to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

[newnails]

i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

and to answer your question - I would expect a single parent who is physically and mentally able to survive by going out to work. Same as I do, same as my partner did. Same as i have done since leaving education.

because life as a single parent claiming benefits is such a fantastic life then why wouldn't you want to come and join us.
its great, you get a free house (ok you will need to get some rat traps as its probably behind some grotty take away, teh local school is a sink school but as you cant afford to run a car its tough as its the only one you can get to, you will have to get your kids lots of thick clothes to sleeop in as teh windows are drafty and the room is covered in damp - but hey its free woohoo)
oh and you get loads of money each week (about £80 i think for you and one kid. can't wait to get that plasma tv all us SMOB's have)

oh and as an added extra you can have loads of laon sharks come round opffering you great deals on a loan. borrow £100 pay back £300. now thats a bargain. which is great cos you need to get your kid the latest gear to wear so he can make all the kids whose parents work jealous

yeah of course I'm a daily mail reader. Love Linda Lee potter (who the fuck????) Same as i live in a fuck off big house with a mortgage and vote Tory. Why bother posting anything when the likes of lazyemma and mamazon think they know everything!!

eh?

if the fact that they are working passed me by then how could I suggest they now go on benefits? that doesn't make sense. Not sure which bit to reply to because they conflict.

if working couples have less than people on minimum income then how did that happen if it's not bad management or poor choices? tell me

I would love to join in the rant in the style of the Op...
me and dh work full time, and he has a 2nd evening job also. We have 3 kids. We bought our first house this year. And sometimes, in fact often, I feel so so tired and exhausted, as does DH, I get up at 6 every day to get everything ready, then take dd to nursery, dcs to school, rush to work, do an 8 hour day plus bring files home with me, then rush back to collect everyone, rush home, Dh cooks dinner when he is not working in the evenings, or I do it if he is, then its back out again to everyones various activites. I feel like I spend most of my life exhuasted working to pay a mortgage on yes, a really lovely house. but i work far more than i want to, i miss out on seeing my kids as much as i want to, and sometimes i do get pissed off with some of the other mums at school, who drop the kids off, go home to their state subsisdised house (either council house, or housing benefit being used to pay for it) and watch telly all day (i am not being bitchy, this is what they've told me they do) . We never have any money left to go out to the pub or for dinner or even to buy new clothes for ourselves, whereas this particular group of mums who all liv on the same estate seem to do nothing but shop, go out for drinks together, go out to the cafe after they've dropped the kids off - I cannot even affor lunch at work and bringf a packed lunch every day! And I have to confess I resent it. I am like the OP. I fully support the benefits system, i understand fully the need for a safety net to catch people in need.

BUT I think once your kids are in school and you have nothing to do all day anymore - why aren;t you at work?!!

Ithink sometimes that if I did not have to pay the tax for the people to sit at home watching telly all day, i would be so much better off, and for our 3 jobs between us, DH and I could actually have a few luxuries!

I am in no way tarring everyone with the same brush, have lived on benefits myself, (when I was a student single mum) and felt really awful the whole time, so I do appreacite its not all roses, but ....

I think when you spend your life working to make ends meet and never have any disposable income, when you see people who do fuck all and have plenty, because they get benefits from the state which your taxes have contributed to - it gets a bit galling!

I would love to join in the rant in the style of the Op...
me and dh work full time, and he has a 2nd evening job also. We have 3 kids. We bought our first house this year. And sometimes, in fact often, I feel so so tired and exhausted, as does DH, I get up at 6 every day to get everything ready, then take dd to nursery, dcs to school, rush to work, do an 8 hour day plus bring files home with me, then rush back to collect everyone, rush home, Dh cooks dinner when he is not working in the evenings, or I do it if he is, then its back out again to everyones various activites. I feel like I spend most of my life exhuasted working to pay a mortgage on yes, a really lovely house. but i work far more than i want to, i miss out on seeing my kids as much as i want to, and sometimes i do get pissed off with some of the other mums at school, who drop the kids off, go home to their state subsisdised house (either council house, or housing benefit being used to pay for it) and watch telly all day (i am not being bitchy, this is what they've told me they do) . We never have any money left to go out to the pub or for dinner or even to buy new clothes for ourselves, whereas this particular group of mums who all liv on the same estate seem to do nothing but shop, go out for drinks together, go out to the cafe after they've dropped the kids off - I cannot even affor lunch at work and bringf a packed lunch every day! And I have to confess I resent it. I am like the OP. I fully support the benefits system, i understand fully the need for a safety net to catch people in need.

BUT I think once your kids are in school and you have nothing to do all day anymore - why aren;t you at work?!!

Ithink sometimes that if I did not have to pay the tax for the people to sit at home watching telly all day, i would be so much better off, and for our 3 jobs between us, DH and I could actually have a few luxuries!

I am in no way tarring everyone with the same brush, have lived on benefits myself, (when I was a student single mum) and felt really awful the whole time, so I do appreacite its not all roses, but ....

I think when you spend your life working to make ends meet and never have any disposable income, when you see people who do fuck all and have plenty, because they get benefits from the state which your taxes have contributed to - it gets a bit galling!

I don't normally post of these type of threads, but Newnails..."I was not expecting this"......ffs exactly what were you expecting then? Did you not think your post a tad inflammatory or that it wouldn't stir up a hornet's nest? If you genuinely didn't and you are new to Mumsnet then I'm out of order and I apologise, but talk about light the blue touch paper and retreat to safe distance.

For what it's worth.....never judge a book by the covers, get on and enjoy your own life with your dh and your kids and don't waste your energy getting worked up about what you are never going to change, right or wrong. Life is too short.

It may have something to do with housing benefit/ free prescriptions etc etc etc, you know, all the things you get for free if you're on benefits but you have to pay for if you are working.

Sixlostmonkeys.... i'm almost losing the will to live, but for one final time.... My partner does not earn enough to pay our rent,council tax,bills,food,etc Therefore I have to work. It doesnt mean that as a couple we have less than minimum income. What it DOES mean is that I have no choice about working if I remain living with my partner. If we split, then I will receive income support and won't have to work. But I actually want to stay living with the father of my children, even though we have our ups and downs and life can be bloody tough at times. Does that explain it better?

Olala thank you. very clearly explained. I'm sure many of us know exactly how you feel.

nope - all this isn't explaining it better.

taking benefits from people will not improve the working persons life.

Working couples have the distinct advantage of been able to juggle child care, working overtime for extra money etc etc - none of this applies to the single person on benefit. Single on benefit means you get a set income, no extras, if you fall behind no one helps to pick you up.

Why would any working person believe they have a right to it all? or even to more than their neighbour? You reap what you sow.

Olala your poet has justified my argument.

sixlostmonkeys, if you choose to stay at home rather than work, and ultimately have as much or more available money and lots more free time than someone who does work, does that make it easier for you to understand?

inthegutter - You're the one who seems to think you know everything. You make out like being on benefits is some sort of lifestyle choice. Who in their right mind would choose to be on benefits if they truly had all the options open to them? Have you actually bothered to read anyone else's posts at all? You say you've got it tough, but from your description I'm struggling to see how. You're living with your partner, who you love, both caring for your children and contributing to the household. So you're a bit skint - who isn't, nowadays? Your total lack of ability to empathise with people in different situations to makes your argument totally unconvincing. You remind me of a truculent child whining "it's not FAIR".

inthegutter - you just said "My partner does not earn enough to pay our rent,council tax,bills,food,etc"

so if a single parent was to go out and get the same job how would they survive?

you really need to think about your argument a little more

noname - I believe it has been explained time and time again about the amount of money people on benefits get - do you honestly believe that this benefit provides more 'free' money than that of a working person?....who can [sigh] do overtime....juggle childcare....get promotion.....

Ola, you've got a mortgage on a gorgeous house! No-one forced you into that situation - you decided what you want in life and now you're working for it. Well, good for you. Have a medal. What has that got to do with single parents on state benefits?

Kerry mum, i am 100% not lumping you in with the mums at my school i am griping about. I am not even making a general comment about SAHM on benefits, or whateber they are called, I am just saying that sometimes when I am literally dizzy with exhuastion at the end of the day, and then start the work I couldn't finish at actual work, as I had to leave at 5pm to rush home and collect the kids etc, I resent the mums at school who I know have done literally nothing all day. And got paid for it. I wouldn't pay them less on benefits, no way, I don't want to see their children live in poverty, but I do think the only way they will get them and their children OUT of poverty, is to work, and show their children - 'look, this is what you do - you earn your crust!' not 'look, this is what you do, when your 17, we'll go down the council, tell them I'm chucking you out, you can pretend you're gonna be homeless, get a flat, then you're sorted, couple of years of pretending to look for a job later, you can have a baby, then thats it, venefits for life' there are some families at our school where there are FOUR GENERATIONS yes FOUR!!!! of parents who have not worked. How are their children ever going to learn?

But I really cannot stress how much i know benefits are needed, and it is not easy for vast numbers of people on benefits, but the piss takers are the ones who are most visible to me through my exhaustion as sometimes i feel like they are just flaunting in my un made up face!

But you can still afford the internet access KerryMum can't you?

Now is that a necessity or a luxury?

I just wondered because I'm not sure I can afford to pay mine for much longer.

OK, my take on it is that in this day and age no child should have to be in childcare in order for their parent(s) to work to feed and clothe them. I cannot understand the government's position that all "feckless" single parents should be forced back into work. The best thing for any child is to be looked after by their parents, and that's good for society too.

But this also applies to couples and well as single people. For many of us outside the system it is also a massive struggle unless both can find suitable jobs to fit around childcare, assuming there is any available. And to end up doing a job you hate, while you pay a fortune to have someone else bring up your child, is just the worst thing. It has somehow become the norm for both parents to work, therefore unless one parent is on a very good wage indeed a couple that wants to bring up their own child will always struggle.

IMO there should be an allowance paid to all stay at home parents, which acts as an INCENTIVE for a single parent or one of a couple to stay at home and bring up the children. It is often forgotten that bringing up a child is the hardest job of all.

(BTW Harman, a couple of us also posted details of our income )

well, I for one am totally happy with the proportion of the income tax I pay going towards state benefits. And I hope that, in turn, should I ever be in need of state support, the likes of HappyMum, NoName and inthegutter aren't holding the purse strings.