How involved are you in your other half's life?

[merrynelly]

Do you always know where they are, and if not do they tell you? E.g would it bother you if they had stopped off to see friend/family on their way back from work and then came home and never mentioned it and you only found out when the friend/family member mentioned it to you in passing? Do you know what they spend their money on and how much they spend and do you ever ask if you see them with something new? Do you have individual savings or shared? Do they share private information relating to their friends and family?

Very bizarre question I know, and I have no doubt it varies person to person, but I've been raised seeing an extremely dysfunctional relationship through my parents, and I'm trying to ascertain what is healthy/the norm and what is controlling/overbearing.

DH would tell me if he was stopping off to see someone on the way home, not because I control him but because he'd be later than expected and also because we do discuss everything we're up to, just as part of our lives together, again not for controlling reasons.

We each have our own bank accounts as well as a joint one, we don't run purchases past each other unless it's something big or we want the other's opinion.

It's not often either of us goes anywhere unplanned so we'd say, and we generally have the sort of relationship where we do discuss everything, it's just the way we are with each other.

We're pretty independent but we'd also mention when we'd seen someone because that just comes up during the course of a conversation.

The only 'thing' I ask him to do is text me when he's got to a destination he's cycling to as I've watched too many episodes of 24 hours in a&e.