Would you choose money or love

[kylie122]

Just that

Money

I've had love, I've never had money. I'd like to try it. I dont think its as overrated as people say.

Love every time! But between us, we make good money, so I’m not really having to choose. But I know I’d be happier skint and with him, than rich without him.

Neither.

Married for love twice and it ended badly both times. Wouldnt marry for money because I dont consider myself to be a prostitute.

I would marry for mutual respect.

Based on bitter life experience money. But my own not reliant on a partner. Money gives you freedom, choices and independence and they are worth more than romantic love many times over.

It depends what you mean by love' - true, actual, deep, life-long love based on mutual respect and compatibility, or just a romantic relationship that could end up just as twisted and toxic as most on Mumsnet seem to? If the former, Love, if the latter, Money!

Money. Then you can buy your way out of a shitty situation and enjoy life without worrying about bills and debt.

Having said that.....I would like the chance to prove that money wouldnt change me :o

Assuming the love in question is genuine, lasting love, with a decent man, then I choose love. I make my own money.

Love. Earth shattering, can't eat / can't sleep, crazy, out of a movie kind of love. Every.Time.

Love, I can imagine my life without money and have survived quite well without it before. I couldn't imagine my life without my husband, he's my rock, 18 years together. We have been poor in the past but starting to get comfortable financially now (but not wealthy)

I could have had the money, living in Dubai with a holiday every month and "flash" instagram lifestyle but I really don't envy it. (Ok maybe in lockdown I've envied the sun a little bit )

I'm fortunate to have found genuine reciprocal love though, before I met my husband I thought I'd found love but the relationship was so unhealthy and not one of mutual respect. If I'd had a string of relationships like that and coming from divorced parents I'd definitely be saying money right now...

Money.
I've had so much stress over financial issues in my life that the feeling of security would be amazingly freeing and beneficial.

YVMV.

DM brought me up to earn my own money and never rely on a man. I married for love alone.

I've noticed that lots of women take a third option - marrying someone simply because they are desperate for a wedding (not a marriage) or/and a baby.

Assuming the love in question is genuine, lasting love, with a decent man, then I choose love.

But how do you know when its "ring on finger" time?

I thought I had that, twice. I was wrong both times.

Its easy to say that you would choose love with the benefit of hindsight, when in a happy successful marriage, but no one knowsfor sure when they say "I do".

I chose love. It's now about money 🤷🏻‍♀️

Money for me.
I've had love a few times, but never money, and I'm tired, worn out, and would like a crack at being comfortably off now.

Money. Because love is bullshit.

Other than my love for my children of course. I'm assuming you mean romantic love.

Love every time. Money can come and go, money does not bring happiness, it only beings security and even that is temporary sometimes.

Love doesn't always last but I'd rather die loved than rich.

I married my DH because I loved him and I still do, but I was also drawn to his financial sense in the first place, and I appreciate the fact we live a life where we don't worry or stress about money all the time.
My parents married for love and spent their whole marriage arguing about money till they got divorced anyway. I think it's a multifaceted question!

This is a false dichotomy which perpetuates women’s financial disadvantage.

I choose both.

Love. No amount of money makes up for misery and loneliness.

Although, if you have money, it’s easier to get out of many bad situations, including loveless relationships.

@HeddaGarbled

I agree, you make your own money, surely?

This then frees you to choose love.

I'll say Money but I'll get bored eventually I think, or abused, or ignored, or cheated on .. then will look for real love. Assume finding both is extremely rare. But who knows..I didn't have a choice as Love caught me first..

It depends - if I chose love would I have to live in poverty? If I chose money, would he be abusive?

I married young but I was aware that DH was likely to have good career prospects & came from a family who had more money than mine. They're not billionaires or anything, but they're definitely financially secure. I was also aware that he's a good man who would always honour his commitments. I like the idea of movie-style romantic love but I'm not convinced that's a real thing, or that I'm capable of feeling it. I tend to be too cynical & analytical about everything to be swept off my feet.

I was a little bit obsessed with Fiddler on the Roof as a teenager but what affected me most was the relationship between Golde & Tevye & the idea that love could grow so I decided as a teen to just find someone who was a good person & wanted the same things out of life. I guess you could say I married him in part because of my assumption that it would lead to financial security, but it was never about money in a wanting-to-be-rich way.

But how do you know when its "ring on finger" time.

I know because this is a hypothetical scenario, but a real life one.