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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that holidays are non essential?

479 replies

Silliantro · 02/04/2021 12:27

The amount of whinging about missing out on holidays here and elsewhere has been shockingly irritating. Will missing out on a couple of trips to Megaluf/bland med cruises REALLY be the end of the world? It's such a shocking tone-deaf and privileged way to live your life.

Will staying at home and talking to your DC/learning a language/read a few books really be the end of the world? It's pretty grim absolutely NEED trips abroad or the seaside to to distract yourself from your own life.

OP posts:
fairydustandpixies · 04/04/2021 20:12

I've not had a holiday in 9yrs. I'm still alive and breathing despite that...🙄

Skysblue · 04/04/2021 23:42

Depends where they live eh. If they have a nice house with a garden in a nice area then a holiday isn’t essential.

If they live for their annual holiday because their home is awful then that’s much more important and a big thing to take away from someone. I knew a factory worker in his fifties who lived with his mum and his entire self concept relied on the writing retreat he goes to once a year.

If all of your family is overseas and you haven’t seen them in over a year... That is essential.

Werkwerkwerkwerkwerk · 05/04/2021 07:25

@Abraxan I've got everything crossed for you (and everyone else desperate to get away); sounds like you could really do with a holiday after that lot. Hoping you start to feel better too.

Darbs76 · 05/04/2021 07:38

For me holidays are what make life exciting. My kids are 13 & 16 and we have missed 2 summers with them now. The kids are drifting apart, different gender, little in common, holidays bring them together again. We both work hard and love travelling. So yes I do want to go on holiday again when it’s safe to do so. Fair enough some people aren’t fussed about overseas travel but many of us are

derxa · 05/04/2021 07:50

@Bouncebacker

YABVVVU - for me, a holiday is new horizons, open spaces, a different pace of life, new people, languages, cultures, museums, different ways of thinking, different food, art, environment- travel broadens my mind, gives me space to reflect on my life and reassess things that aren’t important - I’m really really missing all of that - Magaluf would not be my first choice though....
What's wrong with Magaluf? Such snobbery on here
VivienScott · 05/04/2021 08:01

Depends how you define essential. No it’s not essential you go to a sunny beach abroad etc, but right now, a break, a change of scenery etc is becoming essential for many people’s mental health. Most people have been confined to their homes pretty much for a year now, working from home, not seeing other humans etc. People are actually starting to exhibit mild symptoms of solitary confinement.
To say people don’t need a mental break or change of scenery right now is ridiculous

IcedPurple · 05/04/2021 09:54

@fairydustandpixies

I've not had a holiday in 9yrs. I'm still alive and breathing despite that...🙄
Your gold medal is in the post.
Parker231 · 05/04/2021 09:57

A holiday may not be essential to some but it is to us and it doesn’t involve staying in the U.K.. can’t wait to get on a plane again and start exploring the world.

Maray1967 · 05/04/2021 10:15

Perhaps not essential but certainly valuable for most of us. For us they are times when our DC connect when they don’t normally ( big age gap) and we all look forward to them and have a great time. I’d sacrifice a lot to have a holiday - they are prioritised over new furniture for example or a car upgrade.
Alcohol isn’t essential. I’m wondering what would happen if the alcohol aisles were taped off as ‘non-essential.’ Clearly the government dared not go there and yet alcohol fuelled gatherings are likely to be COVID spreaders perhaps as much as holidays.
And yes, there are great places in the UK but there are also unfriendly attitudes in some of them (cafes banning kids) and sadly no guarantee of decent weather. So while mostly great for a short break I want to be away abroad for a summer holiday either on a plane or in the car driving abroad. And if I’m criticised for flying, I’ll only be criticised by families with no more than two DC. I won’t be preached at by those with 3 or 4 who conveniently overlook the impact on the planet of having more than reproduced themselves while criticising families who have one trip abroad a year.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 05/04/2021 10:16

Holidays are for many people the thing that makes life worth living.
And for most people it does them a lot of good. We all need recreation.

And fwiw I don't think people who have family abroad should feel they have a greater right to travel to see them (unless care is involved) than someone who has worked hard all year, perhaps in a thankless low-paid job, to have a boozy week in Spain.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 05/04/2021 10:18

I am wincing at the snobbery on here.

JudgeRindersMinder · 05/04/2021 10:19

@Enidblyton1

A holiday can have a huge positive impact on mental health.
This. I struggle with depression, and always have a dip in winter. The last 2 winters I’ve got away for a week in the sun and haven’t had that dip. It’s not a coincidence. Even my GP says I need to see it as a priority
OverByYer · 05/04/2021 10:21

They’re essential to me. It’s what I work so hard for the rest of the year. I love visiting new cities - doesn’t have to be abroad. And I love going to Spain, feeling the sun on my skin, wandering and people watching on the promenades. I have found it difficult to motivate myself in lockdown as I’ve kept working as normal it don’t have anything to look forward to.

llm24 · 05/04/2021 10:30

I haven’t read all the comments but has anyone stopped to think about people who work in the travel industry praying they have a job to go back to , thinking of all the people who have lost their jobs
This industry has not made any money since March 2020 , we need to get it going again ( in the safest possible way )

JammyGem · 05/04/2021 10:31

Of course holidays aren't essential. A break could be classed as essential for your mental wellbeing, but that doesn't have to be abroad, or even out of your house!

We can't afford a holiday, and likely won't be able to for several years. It's a lovely thought but hardly essential. I was very lucky growing up and my parents had the money to take us on expensive holidays to far flung places, but even though they were every year I understood we were extremely lucky and that wasn't normal for most.

JammyGem · 05/04/2021 10:32

And I say that as someone who worked in the travel industry up until very recently (yes, my job was affected by covid...)

PradaBallbag · 05/04/2021 10:38

@llm24

I haven’t read all the comments but has anyone stopped to think about people who work in the travel industry praying they have a job to go back to , thinking of all the people who have lost their jobs This industry has not made any money since March 2020 , we need to get it going again ( in the safest possible way )
Agree with this 100%. I'm waiting with bated breath for the announcement later today. I have a large sum needing payment later this week on a June holiday, and I'm very much hoping I can have the confidence to push the 'pay' button.
Buzzinwithbez · 05/04/2021 10:43

It's probably the last year my eldest will want to come away with us rather than their mates. Also days out that are attractive to teenagers are the best way of bringing us together as a family. It's more successful than saying come on kids, let's get a board game out. After this year, a holiday would be on credit and added probably have a couple of the kids friends in tow but it would be worth it for what it brings to our family.

ZenNudist · 05/04/2021 10:48

They aren't essential but if I don't leave my home I have the kind of job its impossible to get away from. Take next week. Booked the week off, cleared my diary, urgent work came in so I have to do it. If I were on physical holiday preferably no wifi or phone signal I'd be able to say no. End result is i get burned out.

BonnieDundee · 05/04/2021 16:33

Of course holidays aren't essential, but people are still allowed to be disappointed that they can't go on them

No you're not. You must revel in not being able to go on holiday or else you are failing Grin

WhirlingGerbil · 05/04/2021 22:21

Yes. Holidays are nonessential. Overseas travel is nonessential. Having a baby, almost a year ago, who has yet to meet her grandparents who live overseas... I guess that's nonessential too, but I can tell you, it stings a bit.

MouldyPombear · 05/04/2021 22:34

They're essential to me because I work for a travel company.
I would prefer not to be made redundant. Again.

PradaBallbag · 06/04/2021 07:58

@MouldyPombear

They're essential to me because I work for a travel company. I would prefer not to be made redundant. Again.
I feel for you, really I do. That's what threads like this completely forget - those who rely on travel for their livelihoods.

Interestingly, Jet2 Holidays have just allowed me to move my final balance which was due on Friday out by 4 weeks. Hope the situation is a bit clearer by then.

MargosKaftan · 06/04/2021 08:36

@Silliantro - if you are still reading, perhaps a better way to look at it : lockdowns, restrictions and social distancing rules require the vast majority of people to sign up for it. The police can't deal with mass ignoring of the rules (by that, I dont mean a protest, but say 70% of households ignoring the rules, 50% of shops not bothering with any restrictions).

What is essential is for the majority of people for whom covid 19 will be no worse than a bad cold, to agree what they are being asked to give up is worth it for protecting random strangers.

A holiday isn't essential as such, but if its a line that large numbers are saying "no, I won't give up that", then its essential to make it happen rather than face losing the cooperation of the majority.

I've reached the point where I will follow any rule I have no choice to follow, but I dont care and I dont want to anymore. I dont want to sacrifice anything for strangers. I dont want to cancel parties or holidays or nights out or anything to help someone else anymore.

It is essential the government convinces me and others than not letting us travel is essential to stop the NHS collapsing. Anything less than that doesn't seem the sacrifice is essential.

There are too many people who seem to think the government should have the right to decide what im allowed to do. Not have to justify everything they are not letting me do. The default position should not be "no", but "your choice unless there's a proven need to say no".

I see no need for travel to be banned once we've tipped past 75% of adults vaccinated. There might be a case to ban travel to certain countries, or certain regions of some countries, but a flat ban is not justified.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 06/04/2021 08:40

Holidays may not be 'essential' but they are critical for some right now. And will help save some peoples lives. People are suffering from mental health issues and a holiday for all those people, will drastically improve the symptoms for many.

So from that perspective, they are essential therapy or must be replaced with something that achieves the same result. Can you think of something OP?