I know it's Facebook and I should scroll on past but what goes through people's MINDS!?

[FortunesFave]

Before anyone says "Well you don't sound like you like her much!" about my friend who this is about...you're wrong, I love her dearly. BUT for some unknown reason she keeps posting photos of herself in her workout gear on FB and saying "I've honestly never been happier with my figure" and "My young body was ok but now I do X sport, my 40 something body is so much better!"

I mean...it's embarrassing isn't it?

AIBU? She is fit and it's lovely...but it's just not something you have to crow about! I'm fit too...I do another sport but I'd never post this sort of thing because I imagine my mates who struggle with their weight would feel terrible about it!

Or even if they didn't, they;d think I was a bit of a wanker wouldn't they?

Or is this sort of thing ok now? Am I out of touch? My friend always has a lot of likes on her posts but they drop considerably on these ones...so others must feel the same...why doesn't she notice!?

People who post these kind of things probably don't actually like their bodies. They're often looking for reassurance that they look beautiful. The comments and likes make them feel better. If anything I feel a bit sorry for people who have fallen in to this trap, however I do think posting on mumsnet about it is a bit ridiculous. I absolutely wouldn't post something like this online, ever, about a dear friend.

Its really none of your business what your friend posts, if you don't want to see her posts then delete her. I never understand when people come on here moaning about what other people are doing on sm.

Each to their own I suppose. Alot of FB posts are self serving one way or another

Is she about to start flogging juice or aloe shit that has helped her get that body?

I need to know what the sport is

What’s the issue? Why is it embarrassing?

If your overweight mates would “struggle” with it that’s their own problem and they should take steps to fix it, not wallow in self pity over others getting off their arse and exercising.

Is it a repost from Instagram? — this sort of thing is 100% normal on Instagram because that platform is less 'personal' - and sometimes if you post to Instagram it can be automatically reposted to facebook

@SomethingToldTheWildGeese

Is it a repost from Instagram? — this sort of thing is 100% normal on Instagram because that platform is less 'personal' - and sometimes if you post to Instagram it can be automatically reposted to facebook

No it's not. but as the response here is that I AM BU I'll accept that!

I just find it a bit...desperate...looking obviously for flattery. You know...fishing! Isn't that a bit daft when you're in your 40s?

I have a fb friend who shares pictures of her amazing figure in the gym and tbh if I had a figure like hers I might show it off too. She looks amazing!

I think any post that ultimately boils down to "look at meee!" is the height of vanity and quite distasteful. Whatever happened to modesty?

But if it makes her feel good why would you have a problem with that? The world is shit enough, if it gives her a bit of happiness then let her be.

I have one friend who does this. She looks great, has a tan and all that. She also has a long standing eating disorder and chronically low self esteem.

The thing is if she is on lots of private workout or fitness groups she will see this all day and it seems totally normal, but she is obviously posting on her own feed as well which some people do, some don't.

@emilyfrost

What’s the issue? Why is it embarrassing?

If your overweight mates would “struggle” with it that’s their own problem and they should take steps to fix it, not wallow in self pity over others getting off their arse and exercising.

I think it's bloody offensive that this is being said about overweight people without them even doing anything. For fucks sake, the op is the one pondering about the mental fragility of her potential fat friends.

Yeah, cringey. But I think it’s a bit patronising to assume that your fitness/body would make your friends who struggle with their weight feel terrible.

Is it cross fit? All the cross fitters I know think they are the best thing since sliced bread.

I love celebrating people who are happy with themselves, far more healthy than hearing the narrative about “I need to lose weight” “I am so wrinkly” “I need to get rid of this tummy” etc, honestly I wish more people did it, we accept people running themselves down without blinking an eye! Let’s accept people talking themselves up just as easily

I am a fat friend and while my friends don't post photos of themselves in workout gear, because they would also have red faces and sweaty armpits
The pictures that really bother me are the ones I'm in where it's very obvious how much larger I am then my friends/family. So this wouldn't bother me.
Is she a recent convert to exercise? People can get evangelical about exercise/diets if they work and they were previously unhappy with their size/shape.

YAB(a bit)U. I wonder if she is looking for positive reinforcement. Plus it's a bit different, when you used to be less happy with your body. And whilst not many friends may reply now, there will probably be a few that DM her who provide encouragement and give her that extra push in the gym.

I went through a big running phase after becoming self-employed and always shared my workouts and sometimes weight loss. It was part of the process for me at the end of the run to post my results, plus the interactions replaced those I used to get from a team in the office. Could be a lockdown version of that?

If she’s a friend just be happy for her. I don’t get the new trend for begrudging happiness.
It’s not about you, comparing to you or anyone else, she’s happy and has shared that. Get that frame of mind on. Maybe she’s been feeling really down, but is now picking up and on a bit of a high and just wanting to share that. Just smile and tell her she’s fit and lovely if she is. It’s massively unlikely that behind the posts is a conceited cow.

I got caught in this a while ago myself. I posted on Facebook some happy posts, largely for family, when one of my children progressed hugely in something they’d always had difficulty. Whilst obviously her aunts/ grandma etc were happy I got a lot of snide ness from people who thought I needed to get torn back down as I was boasting. The thing is they all had kids that do well, no issues, and probably even better in what my child did. No need to feel like there was a negative comparison! Yet they stopped liking anything and starting making comments that got back to me.

Learnt a lesson and restricted everyone now apart from family on Facebook. I’d just been accepting friend requests without thinking then got a little carried away being happy (which isn’t the done thing).

I just cannot relate to the mentality of people on there. If you like someone do you want to only observe their misery? If I see a happy person I normally get a little glow myself, happiness is good to see.

I think it’s a bit cringe at any age.
I like before and after shots because they mean something but just photos in workout clothes with everything on display does scream desperate to me.
The whole “I’ve never been happier” statement too. Who are you trying to convince?

@emilyfrost

What’s the issue? Why is it embarrassing?

If your overweight mates would “struggle” with it that’s their own problem and they should take steps to fix it, not wallow in self pity over others getting off their arse and exercising.

Wow but if fat hate when overweight people haven't even done anything. Also shocking news fat people can exercise and still be fat! Who would think it?!

Your prejudice is showing.

@Chunkymenrock

I think any post that ultimately boils down to "look at meee!" is the height of vanity and quite distasteful. Whatever happened to modesty?

I disagree. I think it often comes from insecurity.

Is she about to start flogging juice or aloe shit that has helped her get that body?
THIS! A friend of a friend started doing this. Within a few weeks the selling started.