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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

830 replies

SylviaPlath1984 · 28/03/2021 09:22

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

OP posts:
Biscoffontoast · 28/03/2021 17:00

Not working hard enough at uni

Not having a defined career path

Not working to build a closer bond with my dad

Getting married (to the wrong person)

Having a child

RosesAndHellebores · 28/03/2021 17:01

@peachgreen I read your threads and with all my heart don't think you could have done anything better or more. Flowers

LavenderLollies · 28/03/2021 17:02

I don’t really have many, but this is mine:

Breastfeeding.

It nearly gave my son brain damage. I regret so much about having breastfed for seven months. It was a stupid decision on so many levels. Never again.

LavenderLollies · 28/03/2021 17:03

And ignoring my instincts to get a c section and going ahead with a vaginal birth. Second worst mistake of my life. I will never get over that. And I’ll never be able to use the bathroom the same again for the rest of my life.

fiftiesmum · 28/03/2021 17:03

@peachgreen - I agree it is unlikely you could have done anything to prevent this awful thing happening.
Only now are were beginning to screen young people to reduce the risk of this happening in the future.
I hope the guilt will recede in time - sending hugs.

mrshonda · 28/03/2021 17:04

Not following my heart, careerwise.
Not taking IVF when it was offered, because my husband said he didn't want children (two years later he left me for someone much younger and they had a baby).
Wasting time thinking about my dreams when I should have been out there, doing something about it.

IEat · 28/03/2021 17:05

Payday loans , catalogues and credit cards .. oh dear god why did I TWICE what an absolute idiot I am. 3 years to go and my Iva will be done and dusted
No credit from anywhere

Thighdentitycrisis · 28/03/2021 17:08

Not getting on the property ladder when I was in my mid twenties and my dad offered me money for a deposit.

Leaving a good school and ending up at a rubbish comp.Not being brave enough to explain what was causing me to mess up my life and seek help.
Messing up my O levels and thinking I was grown up and knew what I was doing.
Leaving home to squat in London with a boyfriend instead of going to the local college to study art, because it would have meant living at home.

Consistently underachieving and wasting opportunities because I felt so worthless and undeserving.

Pretty much all my life choices until my late twenties when my son was born, and some of them after that.

Not wearing more sunscreen.

QuiteContraryMarie · 28/03/2021 17:09

I wish I’d moved to Hong Kong when I had the chance.

Drunkenmonkey · 28/03/2021 17:11

Where to begin...
Not wearing my tiara on wedding day in case it looked 'naff' and choosing the wrong wedding dress.
Not pursuing my dream career because it would take too long. I could have done the studying three times by now.
Waiting to have children (should have started younger)
Buying a big flat rather than a small house
Behaving dishonestly at the beginning of my relationship with DH and being a selfish twat a lot in my 20's.
Not starting my pension sooner.

I regret a lot and I have to be so careful not to wallow in the past. What I don't regret are the last 5 amazing years with my kids which I can honestly say I have made the absolute most of.

Kitbiscuit · 28/03/2021 17:12

Not taking my sporting career seriously. Probably the only thing I was ever really really good at and I feel sad about letting that ship sail. I often think about where I'd be now if I was disciplined enough. But then I look at my DS and DH and feel guilty as I wouldn't have my family now...Does everything happen for a reason?

Drunkenmonkey · 28/03/2021 17:12

Ooooo not wearing suncream, forgot that one!

Flowers24 · 28/03/2021 17:16

I think for me travelling when i was young, parents expected me to do school, A levels, Uni, work, marriage, whereas would have been good to do the gap year and travel ay 18/19/20 first , or travel after uni. Hard to do that later on when you have kids and a mortgage.

WhipperSnapperSteve · 28/03/2021 17:17

Not being kinder to myself following a deeply traumatic childhood, the lack of self-worth and self-respect plagues me still in my 40s.

Not cutting off 'D'B sooner.

Not having another child.

Cocopogo · 28/03/2021 17:23

Not finding a nice man and getting married. Now guys only seem interested in one night stands or even those that want a relationship just swap out at the click of a button

MasterGland · 28/03/2021 17:23

I regret believing my mother, who told me I wasn't clever enough to become a vet.

I was.

Runnerduck34 · 28/03/2021 17:24

Not staying on in 6th form and furthering my education and possibly going on to do a degree.

Also slowly becoming overweight, easy to put on, hard to lose!

Livelovebehappy · 28/03/2021 17:24

Not having the wisdom at 20 that I do now at 48. Because my choices in life would have been so different if I had. I guess that’s why they say youth is wasted on the young.

Strokethefurrywall · 28/03/2021 17:26

Not flying back for my brothers wedding after he was diagnosed with cancer.

I'd just spent a month in UK with family and was 14 weeks pregnant. DBro and SIL decided to marry before his chemo started and we all naively believed that we would celebrate properly the following June which was there original wedding date.

Instead we were at his funeral. My only regret was that I didn't fly back for the wedding but stayed here at his insistence.

Other than that I have no regrets.

Worldwide2 · 28/03/2021 17:27

@topcat2014 I remember your posts on this, so sorry 😢💔 it must be so hard for you.

Flowers24 · 28/03/2021 17:27

Also for me probably having 4 kids, stopped at 2 as dh only wanted 1 and i persuaded him for no,2 but he wouldnt budge on any more. Im happy and ok with 2 now as too tired for more but would have liked to.

tigerbread20 · 28/03/2021 17:28

Taking mine/my families health for granted. Losing my mum to sudden cardiac death with no warning signs or time to say goodbye really changed my perspective on life. I won't take my family for granted again.

Other minor regrets, a uni degree that was to prove a point rather than my own happiness. Wasting money not saving etc but trivial in comparison.

Flowers24 · 28/03/2021 17:28

@LavenderLollies

I don’t really have many, but this is mine:

Breastfeeding.

It nearly gave my son brain damage. I regret so much about having breastfed for seven months. It was a stupid decision on so many levels. Never again.

Sorry to hear this, how did it almost give your son brain damage?xx
Worldwide2 · 28/03/2021 17:30

@lavenderlollies
Breastfeeding nearly gave your son brain damage? That sounds absolutely horrific.

pinkprosseco · 28/03/2021 17:31

@NotEver0

Controversial i know, but had i known my last child was going to be severely disabled and never be independent id never have had him.taking care of him has ruined me mentally and physically, my husband and i will always have to care for his needs 24/7 till we die,i could never put him in care services. Life is so very tough,every day.
Thankssorry to hear things are so tough