Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that holidays are non essential?

479 replies

Silliantro · 02/04/2021 12:27

The amount of whinging about missing out on holidays here and elsewhere has been shockingly irritating. Will missing out on a couple of trips to Megaluf/bland med cruises REALLY be the end of the world? It's such a shocking tone-deaf and privileged way to live your life.

Will staying at home and talking to your DC/learning a language/read a few books really be the end of the world? It's pretty grim absolutely NEED trips abroad or the seaside to to distract yourself from your own life.

OP posts:
Ohwhataprogramme · 02/04/2021 13:25

Will staying at home and talking to your DC/learning a language/read a few books really be the end of the world? It's pretty grim absolutely NEED trips abroad or the seaside to to distract yourself from your own life.

Not sure where to start with this tbh.

Patronizing, condescending, rude, jeez.

Would I swap learning a language Hmm for trekking through the rainforest in Thailand for instance....no I bloody wouldn't! You've clearly never been on any decent holidays. Of course it's not essential, most things in life aren't, but they're what make it magical.

FrothyB · 02/04/2021 13:26

If we take an "average" 9-5, Monday to Friday job, thats 227 days a year at work. 63% of their adult lives. 50% of each day they are awake, or 33% of their day total. Many people work more than that, or within those days work far more hours.

I would say most people do not enjoy their jobs. They tolerate them because of how our society and financial system is geared towards continuous growth and consumption and if we don't work as much as we can, we can't afford to live.

The problem is we aren't drones, with our singular purpose being to produce for the hive, and to work as we do can be seen as unnatural, which is why our modern lifestyles tend to play such havoc with both our physical and mental health.

As a result, I would argue that "holidays" are indeed essential, in some capacity with the way we live now. The issue you seem to have is what form those holidays take. We're planning to go Camping for a few days in June, followed by hopefully a week at the seaside in September after all the kids go back to school. We're lucky that those kind of holidays are enough to recharge us and give us a break. Other people want to feel the sun, or feel pampered, or take a break from the monotony of daily home life aswell as work, which is perfectly fine aswell. Everyone's idea of what they need to recharge is valid. When I was in my early 20's, I would save my holidays for when the big new Xbox games would release, take a week off and spend all week having marathon gaming sessions, drinking and just having a good time. Most people reading this would be mortified at the idea of it, but it was perfect for me at that time.

You also can't expect society to regress either quickly or easily, although I think with the climate emergency becoming more prominent it may end up having to happen, such as reductions of foreign travel. People are used to having the world much more open to them. You can't expect people who are used to spending two weeks a year in Italy to suddenly be happy with having to go to a seaside town at home, no more than I can expect my Mum, who has been to Great Yarmouth every year since childhood, to suddenly find the appeal of going on a Danube river cruise.

This is all before you take into account the people who wish to/need to travel to see family abroad. We were lucky that we were able to get across to my partners country last August during the easing of restrictions, but many others did not take the chance and have not seen family or friends for well over a year. Sure, many people in the UK have not seen family for the same length of time, but there is light at the end of that tunnel. We were hoping to go to my partners country in September as its a landmark birthday for her, but even that seems unlikely at this point. Whilst visiting family is a break, I wouldn't class it as a holiday, no more than I would class going up to my Dads for the weekend a weekend getaway.

travailtotravel · 02/04/2021 13:26

In the strictest sense, perhaps you're right. Many families simply cant afford them so go without. Actually though I think we conflate holiday with away, and this is not helped by the staycation word. A staycation is NOT a holiday in the UK. That is a holiday and people talk about them like they're some kind of booby prize. The assumption that a holiday has to involve hotels and planes and beaches. Breaks at home or away are vital to mental health and respite from day to day nonsense of life. How many of us on here don't feel angry, drained, done in by the relentlessness of it all however much we love our families? That's exacerbated if you are struggling with long term illness, disability and so on. So away becomes another level and truly getting away from it all a bit of a holy grail of headspace. There is something though about the break or act of a break that feels more of a lifeline than a luxury at times.

Oileoloe · 02/04/2021 13:28

Actually I’d argue you’re a bit privileged being so dismissive! My youngest 3 have never had a passport, been on a ‘bland‘ cruise or a ‘couple’ of med trips. Frankly should the opportunity arise for either we’d be really bloody excited.

If many people wrote your OP it would be ‘I don’t think it’s a great time to go on holiday right now, but I do wish I could’.

Toilenstripes · 02/04/2021 13:29

I grew up in America and no one I knew took holidays. We might go to a local lake or campground but there was no taking two weeks abroad. I think it’s a cultural thing in Britain, maybe because of the weather?

StCharlotte · 02/04/2021 13:30

@XenoBitch

Not essential, no... but everyone is different. Some people live for their holidays away. It is what they go to work for. Don't look down your nose at people who get a different kind of enjoyment from life than you do.
Exactly this.

Why are your narrow horizons superior to my wanting to broaden mine OP?

Werkwerkwerkwerkwerk · 02/04/2021 13:31

Somebody (mid 60s) summed this up for me really well; they nearly lost their husband 35 years ago and life expectancy is shortened.
Therefore, yes it is a big deal to them, as they are always wondering 'how many more years have I got to make those memories'.
Certainly gave me a different perspective; it's not a big deal to me as I had taken for granted that I will (hopefully) have many more years to make up for it.

Ginevere · 02/04/2021 13:32

Of course holidays aren’t essential. Nor is wine. But I’m gutted I can’t have either right now.

I’d give anything for a beach holiday in the sun right now!!

dontdisturbmenow · 02/04/2021 13:32

I agree OP. We live for our holidays, do without many things to save for them, always plan the next etc...but we accept that it won't happen this year ans that it is for the best to finally get rid of Covid.

Hopefully there will be many more years to enjoy it again, without the worry of what we might be bringing back.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2021 13:33

This year MORE than any other year a holiday is ESSENTIAL

I work from home and haven't left my house for a year apart from park walks

I am DESPERATE to go and stay anywhere else - I am SICK of looking at the same 4 walls

Normally I don't care about holidays as my life is broken up with days out - which have been impossible for a year

dontdisturbmenow · 02/04/2021 13:34

Certainly gave me a different perspective
And how many could gave enjoyed a holiday next year or the year after but won't because they caught Covid and didn't make it.

It's easy to focus on what you are missing out on rather than what you're lucky to still have.

dontdisturbmenow · 02/04/2021 13:36

So it comes back to the sane old thing, ME, ME, ME, because I've had it so much worse than everyone else!

Fembot123 · 02/04/2021 13:36

@Ginevere

Of course holidays aren’t essential. Nor is wine. But I’m gutted I can’t have either right now.

I’d give anything for a beach holiday in the sun right now!!

Who says wines not essential? I don’t need to see that kind of negativity 😉😂
DumplingsAndStew · 02/04/2021 13:37

Another shit stirring first post 😂

poppycat10 · 02/04/2021 13:38

A staycation is NOT a holiday in the UK. That is a holiday and people talk about them like they're some kind of booby prize

I agree. Holidays are essential but going overseas is not, there are so many lovely places in the UK (and Ireland, which isn't part of the travel ban, although they've got to let in leisure travellers from the UK first). And no, the weather is not always sh*t or even most of the time.

supersonicginandtonic · 02/04/2021 13:38

@Silliantro no they're not essential but they are much more exciting than learning a language or reading a book 🙄
I work hard, I earn money to spend it so yea I'll holiday thanks

amusedbush · 02/04/2021 13:38

DH and I have always travelled a lot. Long haul holidays, city breaks, long weekends, lounging on the beach - whatever we fancied. We always had at least one flight booked and looked forward to it immensely.

Holidays are not essential but we both work hard and while DH has still been working as normal (postman) I’ve been stuck at home staring at the same walls for a year. I’d sell my granny to be somewhere else for a week or two.

Kokosrieksts · 02/04/2021 13:39

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Your comment made me laugh, thank you!

BogRollBOGOF · 02/04/2021 13:39

Thomas Cook was organising excursions by train in the 1850s.
The Victorians went to the sea, natural spas, or scenic areas because they recognised the health benefits of a change of scenery, fresh air and bathing.
Ill people. Sanitoria were common for people recivering from disease such as TB until the widespread use of anti-biotics in the 1950s.

Legislation to give UK workers paid annual leave has existed since 1938. Prior to that, for decades there were factory shut downs and mass tourism by train to seaside towns such as Blackpool, Western-Super-Mare, Brighton etc.

Since travel beyond the local area became posdible, people have travelled beyond their local area for pleasure, rest and recuperation.

Even before that, people had breaks from work to celebrate Saints Days and other festivals. Pilgrimage has a long history too.

For people with family abroad, the right to a family life is recognised as a human right.

While travelling abroad is generally a "luxury" there are many benefits to travel and holidays that enhance life. Especially after a year of staring at the same walls, and many people not having had a normal summer for 18m - 2 years.

TrustTheGeneGenie · 02/04/2021 13:40

@dontdisturbmenow

Certainly gave me a different perspective And how many could gave enjoyed a holiday next year or the year after but won't because they caught Covid and didn't make it.

It's easy to focus on what you are missing out on rather than what you're lucky to still have.

Oh seriously!

Come on - "at least you're not dead"

Yes because more years of life when you're locked in your own home with no joy left in your life is sooo much better.

diwrnachoflleyn · 02/04/2021 13:41

Totally essential to us; my family is abroad. We're going. We all speak 3 languages. Don't really care what randoms on the internet think, much less ones who think we should all do as they do. They can go and be as miserable as they like. I do me.

TheMotherlode · 02/04/2021 13:44

It’s the ‘non-essential’ things that make life worth living though.

It’s not really essential for you to read a book is it OP, why don’t you just stare at a wall all day. Because you want to do the things that you enjoy and for lots of people this means socialising and travel, etc.

likeafishneedsabike · 02/04/2021 13:44

Wow, you sound like a right bag of laughs OP Grin

Vivana · 02/04/2021 13:44

I have worked right through since last year and have worked under stress in caring for residents with covid. To me it is something to look forward to. I'm tired and would love a holiday

CheerfulBunny · 02/04/2021 13:44

What FrothyB said. I don't really get this strange neo-puritanical thing for sneering at people who want to go on holiday. I don't think it makes you entitled or dismissive of how much people have suffered at all. We all have different motivations in life, things that make life worth living and you shouldn't have to justify it. Everyone's fed up at the moment, completely natural to be and to want something to look forward to and plan for. My parents couldn't afford to take us on holiday every year when I was a child, not even in this country so I get it, its not possible for everyone all the time. But I love exploring other countries now and have friends in Europe I'm looking forward to seeing and I'm not going to apologise for that. Its like telling people they can't have steak because gruel and dry bread is quite suffient and they should be grateful to have food at all! Grin