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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘D’H has announced that Covid doesn’t exist.

423 replies

OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 11:05

Name changed for this.

One year since lockdown 1 began and DH has announced that Covid does not exist.

The illness is ‘no different to flu’, he is not having the vaccine because ‘he doesn’t need to’ and if he falls ill with any symptoms listed as Covid he will not be taking a test and will phone in sick with backache or some such nonsense.

AIBU to think WTF?
Apparently he has thought this all along and decided to let us know as he is sick of ‘having his freedom taken away from him’.

What started as a chat about weekly testing ended up with this.

I don’t know what to do with this information. All year (pre. weekly testing /vaccine rollout) he’s just gone along with it all.

So, along with AIBU to think he has lost his mind, WWYD or say in this situation?

OP posts:
giao · 27/03/2021 12:38

Is it simply the case that looking stupid is preferable to looking scared OP?

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:41

@Nancydrawn

OP, is he sharing his views with your children?
Yes. They heard the ‘debate’ (late teens). They are smart and partly joined in the conversation. They know more than he does and can argue a point well. They think he’s wrong and told him so.
OP posts:
Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:42

@giao

Is it simply the case that looking stupid is preferable to looking scared OP?
Having read some of the excellent posts on here... I’m wondering that too.
OP posts:
VexedofVirginiaWater · 27/03/2021 12:42

Oh great, Covid doesn't exist does it? Just tell him I'll let my parents know. Oh wait, I can't, because they both died a month apart in the first wave - of Covid.

He is a complete knob and you have my sympathies OP.

PollyPocket245 · 27/03/2021 12:47

.... I wish I’d have known a year ago Covid doesn’t exist Hmm.

You can’t do anything other than let me get on with it. Just make sure there’s a space for him to isolate in the garage if he shows symptoms

PollyPocket245 · 27/03/2021 12:47

*him

Giantrooster · 27/03/2021 12:48

I would seriously loose respect, sorry.

But I have seen this approach on an old thread. I think it requires a lot of love and patience but if he is a keeper perhaps this could do it?

go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=twitter.com/dannagal/status/1347564138738946050

Giantrooster · 27/03/2021 12:49

Ah shit link doesn't work, don't go there, will try again.

babbaloushka · 27/03/2021 12:50

Why does he think theGovernment have plunged us into a recession over the flu? Is he one of those that thinks it's all part of master plan to control us, or does he think the scientific experts have failed to see what he 'knows'?

Sympathies OP, it can't be easy. People that get sucked in often have a superiority complex and believe they are privy to the "truth" etc and position themselves above the scientists and medical professionals.

Lentillover1900 · 27/03/2021 12:51

So you say that he’s completely complied with every regulation up until this point.

And that you have had not a whiff that he’s doing yes it before.

Well, in that case he is either frightened of the vaccine or he’s simply had ENOUGH with the regs.

The former of which, I don’t relate to but sympathise with. The latter of which, i am there myself!

justasking111 · 27/03/2021 12:52

I would leave him be stop discussing it, for the majority it does not affect them, some feel rotten, a few get ill. Fewer still die.

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:53

Giantrooster

I think the link might be right! (I clicked!)

I've received several DMs from friends asking what do to about parents/family members who believe misinformation regarding the election, vaccines and COVID. Here's a research-based thread to help explain the roots of these beliefs and how to (and how not to) address them.

OP posts:
Giantrooster · 27/03/2021 12:54

twitter.com/dannagal/status/1347564138738946050

Hope this works. Otherwise

‘D’H has announced that Covid doesn’t exist.
Pollypudding · 27/03/2021 12:55

You are in a such a difficult position OP.
This is an interesting article about how to speak to COVID Deniers-
www.verywellmind.com/how-to-talk-to-a-covid-denier-5089630
Flowers

Giantrooster · 27/03/2021 12:55

Thanks @OutOfLine my link went bananas, have tried a better one Smile.

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:56

@Lentillover1900

So you say that he’s completely complied with every regulation up until this point.

And that you have had not a whiff that he’s doing yes it before.

Well, in that case he is either frightened of the vaccine or he’s simply had ENOUGH with the regs.

The former of which, I don’t relate to but sympathise with. The latter of which, i am there myself!

Yes. Totally compliant. Other than mask wearing explained above (doesn’t go anywhere masks are required).

It’s all very depressing and I’m reeling from our (shouting match) debate last night.

OP posts:
WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 27/03/2021 12:56

@OutOfLine

I tried to reason with him.

We have vaccines for all sorts of diseases. We have medical tests for all sorts of conditions.
He can’t get past the fact that this vaccine hasn’t been trialled.

How many more millions would he like to 'trial' it before he had it?

If COVID doesn't exist -why does he care about the trials?

He's making no fucking sense

I'd tell him to fuck off to his mother's/brothers/mates & stay there. I can't be done with idiots.

Magnificentmug12 · 27/03/2021 12:56

I don’t think you can blame him, it’s a genuine response to put your head in the sand and think “this is nuts” when your at the end of your teather. I’m there with him I think, I KNOW covid exists, but I do also now think (after following literally every rule at the detriment of my own children) think fuck it. Just fuck it. I just can’t no more, I just can’t. Someone can only give what they have, some have more to give than others, some dont, and I’m on empty.

Just fuck it.

Gwenhwyfar · 27/03/2021 12:56

the people I know who 'don't believe in it' still got their vaccine! So I wouldn't worry about his getting the vaccine until he's invited.

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:57

Got it! Thank you Giant!

Also to you Polly!

OP posts:
purpleleotard · 27/03/2021 12:58

Does he have any mental health issues?

As the research on Qanon followers in the USA found they had a higher than average MH problem.

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 12:59

@Gwenhwyfar

the people I know who 'don't believe in it' still got their vaccine! So I wouldn't worry about his getting the vaccine until he's invited.
He can book in now. Has been ‘eligible’ for months.
OP posts:
Scarlettpixie · 27/03/2021 12:59

I am not surprised you are struggling with this revelation OP, I would be too. Sorry I don't have any advice.

I doubt you will change his mind after a year (unless he or someone close to him becomes seriously ill with covid). Whether you can live with him if these are his views is a matter for you. I would really struggle.

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 13:00

@purpleleotard

Does he have any mental health issues?

As the research on Qanon followers in the USA found they had a higher than average MH problem.

Depression on and off over many years. He has kept it in check for a long time.
OP posts:
Magnificentmug12 · 27/03/2021 13:00

I also think your not being very understanding in arguing the toss with him. He “feels” covid doesn’t exist (I don’t believe that as you said, like I did, followed every rule and everything) but he has just had enough and the rational response is “covid doesn’t exist”.

I don’t think he means it literally, but means it like how I’m thinking. You can’t argue his opinion. It’s his opinion and you have yours. You shouldn’t be rowing about this and be more supportive that he has obviously fallen off the edge and lost his marbles.