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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a picture of wife age 18 on my computer?

118 replies

Dadforit · 27/03/2021 17:25

My wife and I are early 40s and have been together since sixth form. While sorting through some old stuff recently, I came across a photo of her on the beach that I took when we were 18. It brought back some happy memories, so I scanned the picture and set it as my laptop background.
I thought it would make her smile but she seems distinctly unimpressed. I've asked if it's a problem and if I should change it back, but she just says "it's fine" in an alarming way.
She knows how attractive I find her now, it's not as if I'm harking after her former self. And I took the picture, it's not like it's from years before we met. But am I missing something? Any thoughts gratefully received.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:15

Where's the OP gone?

Quaagars · 27/03/2021 18:16

It might have been her but it isn't her now

Of course it is!
Are we supposed to wipe all memories of our former selves?
Ridiculous

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/03/2021 18:16

Yes, you are missing something. That should have been obvious to you, so I'm not sure why you needed it confirming Hmm. Are you normally this dense? And it doesn't matter what we think. Your wife plainly doesn't like it, so the sensible thing to do would be to pick a picture from the current day and use that. Why do I feel I'm explaining this to a 5 year old? Hmm

MarieDelaere · 27/03/2021 18:17

@Sparklingbrook

Where's the OP gone?
1997
grapewine · 27/03/2021 18:17

@ScarfaceCwaw

I will genuinely never understand this place, and how many women here hate themselves and find it completely normal to expect other people to manage and accommodate their self-hatred.

Saying it's "weird and pervy" to have fond memories of when you and your wife were both 18 together. I mean, my God. Clearly the only acceptable way to feel is to assure your wife that you absolutely hated all the time you spent with her before 40, but fortunately on her 40th birthday you fell shatteringly in love with her.

If you don't like the way you look now compared to when you were 18, it's yours to manage, not on a partner to never look at or enjoy photos for that time. And also the PA "it's fine" when it's clearly not fine is bullshit.

Agree with this. This a parallel universe sometimes.
ButIcantsitonleather · 27/03/2021 18:18

It’s your computer, you can have what you like as the background.

I think people attacking you for essentially criticising your wife for ageing are reaching somewhat.

Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:18

I have an idea. It's a bit out there but worth a try.

Talk to her about it.

aSofaNearYou · 27/03/2021 18:20

I can see why she'd have that kneekerk reaction but I think if you explained it like you did here she should see it as quite sweet.

Vallmo47 · 27/03/2021 18:20

I would think our opinions don’t matter OP. Your gut was that SHE didn’t appreciate it, so definitely change it. Shame she didn’t take it as a sweet thing to do but there you go...

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/03/2021 18:21

It's an interesting thing to use as your first post though Hmm

speakout · 27/03/2021 18:21

Creepy.

MarieDelaere · 27/03/2021 18:22

Fail article?

Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:22

@MarieDelaere Grin Mmm Bop etc... But also the year Diana died. Sad

Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:23

@MarieDelaere

Fail article?
Item on Loose Women for Monday?
LaMainDeFatima · 27/03/2021 18:23

Do other people see the laptop ? I wouldn't like my face to be On screen in an office where others could see me

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 27/03/2021 18:24

@Sparklingbrook

Where's the OP gone?
he's gone now

and his wife is rinsing that teaspoon I mentioned earlier..

livinlavida2021 · 27/03/2021 18:25

I think your wife needs to grow up a bit actually and not be so sensitive!

LoveDrunk · 27/03/2021 18:25

It's an interesting thing to use as your first post though

Sure is....Hmm Why are people do fucking weird?

LoveDrunk · 27/03/2021 18:26

*so

Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:26

I think the wife has dug a picture out of the OP at 18 in his Speedos and made it her FB profile picture?

Quaagars · 27/03/2021 18:26

Where's the OP gone?

You posted this less than an hour after OP created the thread and only on page 2, blimey, not everyone's glued to the computer/phone the entire time, give 'em chance lol

Sparklingbrook · 27/03/2021 18:28

@Quaagars

Where's the OP gone?

You posted this less than an hour after OP created the thread and only on page 2, blimey, not everyone's glued to the computer/phone the entire time, give 'em chance lol

TBF why would you start a thread then disappear? Especially after saying replies are gratefully received. Confused An hour is quite a long time IMO.
Bagelsandbrie · 27/03/2021 18:30

I showed dh this thread and before he’d read it properly he thought the op was going to say the photo he’d thought as his wife wasn’t actually his wife... Grin That could have been an interesting twist!

greycloudysky · 27/03/2021 18:30

This thread is whacko.

Diesse · 27/03/2021 18:31

What wrong anyway with finding her more attractive when she was lighter/younger whatever. My husband was just bloody beautiful when I met him. Glorious looking. He’s 62 now, I love him hugely but he was definitely more beautiful back then. And so was I when I was 3 stone lighter and with no need of Botox, bright of eye and white of teeth. I’m not as hot as I was and nor is he.

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