To legally revert back to my maiden name?

[ThatOtherPoster]

When I married my first husband, I changed my surname to his. We have 2 DC that also have his surname. Eldest is nearly 18 now, youngest is still in their early teens.

When we divorced, I kept his name to be the same as the kids.

I then remarried. But I kept my first husband’s surname. He has mentioned a few times that he hates it. 😬

I now need to renew my passport and driving licence card, and I’m thinking of using that opportunity to change my surname back to my maiden name.

But I think this will hurt my husband’s feelings. Like, if I go to the trouble of changing it, it’ll be a kick on the teeth if I don’t change it to his name.

I’ve talked to DH about it and I think he’d prefer I had my maiden name rather than my ex’s name, but ideally I’d take his name. Except, I don’t want to.

I still work in my maiden name. I’ll miss sharing a surname with my DC but I think it’s time to be “me” again.

AIBU?

Plus, if we tried to travel abroad with the youngest DC, will that be a problem if neither of us (me, or DH) have their surname on our passports?

I changed mine back to my maiden name via deed poll. You can call yourself whatever you like, but I think things like driving licences and passports have to have your legal name on them. It only cost £125 and was really quick and easy

£125 seems expensive! Was that an enrolled deed poll by a solicitor?

You don't need to pay for a deed poll. You just need to present your birth certificate, marriage certificate and decree absolute to the passport people, dvla etc

Yes I did it via a solicitor

You can do it yourself and it would be a fair bit cheaper at a guess

You don't need to pay for a deed poll. You just need to present your birth certificate, marriage certificate and decree absolute to the passport people, dvla etc

Thanks - I know you’re right. But the thing is, I only have one copy of my divorce paperwork and birth certificate so it’ll take ages as I’ll have to wait to get that all back before I can contact the next organisation. The passport alone will take 6 weeks. So the deed poll (I’ve ordered copies of it) means I can blanket-bomb everyone at once abd get it done ASAP.

The bank was quick because I could take the paperwork in there and they photocopied it snd returned it straight away.

But you’re right.

I just ordered extra copies. It cost a bit, but less than deed poll and less hassle in the long run

@harknesswitch

I changed mine back to my maiden name via deed poll. You can call yourself whatever you like, but I think things like driving licences and passports have to have your legal name on them. It only cost £125 and was really quick and easy

You do not need to pay for a deed poll. You’ve just been fleeced £125!

I just ordered extra copies. It cost a bit, but less than deed poll and less hassle in the long run

I didn’t think of doing that! 😆

I'm pretty sure I just emailed copies of my documents to most places. It was official govt stuff that needed to see the originals and the bank, but I worked round the corner and knew the personal banker pretty well.

@ThatOtherPoster

I’ve just asked DH if he’d mind if I reverted back to my maiden name. He said, “It’d be infinitely preferable to [ex DH name].”

I’m sad if I’m hurting his feeling by not taking HIS name but I just want to be “me”.

You do what you want. I didn’t change my name to my DH’s surname because I didn’t want to. I put me first....my DH wanted me to change my name. He said he wouldn’t change his to mine so that was that....I did not feel bad about it. I don’t worry at all that I have a different name to my DD, it never crosses my mind. I’m DDs mummy, that’s all.

I’ve not had any problem taking our little girl abroad (so far only day trips to France!) without him. I just have our marriage certificate and her birth certificate in her passport.