to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

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i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

lazyemma, yes I know, its my choice. I know. I'm happy with it. I don't want to go back on benefits - it was a very humiliating experience and I could not wait to be paying my own way. I do remember though, that even though I was a full time student whilst I was on benefits, I had a lot of time to spend in the park lazing around with my children, sometimes even with my then boyfriend, as the dcs were at school / subsidised nursery, and I could afford free time.... and that was not my life plan, to just carry on doing that, I was on benefits as a means to an end, whilst I got my degree, to enable me to go into higher level jobs with higher earning potential, so that I could provide for me and the DCs. The mums I am moaning about AND I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT I AM NOT WRITING OFF THE ENTIRE SAHMOB POPULATION HERE -= please read that in my other posts - are ones who seem to gratuitously asipre to nothing but benefit claiming.

As far as you are concerned, is every single SAHM OB working their butt off to do their best for their kids? or are some a bit , dare I say it, lazy?

Gosh Is this thread a record? If all these single mums have so much disposable income then perhaps they must be defrauding the system. You can always report them. You will have to give your name and address if you wish to get the £xx? reward. Then treat yourselves to a few costa coffee's. Just be careful how you drink it!
Seriously I think the government has tried to address single parent benefits. But not gone far enough. They may make it fairer one day and actually help get people back to work.

And actually twinklemegan, there is a huge amount of research showing that the kids of working parents do better academically, and that for kids who go to nursery from ag 2 (i think, correct me if I am wrong) even for a few hours a week, when tested with kids who have not gone to nursery at all, the gap in attainment and understanding is very pronounced in children as young as 4.

I think the gvt are damn right to be getting as many people out to work as possible. Not so that we are all just breaking our necks to work to pay childcare fees. THere needs to be a balance. And that balance is so hard to find, I know as I am trying, but I def think work is a good thing. I fully accept parents of childrens with special needs, difficult circs etc, must be supported to stay at home if they need to etc, but in the main, that is not the case.

lazyemma, the important bit of your post was 'in need'

I never suggested for one moment that those 'in need' shouldn't be helped.

Amazing how many have jumped to conclusions isn't it.

Some people are lazy. But the picture you paint - of women with the same potential and opportunities as everyone else, lounging around coffee shops and parks whilst decent hardworking people go out to their jobs, makes up a tiny proportion of benefit claimants. Everyone seems to have a friend of a friend like that, but I've worked for a long time with single mums on income support trying to get back into employment, and I know that for the majority of people, the reality is rather less sunny and carefree.

magdelanian, maybe the mums who get on my nerves are fraudsters but i doubt it, i am fully aware they don't haev more money than me, they have a lot less, but they have a lot more disposable income than me, and sometimes when i work this hard, i want to be able to buy new shoes whenever i fancy it, or go and get a latte every day after dropping the kids off to school, like they can. And I can't/. And it grates.

that last post directed to Olala btw.

And NoName - my point is that currently, it is not for you or I to decide who is genuinely "in need" - and thank god for that. There are criteria. Some people meet it, some don't - and that's how it should be, in my view.

im a student nurse, i worked since i was 14 i have been with my partner for 4 years and although im 19, and trying to do somehing good with my life im not entitled to benefits, if i was 17 or 25+ i wuld be entitled, i no ths is slightly off the point but its completly unfair

keep going!

you're getting close!

Lazyemma, I totally agree. I know every much that so many mums on benefits have confidence problems, even literacy problems, and getting a job would be a huge deal for them and really hard for them to maintain. I fully appreciate that.

But there are huge numbers of people who kn, they didn't go to the university I went to, but they went to my school, their kids go to school with my kids, and ok, they didn;t go home to my fabulously encouraging parents, they went home to their own who were different, and so who can blame them for their lack of achievemebt? fine. But who is ever going to break this cycle! If they cannot becasue their upbringing was rubbish, so they then deliver a rubbish upbringing to their own children, so their own children grwo up and do the same for theirs and on and on and on....where does it end? and how?

Lazyemma I'm not whinging actually. I'm not saying i've got it tough. I get on and do my job because it needs doing. But the fact is, that if i remain living with the father of my children (who actually would quite like to be around to bring up the children he chose to father) the I DON'T have the option of not working. If I were to leave my partner, I WOULD have that option. And that isnt right or fair. I'm NOT saying that single parents should be slated/strung up/made to live in abject poverty. I am simply saying that parents who remain together should NOT be disadvantaged and treated as second class citizens because of it.

lazyemma you are right, it is not for me or you to decide who is in need, that doesn't preclude me or you from having an opinion, and we are entitled to state our opinion either verbally or here on the net or in writng to anyone who may be interested.

i agree with the fact that were all allowed opinions, i personally just wish the system was fairer

in the gutter I'm not sure how you think you'd be better off as a single mum? i must have missed something.

I certainly wouldn't be able to make ends meet even for a moment if me and DH lived apart - we'd have to pay for 2 homes and at the moment we are struggling to pay for one!
how would that work?

i'm sure I've seen a thread with 1300 plus posts

so looks like this one will be around for a while

and yuk

"I'm NOT saying that single parents should be slated/strung up/made to live in abject poverty."

finally!

"I am simply saying that parents who remain together should NOT be disadvantaged and treated as second class citizens because of it."

But they're not the advantages of these couples has been pointed out time and time again.
If these couples feel so disadvantaged then maybe energy should be put into changing their own set-up rather than their neighbours?
Treated as second class citizens? how? where? when?

laurie, that was the McCann thread. the techs left that open deliberately so more threads wouldn't be started.

thank fuck expat

keep posting

"Die you mother fucker, die die "

Olala , the way it would work is that DP would rent a small flat for himself and I would be able to claim housing benefit and income support. Therefore I would have a choice about whether to work. I can't claim those now, even though my partner doesnt earn enough to cover our living costs, because we live under the same roof with the children we chose to have together. Funny old world isnt it?

Ah only a few more messages until someone can start anew one about all those scrounging benefit claimants.
How wonderful.
I normally love mumsnet and its debates, but seems the threads are full of denial and offense today.

Are there not means tested benefits for two parent families also? There is a safety net. Presumably it is worth the second partner going to work only if this first income is too high.

Can I do that line thing I've wished I had the balls to do before???

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It didnt look as good

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