To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

Action I regret now - The man I chose to have a child with. DC deserved better.

Ones I might come to regret - a man, if I never get the meet him, online friendship, wished I’d met him instead of ex who cheated but that’s another story.

Not having a Second child, there’s a lot I missed out on as a single mother. Too much. I need to learn to accept my lot is my lot.

@Mintyt

I would have to name change to tell,

Perhaps.

In my case, I wish I'd reported abuse earlier. They (and they know who "they" are) have had a lifetime to work their shit, and they have worked their shit.

I appreciate this thread could be someone trying to "out" people like me. Sadly, there are lots and lots of us, so one more won't make any difference. Some people may recognise themselves. Most of the shits will be in denial.

@Gwenhwyfar, actually you chose the wrong part of my post to challenge. He is brave. He has to be, because the industry he wants to work in doesn't carry any passengers. If you are not contributing actively then you are OUT. It's fairly ruthless. So, if the XGF decides to teach, and have a salary, I would not quarrel with that choice.

I took up with an older married guy and I've end up kind of saddled with him, even after we split up. So my life hasn't been like other people's.

I wish I had not interfered in their marriage, and let them stay together or him end up with someone else.

Selling London flat about 10yrs ago (I had to) and not investing in a ngger flat in a worse area - areas where prices have gone up like crazy in about 5yrs from then - should have bought and rented it out while renting for myself out o London.
I couldn't be arsed with inconvenience of renting so bought elsewhere. As a result, I haven't made all the money I could have done which would have made all the difference for me now and in future. Maybe should have done let to buy, even. Of course I didnt know price will go up so much, it was a dip back then.

Don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet but Matt Haig’s book has some views on regrets. I’ll try to post a pic.

*investing in a bigger flat, that is

Wasting so much of my 20s in an abusive relationship, which ultimately cost me some of my best friends and my financial security. I also regret not coming out sooner and wasting so much time trying to be with men.

I'm mid 20s and I regret been stuck in what seems to be a dead end job with very little qualifications. I regret not doing something about my weight sooner. I regret not getting on the motorway as soon as I passed my test and now 2 years on I'm terrified of them!

Saving a particular quality street chocolate for the next day, by which time someone else had eaten it.

much needed light relief on this thread!

Not having children younger. I wish I’d started trying at 24 not 33.

This sounds big-headed, but I wish I had realised that as a young woman in the 60s and early 70s, I had everything-tall, slim, beautiful, clever -IQ of 145. What I lacked was courage, owing to punitive and neglectful parenting. I settled for the first man who took an interest in me-he was kind and attentive, unlike my father. But he was also needy, cowed by his own mother, and wanting me to be not his wife but his parent. I can't believe that I gave up so many amazing opportunities, because I believed that under it all, I was really a fraud, who would be unmasked if I stayed too long in one place. How destructive bad parenting is.

I presume it's better now than when I was growing up but if you're working class, learn how the middle class think and emulate it.

In the late 90's my local paper had an offer for a day trip to Iceland for £50.
I still think about it now and don't quite know why I didn't go.

I regret no saying yes to the lovely man who wanted to be with me. I met him when I was 19. Instead I ended up with a waste of space who hasn't bothered with his son for 13 years. It's been over 16 years now and every so often I wonder 'what if?' Haven't read all the replies and it may seem trivial compared to some but he's stayed with me (I'm 35 now)

Taking traditionally "female" subjects at school - history, English etc. rather than taking subjects which would have been more useful in my future career so business studies, economics etc but I was too uncomfortable and underconfident to be the only girl in the class when I was 14. I've caught up in my 13 year career but still feel like I'm missing something.
Also, I'd have loved to have spent some time living and working abroad before having children.

That I'd saved for a mortgage the day I started working rather than throwing my money away.
That I'd dealt with my anxiety better in my 20s by not smoking and drinking so much, I think my wrinkles now would be halved for that.
That I'd treated some people from my past much more kindly.
That I hadn't run after certain stupid men.

@tothesea

Not phoning my friend to check in on him. He didn’t answer my last two texts so I should have phoned him. He took his own life a week ago. I will live with that guilt forever.

I am so, so sorry. I commented earlier on this thread about the same thing, albeit much longer ago. That regret still stings just as it did at 17. Thoughts for you and his loved ones.

I regret not going for fertility testing sooner. We started trying to conceive and I had a niggling feeling that something was wrong after a few months but I waited for a whole year before getting tested (because that’s what everyone said we should do). Turns out we have a 0% chance of ever conceiving naturally and now any potential IVF is delayed even further due to the pandemic. Time is ticking on and really wish I’d trusted my gut instinct with that one

Thanks to all who have shared - a really interesting thread.

Not being more sensible with money in my 20s and 30s

@CatAndHisKit

Selling London flat about 10yrs ago (I had to) and not investing in a ngger flat in a worse area - areas where prices have gone up like crazy in about 5yrs from then - should have bought and rented it out while renting for myself out o London. I couldn't be arsed with inconvenience of renting so bought elsewhere. As a result, I haven't made all the money I could have done which would have made all the difference for me now and in future. Maybe should have done let to buy, even. Of course I didnt know price will go up so much, it was a dip back then.

I really, really hope that is a typo...

@Crispsareafoodgroup thanks for that. I haven't read anything of Matt Haig. It hits home, I am very concious of wasting a lot of my life feeling regret.

As previously suggested, the midnight library by Matt Haig is a must read. Don’t let regret stop you moving forwards xx

Nothing really.

There's several things that severely negatively impacted me but without them happening I doubt I'd have the good things and the world experience that I do now.

I wish I had more confidence that I didn’t spend my entire 20s worried about meeting the right guy and getting married. I had heartache after heartache with the worst men. I was so worried that nobody would want me that I pursued anyone. Ended up with a man who wasn’t right for me. Am now divorced and remarried. This is the biggest thing I am going to teach my children. Their WORTH. I was never taught it and it was hell. Teach your children they have WORTH.