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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to find this a bit odd from bf?

89 replies

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:36

Feel free to tell me if I'm being a bit over the top.
Boyfriend and i live together but also spend some time alone which is important. He's really good at communicating usually.
We usually drop each other a text to say what time we're back roughly, arrangements for tea etc.

He went on a walk today with a male friend who he's not seen since last year apparently, it's an hour away, think they've met up halfway.

I texted him something short at 10am and not had any reply.

Still isn't back or said anything at all all day which is weird. Obviously wouldn't expect someone to be with their friend and spend their time texting me, everybody needs a break, but nothing to even say he's gonna be back late etc.
We usually have tea around 6.

They've been somewhere in the countryside but it's pitch black now and I'm thinking what would they be doing at this time, there's nowhere to go? No pubs etc.

I've never met this friend but he seems a bit off to me, I can't explain it but I saw my boyfriend and him messaging on messenger once and there was just something off in the way he was writing, it sounds so ridiculous I know.

He went for a walk yesterday with another friend and he seemed like a cool guy, he was back after about 3-4 hours.

Just something feels off?

OP posts:
Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:37

They were due to meet at 1pm today apparently.

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NerrSnerr · 31/03/2021 20:39

Could he have gone back to his friends for a couple of beers (in his garden if he is compliant with Covid regs?)

Have you called him? In this situation I'd just call to check all is ok.

cakecakecheese · 31/03/2021 20:40

He's still not back? Have you called him?

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:40

Possibly, but his friend lives 2 hours away from us (an hour away from where they met up)

I will perhaps send a text in a bit.

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imalmostthere · 31/03/2021 20:41

Call him?

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:41

He's pretty strict about Covid rules so can't see him going to the friend's house indoors but maybe I'm wrong

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GreenLeafTurnip · 31/03/2021 20:41

I'd be worried to be honest. Although I have experienced this before with a bad ending. Husband got into a fight because he was so drunk and couldn't find his way home. Fingers crossed it's all alright for you though.

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:42

I'm worried if I'll call I'll look OTT like I'm checking up, but maybe I should.

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SionnachGlic · 31/03/2021 20:42

Just wait til he is back & ask then.

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:43

Oh no sorry to hear about your husband :( I should call in a bit I think. I just think that friend is dodgy and don't know why.

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XiCi · 31/03/2021 20:43

You live together, so are in a serious relationship but don't even feel like you can call him to see what going on? He's been gone 7 hours. WTF wouldn't you call him and see where he's up to?

Justmuddlingalong · 31/03/2021 20:43

Could they sozzled in a park somewhere?

Goingtogetflamed · 31/03/2021 20:43

What was off about the friend’s writing style?

CaffeineAndCrochet · 31/03/2021 20:43

Can you tell if he's read the message?

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 31/03/2021 20:44

They’ve gone for a walk in the countryside and not told you where or how long?

First rule of safe walking is tell someone your route and approx time to expect back. I make DH send me a screenshot or his route, not to be creepy, but because countryside walks have hazards and if you fell over and broke a leg no guarantees of passers by.

PenfoldPenny · 31/03/2021 20:44

Maybe the battery has gone on his phone?
Or hes managed to loose it? Or drop it in a river? etc
I hope he is back soon and everything is alright. I hate not knowing what is going on and why.

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:44

You're right, I am gonna call him now, it's been a while.

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Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:45

He fell over and hurt his ankle when walking alone the other week too.

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Thehop · 31/03/2021 20:45

What did you feel was off about the messenger?

GoWalkabout · 31/03/2021 20:45

What sort of 'off'? Drugs? Other woman?

Chocolatefordinner · 31/03/2021 20:45

If you live with your boyfriend you are allowed to call them to check they’re ok. Keep it casual, like - do you want me to make you anything to eat or have you eaten?

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:46

He just sounded a bit 'hippy' and i think the type that does drugs.

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lilsquish · 31/03/2021 20:46

I dont see how calling him would be weird.

you live together, normally in regular contact etc.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 31/03/2021 20:46

Ps call now and ask if he wants dinner plates up or eta so you can go to bed etc.

I generally say trust your gut instincts too regarding the friend.

Tatiana30 · 31/03/2021 20:46

Yeah that's good idea about asking if he's eaten.

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