Not a stealth brag... Tips on raising an exceptionally beautiful child.

[Trytrytryasimight]

I know. I'm cringing at the thread title too.

I'm absolutely average, so is her dad. She happens to have an aunt who is an outlier in their family that looks like Claudia schiffer, and seems to have inherited all of her looks from her.

She's all rosy cheeks enormous green eyes and a mass of curly blond hair that never seems disheveled. She chooses her own clothes, keeps them nicely and puts them together so she looks fabulous every time. She is that child and this is through no effort of my own - I was more of an awkward indie kid through my tweens and teens. I can see other girls want to be her friend cause she's fun and kind but then look decidedly jeolous and irritated at dds clothes, hair, general oh wow look I'm so perfect and yet so pretty unspoken general vibe.
She's 12 and we've noticed teachers, club leaders, family members do seem to give her some kind of preferential treatment and I think it's becuase she is very compliant to adults and also very pretty she is.she is also genuinely good hearted and we've never had any reason to think she is unkind to others.
I want to guide her as best I can, as having an opposite experience of my looks growing up and generally being fairly invisible, I don't really know what you to help someone not place too much worth in their looks while acknowledging it's a lovely thing to be beautiful. Any advice on how to raise a particularly good looking child??

Flaming spellcheck...chiseled cheekbone

I think it’s tricky working out how much to compliment kids. I think it can be damaging to go too overboard complimenting your kids in any area TBH. Telling a kid that you think they are amazingly clever can result in kids thinking they are little geniuses which can go tits up when they get older and don’t always preform as well as they think they should. I made sure my kids knew I loved them for being them but I underplayed my natural Motherly gushy’ness about their all around amazingness 😅. I wince when I hear performance parents constantly telling their little darlings how incredible they are.

At the end of the day most of us grow up to be average and that should be ok.

@Justdowhatyouweretold

Often the ones who are really pretty as young girls go a bit funny looking during and after puberty.

Oh reallllly 😂

@Justdowhatyouweretold

Often the ones who are really pretty as young girls go a bit funny looking during and after puberty.

‘Often’ - really....?

Or perhaps ‘sometimes’?

Or maybe even just ‘occasionally’?

Because ‘really pretty girls going a bit funny looking’ really isn’t something I’ve observed!
In fact, such a comment reeks of sour grapes.

I’ve observed more the opposite - that puberty and teenage-hood brings out young people’s attractiveness.

I am surprised at a lot of the answers you have received OP. I get your predicament - perhaps because I also grew up invisible. I have never had to think about whether someone one wants me around for my looks or had to take any extra precautions about my personal safety.

Small things like having lots of male friends and their wives and girl friends not feeling intimidated by me. Not getting cat called or approached by randoms.

I have know lots of women and girls though who haven't ever just been able to do this. They get attention - which can be unwanted where ever they go.

I also have a very pretty DD (who takes after her maternal grandmother not me!).And I also wonder about how best to prepare her for something that I have never experienced.

I too would worry about a good looking, overly compliant soon to be teenage girl (especially in light of current revelations about school culture...).

I’ve observed more the opposite - that puberty and teenage-hood brings out young people’s attractiveness

I absolutely disagree. 25 years a teacher. The golden children at school often become less attractive as they get older.

The nerds, geeks and misfits grow into themselves and take over the early bloomers. The early boomers lose their gloss early too.

The nerds, geeks and misfits grow into themselves and take over the early bloomers.

Yes, that’s exactly the point I’m making while not needing to go out of my way to be unkind to the already attractive kids.

And puberty is a time of feeling uncomfortable. Acne, puppy fat, wrong hairstyles, wrong clothes. Very few get through unscathed.

Don’t worry OP. She could quite easily grow up to be incredibly ugly!

Everyone feels their child is beautiful! Not sure what this post means ?

🍪

Make sure - as with any DC - do what you can to make sure she is brought up with a strong sense of self worth, independence and confidence. I actually don’t think you are being ridiculous here. Many girls who are very good looking can end up reliant on this and it leaves them open to becoming very insecure, false and preoccupied with appearances. Which is a dangerous place to be and does them no good in the long run in spite of short term gains, trust me.

Well I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Currently accepted standards of beauty are westernised

Why are some questioning what the OP thinks is beautiful?

Boris Johnson’s parents probably thought the same thing about him.

I stuck 'who is an exceptionally beautiful woman' into google. Top was Audrey Hepburn. So if your daughter, OP, looks like her she will be 'exceptionally beautiful'.

I think the most beautiful woman I have seen is Charlie Murphy (Irish actress, was in Happy Valley), also Sienna Miller and Rachel Weisz

@Justdowhatyouweretold

Often the ones who are really pretty as young girls go a bit funny looking during and after puberty.

some BS

I don't think a "beautiful" child should be raised any differently. Can't think of a single scenario to be honest. For me the compliance is the worrying bit. She needs to be able to keep herself safe now she is gettinf older and gaining independence. That is the same for all children though. This could make her more vulnerable and looks won't play into this. Even if she experiences jealousy it's the compliance that will be the problem. If you focus on her looks and they change then she may loose her sense of worth.

My personal thoughts on who I consider is a most exceptionally beautiful woman would be a young Kate Bush. Particularly when playing piano. Her grace, beauty and talent moves me to tears.

"First thing you need to do OP is warn your daughter how nasty and jealous other women can be." Correct! I am a jealous ugly hag!

So ignore her looks completely and focus on her achievements and character.

Not even a stealth boast. Subtle as a brick.

All our children are beautiful. I really wouldn't worry about it. I guarantee that others don't see your dd the same way you do. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Your daughters ‘easy journey’ is about to end. Prepare her for years of harrassment by men and jealousy by females followed by a lifetime of low self esteem. Sorry my observations. But if you raise her self esteem don’t gloat in her beauty and encourage her intelligence instead she might stand a chance.

OP my 2 children also have the God-given gift of absolute beauty, as does every other child in their mothers eyes. I can guarantee you that, unfortunately, not everybody will see your child as you do.

Ignore her looks. Teach her good manners, kindness and respect for all. Once you've done that, you'll be able to see how truly beautiful she is.