To ask what you do when your kids don’t want to go out?

[FireBelliedToad]

Planned a bike ride, first long one of the year. About 3 hours, break for lunch. DD 9 is saying she’s not coming.
She injured her little finger yesterday (trapped in a door) and says she will not bike until it’s better.

At 9 I would just usher her out. It's not up to her.

You say put your shoes on and get your helmet. That's what we are doing.

At 9, tell them they are coming like it or not. Older and able to stay home by themselves, I would leave them, but probably shorten the time I was away

Adding a nice treat for the break and say she's going. My kids can be like this but if I can steel myself for the first 15 mins of whinging it always ends up being nice.

Bribery probably.

As in, ‘I know you’re not into this, but it’s what we agreed. You’re too young for me to leave you at home, so how about we do this thing a get McDonald’s on the way home/Nintendo all afternoon/that film you wanted to watch'

Make her. End of. My ds is the same age and if he had his way we would do nothing

Its tricky isn't it. Mine are increasingly reluctant to go out. 13 and 8.
I can obviously leave 13 year old at home but don't really want to as they go off to dad's on a Sunday.
I find bribery works and the whinging only lasts the first 20 minutes or so.
Sometimes I admit defeat and we just stay home but I do hate feeling like I'm missing out on nice weather.

Insist, and ignore the complaining. They soon cheer up.

How many people does her refusal affect? If I was 9, and knackered from being back at school, and had hurt my hand, I wouldn't be looking forward to gripping handlebars for hours on end.

I think as shes injured her finger and its hurting i wouldnt force her on a 3 hour bike ride. Can someone stay at home with her while the other goes on the bike ride or you walk somewhere instead ? Its not worth damaging the relationship with her for the sake of a bike ride. If her finger was fine then i would try bribery but its not and i think you should respect her wishes. You can go on a bikeride another day.

See my kids are like this and I wouldn't go.

Dh works away but if he was here they wouldn't question it and would go.

Hmm personally I’d stay home instead and go for a walk locally and then bung a film on later with some treats or something. Sounds like she’s worn out and doesn’t fancy something strenuous.

First day of school holidays after an odd term and with an injury - albeit minor it sounds - I would come up with another plan which allowed for relaxing.

I think things like long bike rides need fo be something everyone fancies doing

Will it hurt to grip the handle bars? I wouldn't make her go in that case. I cut my finger making a sandwich the other day and had to type one handed the whole next day.

How has trapping her finger injured it? If it’s bruised snd swollen it will be hurting and I would wonder if she could actually hold handlebars for 3 hrs?
I think this scenario is different than a general winge about not going out. She might be too hurt to do it?

I'd say, 'There there,' and go out anyway unless it was actually an injury. She'll be fine once she gets going and you could always cut it short if it did begin to have an impact.

Put a plaster on said finger. Give them calpol and then get on with it. They're 9!

She's hurt her finger.

She acknowledge that and acknowledge the cycle ride won't be helpful to her pain or pleasant and say you are changing plans to accommodate that and going for a long walk and picnic instead.

Her not going isn't an option and if she point blank refuses you remove all fun alternatives in the house. But no way would I force my child who had an injured finger to be gripping handlebars for a few hours.

@ThursdayLastWeek

As in, ‘I know you’re not into this, but it’s what we agreed. You’re too young for me to leave you at home, so how about we do this thing a get McDonald’s on the way home/Nintendo all afternoon/that film you wanted to watch'

Pretty much this.

But we have also made the rule in our house that Saturdays are lazy days. After being at school all week both of them just want to stay at home. After working all week, I can't be arsed with the complaining TBH. DH works Saturdays too, so we just chill out, play, game, watch telly, they might go out in the garden in their PJ'S and I catch up on some bits around the house.

We save the days out for Sundays after we're all refreshed and I have DH for moral support with the complaining. I have to admit, since lockdown my kids are worse about complaining about going out.

Why don’t you change your plans and go for a walk instead of a bike ride

That way it won’t bother her finger

If she always says x is wrong I can't and it stops the rest of the family going then I think say come on we are going. If she doesn't though I'd not force it, I used to hate being dragged out when I didn't want to go.

And yes we do Sunday as big trips for exercise.

If we have those plans we potter Saturday, wash bedding and uniform and do food shop. Usually watch a film and do some batch cooking.

Sunday's we'd head out by 10am and back after lunch for lazy afternoon, roast, baths and nice food nights sleep before school starts all over again (for both of us!)

I would go for a long walk instead. If she’s hurt her finger it may well hurt to grip the handle.

.

If it comes down to it, the process here is: lock front door. Get self and toddler ready. Throw outdoor clothes, hat, gloves and boots of refusenik older child out on the back door step. Bodily lift refusenik child out onto back step, get toddler out quickly, close and lock door, key in pocket. Point out that she's going to get very cold if she doesn't get togged up. Go and feed the cat with toddler whilst refusenik wails. Collect miserable refusenik who is now dressed and agrees to come on walk. But is DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME BECAUSE IT IS BORING. Go on walk. Both children enjoy walk (mostly).