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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp rated my body 3/5

96 replies

Franklyfrost · 27/03/2021 14:30

Last night dp and I were watching a lecture on the science of attraction. The lecturer showed a slide of a questionnaire used in a study. There are five categories: legs, arms, eyes, face and body size. In the study they asked people to rate their partner out of 5 for those categories. The lecturer says that we can try it at home. Dp writes ‘5, 3, 4, 5, 5’ in his notes. The slide changes and I can’t remember the order of the questions so I can’t work out what part of me is a 3. Dp refuses to tell me. We joke about it but he still won’t tell me. I ask him again today, making clear that I know it’s not a big deal but that not knowing is bugging me. Dp still won’t tell me and says it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not going to bring it up with him again as it will end in a fight but I’m feeling a bit sad and can’t let it go in my head.

I’m not sure if it’s relevant but I drew a big 5 in my notes.

So help me reach some resolution:
YABU I’m being neurotic and need to get a grip.
YANBU If you’re going to rate someone’s body parts in front of them, knowing full well they’re watching be prepared to have a two minute discussion about it especially if you rate some part 40% less than other parts.

OP posts:
crumpet · 27/03/2021 14:32

Is he a 5/5 all round?

VettiyaIruken · 27/03/2021 14:35

Does this ring a bell?

(Just from Google)
proximity, familiarity, physical attractiveness, similarity, reciprocity

StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/03/2021 14:38

You were silly to even try it. Very few people think their partners have perfect bodies - most people aren’t daft enough to ask for a rating.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/03/2021 14:39

Why would you do that with each other?!? That would be like going on that 'your face or mine' program.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/03/2021 14:41

That's ridiculous OP. You were BOTH unreasonable to do it. Nobody is 5/5 in every area, physical or otherwise. If we love someone, we don't break them down into constituent parts - we love them wholly.

You need to let this go. If he tells you, you won't be happy, you'll likely be upset & he'll be made to feel like the bad guy.

Daft idea.

YoniAndGuy · 27/03/2021 14:43

Look up the lecture on google and watch it again.

Write 2,1,4,3,3 on a piece of paper and leave it lying around.

Smurfsarethefuture · 27/03/2021 14:45

@YoniAndGuy

🤣🤣🤣

Tinydinosaur · 27/03/2021 14:46

Nobody is 5 all round. I don't believe for a second my husband finds me the most physically attractive person in the world. That's not why we're together.

Ginevere · 27/03/2021 14:46

I’m overweight. I know my partner loves my body, but if I asked him to rate it and he gave me all fives I would frankly think he was lying. I wouldn’t like to hear it, though, so I would never ask, especially since he’s fit and athletic and I know I’d come up badly in comparison.

Basically, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Notimeforaname · 27/03/2021 14:47

Write 2,1,4,3,3 on a piece of paper and leave it lying around
Perfect

Notimeforaname · 27/03/2021 14:47

He should be fine with not knowing what's what.

mixedfeelsaboutthispl · 27/03/2021 14:47

I don't get why people invite these sorts of situations

Atalune · 27/03/2021 14:48

Why do it if you don’t want to know the actaual truth?

You can’t handle the truth!

(Spoken as Jack Nickelson! 😝)

Kittykat93 · 27/03/2021 14:48

You were asking for trouble here op. I know I'm not a 5/5, but I know my partner loves me and I dont need or want to be rated.

Sansaplans · 27/03/2021 14:49

It was never going to end well was it...

TheDaydreamBelievers · 27/03/2021 14:50

Yes, I'm in the "why would you do that?!" camp. I'd likely joke out loud "you're a solid 10/5 all round" to my DH. Neither of us would ever actually rank these features. No good can come of it.

ballsdeep · 27/03/2021 14:51

Why, just why would you do this?!
It's going to end by badly either way.

SweetPetrichor · 27/03/2021 14:52

I wouldn’t give it another thought. None of us are 5/5!

TheDaydreamBelievers · 27/03/2021 14:52

Meant to add - I can understand why you are upset but no one is perfect. If my eyes, legs, and face are a 5, my body size is a 4 and my arms are a 3. Do you feel criticised by him about how you look outside this? If not, I'd let it go.

SnackSizeRaisin · 27/03/2021 14:54

He's quite right not to tell you!

Amdone123 · 27/03/2021 14:56

This wouldn't bother me. I know I'm 5 across the board ! Am joking, I think. I'm not perfect but who is ? Am good enough for me.

KrisAkabusi · 27/03/2021 14:57

Get over yourself. You're not perfect, nobody is.

Franklyfrost · 27/03/2021 14:57

I didn’t ASK him! He just did it. I had no idea it was in the lecture and no idea he’d do it.

I don’t think he’s a 5 all round but I don’t care about that! And I don’t care that he doesn’t think I’m all 5s. What bugs me is that he won’t tell me which body parts his answers related to. I feel like he’s dismissed my feelings after doing something bloody provocative.

OP posts:
May17th · 27/03/2021 14:58

@Sansaplans

It was never going to end well was it...
This
2bazookas · 27/03/2021 14:59

Tell him MN has rated him zero?

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