use making it expensive. So it's a skill worth learning and it may get harder to master the older he is.

CaffiSaliMali · 03/04/2021 09:03

I'm in my 30s and have never managed to ride a bike, it hasn't caused me any issues. I can't drive either, fortunately not an issue in London. Also dyspraxic, diagnosed as an adult.

I wouldn't push the issue if he doesn't want to, you don't want to put pressure on him.

I hated it as a child when some well meaning relative would decide I just had to learn some skill - cycling, sewing, knitting - and would try and teach me. It always ended in failure and said relative shaking their head and asking my mother what was 'wrong' with me. It just made me feel worse about myself.

Am now an adult and have never needed to sew, knit or cycle. Nice skills to have but I function quite well without them.

user1471538283 · 03/04/2021 09:04

My DS could ride a proper bike at 6 however, he was always bike mad and practiced alot. He hasn't bothered with one since he was 11.

I could never learn and remember being so upset.

RMRM · 03/04/2021 09:06

You might find that there are Learn to Ride centres near you that might open again soon. My sister did this with her boys as they were getting embarrassed and were not listening to her as they were getting stressed out with it all. The staff were brilliant and had them cycling within 1-2 sessions. They also had modified bikes. It was at a massive flat space too, so no worries about bumps and steering initially.

TastefulLiving · 03/04/2021 09:06

@Fattydoggy

My 10 yr old can’t ride a bike. He has had a bike since he was 3. Always peddled backwards and got fed up quickly. He loves his scooter. We always get him a bike that fits but never push him too much to learn because he doesn’t want to. He does have dyspraxia which I believe makes it much harder for him.

Today, we met friends at the park for the first time in ages quite excitedly. They had a lovely time but our friends kids were wanting to swap their bikes with his scooter and so on. He was peddling backwards and could not balance well. He looked really embarrassed he couldn’t ride it properly. Is it too late for us to push it. He doesn’t want to. Was thinking about getting a valance bike for older kids (if they exist)

My 12 year old has dyspraxia also and he cannot ride a bike either. (He cannot swim a stoke either despite spending hundreds and hundreds on lessons. ).

I have been told it is a parenting failure (by someone without children, never mind a child with dyspraxia) Hmm

Sammysquiz · 03/04/2021 09:07

My DD was the same age when she learned. I found a Learn to Ride course at our local bike centre which was for older children only and it was brilliant. We’d previously spent hours trying to teach her & then they got her up and running in half an hour! Maybe worth looking for something similar in your area?

EssexLioness · 03/04/2021 09:10

I have dyspraxia and autism. I am 43 and never managed to learn to ride a bike, roller skate etc. My parents teased me constantly and humiliated me at every opportunity when I was younger as though it was my fault I couldn’t do it. Many autistics/ people with dyspraxia are never able to manage these things. Please be careful not to mention it to your son infront of others as he may interpret it as something to be ashamed about. It isn’t, it’s just his body/ brain works differently to other people’s

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 03/04/2021 09:12

DS is dyspraxic and he’s only really got it sorted on grass, in a big open space and he’s 9 1/2 so no, I don’t think it’s bad.

It took us about 5 years to help him learn how to ride but I do think it’s key to find out if he actually wants to learn.

What made the difference for us was getting him a super light bike. I mean, it still took him years but it meant his poor muscle strength didn’t have as much to work against him.

AnnaMagnani · 03/04/2021 09:13

I kind of learned but was never great at it. Mid 40s now and autistic (discovered as an adult).

It was never fun.

Much less of an issue as an adult than a child. And even as a child it was fairly easily avoided by saying I hated it, despite having Scandinavian parents who were cycling obsessed.

Emmelina · 03/04/2021 09:13

Very typical for dyspraxic kids. There’s a lot to do all at once that we take for granted! Balance, steering, pedalling, looking the right direction *and avoiding people and obstacles! If one is going perfectly, you can bet something else takes a nosedive.
Balance bikes a great idea, but rare and expensive for bigger kids. You can convert his current bike by removing the pedals and putting the saddle right down so his feet are flat and knees slightly bent. The idea is, he’ll learn to control the weight of the bike and how to correct himself to stop it tipping. Walk astride it, run astride it and then when he feels brave enough he can lift his feet and glide. Steering comes here too. If he can get to the point where these things are second nature - ie he doesn’t have to think about them to do them - then a lot more focus can go on peddling when you screw them back on. It’s also not as outwardly obvious he’s still learning like stabilisers would be - unless you’re looking properly most people can’t tell at a glance there are no pedals. Good luck!

onwAndup · 03/04/2021 09:20

Oh that's unfortunate, my 1 and an half year old son can ride a bike with no stabilisers flawlessly! He can do wheelies n' all!

Grin that sounds a bit freaky.

OP, be proud of you son who has chosen the scooter as a suitable vehicle as he can work it with his dyspraxia. Maybe he'll never ride a bike due to his dyspraxia but can he swim? Does he do other kinds of sports and exercise? Encourage him to be good at the thing he actually enjoy and is able to learn and be confident and accepting of the things that are out of his reach.

LynetteScavo · 03/04/2021 09:21

When I first read that your DS is dyspraxic I thought "Oh, don't force him" but then I thought about what I would do as a parent. DD is severely dyslexic- we banged away ensuring she can read and write (she life primary school pretty much illiterate) DS is on the autistic spectrum- we banged away making sure he has essential social skills to function in society.

I was determined all my DC would read, write, swim, ride a bike, shake hands while making eye contact (bit of a moot point in Covid times) and pass maths and English GCSE (the latter is fucking killing me at the moment) It depends how bothered you are about your DC being able to do certain things.

My DC probably can't do things other people expect their DC to eventually master.

Mmmmdanone · 03/04/2021 09:22

My DS can't ride a bike or swim. He just gets so upset when we try and teach him. I was going to crack on with the swimming this past year but obviously that wasn't possible. None of his friends have bikes so cycling not as much of an issue but really want to crack the swimming at some point. He's 12.